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The Most Memorable Meals of Horror: Part 2

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The Meals of Horror: Part 2!

Horror fans sure do have quite the voracious appetite for all things gruesome, as my first Meals of Horror installment had you wanting more movies to feast upon. In case you haven’t read it yet, click here to do so before reading on. Now, that you’ve had a taste, I think it’s time to serve up a second helping of the most wonderfully macabre meals to ever appear in horror films. Once again, after you finish reading, feel free to post in the comments section below to suggest other morbid meals you’d like to see appear in future installments. Okay, let’s dig in, shall we?

The Meals of Horror: Part 2!
OODLES OF POODLES!

This first suggestion came from reader Carlill, and it was already on my list of scenes I absolutely had to cover in this article series. Theatre of Blood (1973) starred the late, great Vincent Price as a Shakespearean actor who decides to terrorize his critics. In what’s easily one of the most memorable sequences in the entire film (which pays tribute to Shakespeare’s classic tragedy, Titus Andronicus), Vincent’s character Edward Lionheart bakes a delicious pie for one of his critics, Meredith Merridewa. What could Merridewa possibly love more than a tasty pie? Well, his pet poodles – or his “babies” as he refers to them – are his most beloved things in the entire world. Edward decides to combine the best of both worlds, by using Merridewa’s precious poodles as the main ingredient in his pies! Merridewa is quite rude, however, for he doesn’t want to eat the pies. So, some of Edward’s vagrant pals hold Merridewa down so he can force feed the poodle pies to him. After Merridewa dies, Edward makes a post-kill quip that even Freddy Krueger would be proud of: “Pity… he didn’t have the stomach for it.”

The Meals of Horror: Part 2!
SARDINE?

I gotta say, there are few movies I’ve watched more times in my life than The ‘Burbs. It’s just one of those movies that never gets old, no matter how many times I view it. It’s a warm blanket. It’s comfort food. It’s also one of the greatest horror-comedies of all time, with absolutely perfect casting. It’s basically an extreme version of having strange neighbors living next door in suburbia, only to discover that all your worst fears about them are true.

One day, Ray Peterson (Tom Hanks) and his friends reluctantly decide to visit the Klopeks (their creepy new neighbors), in hopes of learning more about what they’ve been up to. The Klopeks are a truly odd family, and they’re clearly not used to having guests over, so Hanz Klopek does his best to be a good host by offering his guests sardines and pretzels. Nobody wants to eat the sardine, but Ray’s wife Carol (Carrie Fisher) wants him to be courteous and eat one. Horrified by what he’s about to do, Ray grabs a slimy sardine, lays it onto a pretzel, and shoves the entire thing in his mouth. I cannot even begin to describe the sounds of him starting to chew on the thing, but suffice to say, the foley audio person must’ve had a field day with this scene. It’s absolutely repulsive and hilarious at the same time, and then Tom Hanks sells it even more by going into a crazed, seemingly allergic reaction, until he yacks up the food into a nearby newspaper. How Brother Theodore (Uncle Reuben Klopek) kept a straight face for the full duration of this scene never ceases to amaze me. If you haven’t seen The ‘Burbs, do yourself a favor and remedy this immediately.

The Meals of Horror: Part 2!
BANANA BREAK!

While we all love to talk about Crispin Glover’s amazing dance sequence in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, it’s important to remember some of the other classic scenes in the movie, including the kills. And I gotta say, amongst the earliest kills in the movie is one that no horror fan should ever forget. So, there’s a hitchhiker in the woods looking to get a ride to Canada; her sign reads about peace and love, but also says “Fuck you!” on the back for anybody who drives by and mocks her. Hey, you gotta be prepared for any situation, right? And speaking of being prepared, she packed a nice little meal for herself while waiting for a generous person to give her a ride: a banana. Hitchhiker (sadly, that’s the name they gave her character, but we can call her Miss Chiquita) begins peeling open her banana and starts to eat it. Unbeknownst to her, Jason Voorhees has just walked up and decided to stab her right through the throat from behind. It’s an awful way to go, and the pain she’s experiencing is shown with a close-up of her fist, squeezing the hell out of banana so it squirts out from within the peel. Never before had a banana in cinema felt the brute force of Jason Voorhees.

I also like to imagine what would’ve happened if Miss Chiquita had other foods or beverages in her hand at the time of her death. Could she squeeze a tube of Go-Gurt so that it shoots out and gets all over Jason? Could she squeeze a champagne bottle so hard that the cork fires out and knocks Jason unconscious? The possibilities are endless!

The Meals of Horror: Part 2!
UH-OH, SPAGHETTIOS!

Who could possibly forget the impactful kills of John Doe in Se7en? Many copy-cat films were created as a result, but none came even remotely close to capturing the tension and atmosphere ofSe7en. John Doe punished each of his victims in a completely ruthless fashion, basing his kills on the seven deadly sins, and when we saw his first victim based on Gluttony, we knew we were in for a truly different kind of killer. John Doe forced this poor obese man to eat can after can after can of spaghetti until his stomach burst. It was chilling to think of a killer who had that kind of patience and callousness to just stand there, holding his victim at gunpoint, and making him eat cheap canned spaghetti until his death.

And from now on, when you watch the final scene where Brad Pitt’s character asks, “What’s in the box!?”, I want you to imagine it’s a lone cane of SpaghettiOs. Why? Because you’re gonna burst out laughing, and nobody else in the room will understand why. It’ll be our little secret. The spaghetti secret.

The Meals of Horror: Part 2!
DON’T EAT THE WORM!

Know any alcoholics who just can’t quit? No problemo. Forget about sending them to AA meetings, just have them watch this scene from Poltergeist II: The Other Side, and they’ll be on the wagon before you can sing “God is in his holy temple…” in a creepy voice. Steven Freeling has been hitting the sauce pretty hard, and who can blame him? When you consider all the things his family has been through over the course of two Poltergeist films, it’s amazing he’s not doing heroin at this point. Well, on this particular day, he’s chugging some tequila (though Mezcal is what it would be in reality) and swallows the worm that was floating around at the bottom of the bottle. Unfortunately for him, that worm was possessed by the evil spirit of Reverend Henry Kane. Now Steven is possessed as well, and after terrorizing his wife, he finally barfs up the huge worm that’s grown exponentially inside his stomach, and we’re treated to a slimy, skeletal monstrosity with the grinning face of Kane. Chug all the Pepto you want, but it’s not gonna cure that kind of indigestion. And that, my friends, is why I’ll stick to drinking water.

The Meals of Horror: Part 2!
FOOD FOR THE PEOPLE, BY THE PEOPLE!

Ah, Soylent Green. A total classic, and there’s no way I would leave it out of this series of articles. For those of you who haven’t seen the film (and if you haven’t, I must ask… why!?), it’s all about how the world has become overpopulated in the year 2022, and citizens are given food rations by the Soylent Corporation, including their newest green wafer product, Soylent Green. These wafers were supposed to contain proteins produced by plankton in the sea, thus providing humans with the nutrients they’d need to survive during these trying times. However, the lead character, Detective Frank Thorn, eventually discovers that the plankton that’s supposedly in Soylent Green is no longer in the oceans, so that can’t be what’s inside of it. So what exactly is inside those green wafers? How are they still filled with protein? Come on… even if you haven’t seen the film, I’m sure you’ve heard the infamous quote: “Soylent Green is people!”

Fans of the movie should also know that there were some Soylent Green crackers released a few years back, and while they’re no longer in production, they do pop up on eBay from time to time. It’s a great item for those of you who like collecting horror memorabilia and/or want to know what people really taste like.

The Meals of Horror: Part 2!
WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!

Finally, I wouldn’t want to leave you hanging without paying homage to this b-movie gem from 1995, starring Clint Howard. The Ice Cream Man is that classic tale we’ve all heard a million times before: Boy sees ice cream man murdered. Boy goes to mental ward. Boy gets out of mental ward. Boy is now all grown up and becomes a serial killer ice cream man.

In all seriousness, I’ve always found this movie to be an absolute blast. It’s funny as hell, and if you ask me, this was the role Clint Howard was born to play. Watching him try to be creepy as possible in such an absurd role is entertaining enough, but seeing him serve up a severed head in a comically large homemade waffle cone with a cherry on top to an ultra-horny woman takes the movie to another level.The Ice Cream Man isn’t just dumb, it’s absolutely ridiculous. But it’s the best kind of ridiculous. It’s a gift that all horror fans should devour… just don’t eat it up too quickly, or you’ll get brain freeze.

That’s all for this second piece in my “Most Memorable Meals of Horror” series. Be sure drop a comment below, on the Dread Central Facebook page, or tweet me at @imockery or with your suggestions for the upcoming third installment! As Audrey II would say… “Feed me, Seymour!”

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An Exclusive Clip Rises for The Rizen

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The government, man! You just never know what on earth they’re gonna be pulling next! One second they’re pardoning turkeys, and the next – BAM – they friggin’ unleash The Rizen.

Laura Swift (The Snowman), Sally Phillips (the Bridget Jones series), Bruce Payne (Warlock III, Passenger 57), Julian Rhind-Tutt (Lucy), Tom Goodman Hill (Everest), and The Young Ones’ Adrian Edmondson all star in writer-director Matt Mitchell’s action-horror The Rizen, invading VOD on January 2nd from Uncork’d Entertainment.

Synopsis:
The year is 1955. NATO and the Allied Forces have been conducting secret, occult experiments in a bid to win the Arms Race. They have finally succeeded, but what they have unleashed could tear our world apart. Now one woman must lead the only other two survivors past faceless horrors that threaten to kill or capture them at every turn. They are the only ones left who can fight to close a door that should never have been opened.

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AMC Reveals When The Walking Dead’s Last Stand Will Begin

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Last night “The Walking Dead” took one of its biggest detours yet from the storyline of the comics on which the series is based, but you won’t find any spoilers here aside for a peek at the show’s midseason return trailer.  In addition to the video, we have confirmation of when Episode 8.09 will be airing… read on for the details of when our survivors’ last stand begins!

Season 8 of “The Walking Dead” resumes on Sunday, February 25th, at 9/8c.  While you wait, if you’re not totally caught up, you can binge all the latest episodes on AMC.com or the AMC app.

Season 8 Synopsis:
Last season Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) and his group of survivors were confronted with their deadliest challenge yet. With the comfort of Alexandria, they let their guard down, only to be reminded how brutal the world they live in can be.

Feeling powerless under Negan’s (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) rules and demands, Rick advocated the group play along. But seeing that Negan couldn’t be reasoned with, Rick began rallying together other communities affected by the Saviors. And with the support of the Hilltop and Kingdom, they finally have enough fire power to contest the Saviors.

This season Rick brings “All Out War” to Negan and his forces. The Saviors are larger, better-equipped, and ruthless — but Rick and the unified communities are fighting for the promise of a brighter future. The battle lines are drawn as they launch into a kinetic, action-packed offensive.

Up until now, survival has been the focus of Rick and our group, but it’s not enough. They have to fight to take back their freedom so that they can live. So that they can rebuild. As with any battle, there will be losses. Casualties. But with Rick leading the Alexandrian forces, Maggie (Lauren Cohan) leading the Hilltop, and King Ezekiel (Khary Payton) leading the Kingdom — Negan and the Saviors’ grip on this world may finally be coming to an end.

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The Movie Crypt Raises $22,574.68 to Save Yorkies With YOUR Help

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This past weekend marked Adam Green, Joe Lynch, and Arwen’s second annual 48-hour LIVE Movie Crypt charity marathon in which they stayed up with the help of some truly awesome guests to raise money for SAVE A YORKIE RESCUE.

When all was said and done, that gang raised $22,574.68 for the charity and had a blast doing so! We’re talking barrels full of cute and cuddlies that were saved over the weekend with your help. Be proud. You guys helped do something incredible, and there should be no greater feeling.

We here at Dread Central would like to take this time to congratulate everyone involved and offer our sincerest of thanks to everyone who took part from listeners, to talent, to contributors… thank you for making a difference not only in the lives of the animals your money will help to save, but also the lives and loves of the kind folks inhabiting their prospective forever homes. Bless you all.

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