The Asylum Announces Stephen King's IT Mockbuster THAT! - Dread Central
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The Asylum Announces Stephen King’s IT Mockbuster THAT!

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That Poster

Oh, The Asylum… Is nothing sacred to you? Haven’t you already had enough butchering of blockbuster films with your mockeries like The Hitchhiker, Invasion of the Pod People, or Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies? Are you not satiated by all of the Sharknado films you’ve released over the years?

Apparently not because now you’ve decided to tread upon one of the most sacred horror titles in recent memory: Stephen King’s IT.

Yup, you read it correctly. The Asylum is (of course) going to make its own version of IT, which they’ve hilariously titled THAT. I’ve gotta hand it to them… it’s (or should I say, that’s) rather clever.

However, what ISN’T clever is the fact that they’ve decided a clown isn’t scary enough for their meager budget, so why not create a shark/clown hybrid? You can see it for yourself below along with the first bit of artwork.

Directed by Rob Boss and written by Scott Foy, THAT stars Dean Cain, Kevin Sorbo, Casper Van Dien, Jaleel White, Tori Spelling, Dustin Diamond, Elizabeth Berkley, Tom Arnold, Eric Roberts as Mayor Bachman, and Gary Busey as THAT. THAT is set for release later in 2017.

Are you ready for this year’s most anticipated mockbuster from the studio that has to put a fucking shark in everything? This is not IT; it’s THAT!

Synopsis:
Seven nostalgia-obsessed middle-aged geeks reuniting in their seemingly idyllic small town of Kingston are forced to contend once more with a demonic shark-clown named Nickelbottom, who once terrorized them in their youth and abducted one of their childhood friends, never to be seen again. Meeting a young girl with psychic powers who has just escaped from Nickelbottom’s clutches, they realize their old friend may still be alive and prepare to rescue him by venturing into the sewers to find the portal to “The Downside Up,” the sinister alternate dimension in which Nickelbottom resides.

But the horrifying harlequin that preys upon childhood fears is ready for them, fighting back by making them confront their scariest movie fears growing up: a rabid dog, a driverless car, a pyrotechnic prom queen, horny werecats, a rampaging virtual reality lawnmower, a haunted laundry machine, an angry gypsy armed with a cursed pie, ass-bursting alien worms, and corn — lots and lots of evil corn.

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Castlevania: Grimoire of Souls Announced for iOS

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There’s a new Castlevania game coming our way, and whilst you might be a little disappointing that it’s not a fully fledged console release, you’ll be glad to know that it’s not a Pachinko either. It’s actually an iOS game by the name Castlevania: Grimoire of Souls, and it takes the series back to its classic 2D roots.

Dracula, who has been a staple of Castlevania since day one, probably won’t be showing up in Grimoire of Souls, as the game takes place many years after his true and final death. Things aren’t all sunshine and rainbows following the demise of the Lord of Darkness, however, as you’ll have to hunt down a cursed Grimoire with the power to bring Dracula back into the world. Throughout the story mode, you’ll pay as a character named Genya Arikado, a newcomer to the series, as you team up with Lucy, a member of a mysterious research organization, to prevent Dracula’s resurrection.

Grimoire of Souls will also have a co-op mode which can be played by up to four players, in addition to a four-versus-four competitive mode. For these modes, players will be able to choose from a selection of popular Castlevania characters, including Simon Belmont, Maria Renard, Charlotte Aulin, and Dracula’s son, Alucard.

There’s currently no word on when Konami will publish Castlevania: Grimoire of Shadow on the iOS, although you can sign up for the Japanese closed beta right now.

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Channel 4’s New Series True Horror Opens With A Warning For Nervous Viewers

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If you live in the UK, now has never been a better time to renew your TV license. That’s because Channel 4 are broadcasting a new dramatized documentary series called “True Horror”, which will take you into the heart of four terrifying true horror stories.

In pure Channel 4 style, each episode will open with a disclaimer reading “scenes of paranormal activity may disturb viewers”, before heading straight into a mix of both real life interviews and scripted segments. The first season of “True Horror” will consist of four episodes, with a special called “The Witches’ Prison” also being broadcast on Halloween. Today’s episode will be called “Hellfire Farm”, and will recount the tale of a couple who moved into a supposedly haunted farm in the Welsh countryside. This installment was directed by BAFTA nominee Tom Kingsley, and will be shown at 10pm.

“True Horror” was produced by “The Enfield Haunting’s” Jamie Campbell and Joel Wilson, and stars James Dryden, Charlotte Eaton, Sammy Williams, Katie Jarvis, Adam Leese, Amy Morgan, and James Tarpey. And you really should watch the series, because it needs the ratings. If not, we’re just gonna get more of the soap opera and singing competition garbage that usually dominates British TV.

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Agony Had To Be Censored To Avoid An Adults Only Rating; PC Version Can Be Played Uncut

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Agony looks like one of the most explicit games we’ve ever seen, so it comes as no surprise that it had to be slightly censored in order to avoid an Adults Only rating from the ESRB. Now, before you go bitching about how much you hate censorship, keep in mind that the changes made to the game were minimal, with the camera having to be slightly obscured during some of the most extreme sequences so that it could secure an M-rating.

As AO-rated games are never released on consoles, the version of Agony coming to PS4 and Xbox One will be the slightly altered M-rated edition, whilst the PC version will come with an optional patch to remove the censorship and to experience a fully uncut version of the game.

As anyone familiar with the history of the ESRB will know, this isn’t the first time that a non-pornographic game ventured into Adults Only territory. The Punisher and Manhunt 2 both had to be censored in order to avoid an AO rating, whilst Hatred was released uncut on Steam with the rating intact.

Agony, which takes place in Hell, was developed by Madmind Studio, and will be published by PlayWay later this year.

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