4 Heroic Stoners To Remember On This High Holiday

Stoners get a bad rap. After-school specials make stoner culture seem dangerous. Film treats them like fools. However, the genre has some of the most iconic stoners that end up saving their friends. In some cases, they even save weird islands or the world. I figured today was a good day to celebrate some of our underappreciated heroes.

The Faculty (1998)

Zeke Played By Josh Hartnett

Where You Can Watch: HBOMax

Zeke is clearly a fan of the sativas. He has a lab in his garage where he makes the drugs that he sells to other high school students. Zeke is also smarter than most of his class. He’s apparently also confident enough to rock a haircut that is an obvious cry for help. I assume he did this to himself. He probably learned to not get high off his own supply when he came to with the scissors in his hand. Back to the movie though! When he realizes shit is weird at this school, he becomes the brave leader we know stoners can be. The after-school specials were lies! He puts his suburban street smarts to use to get the group safely from this alien situation. He then gets them to regroup and come up with a plan. Zeke even dips into his stash to find out if an alien is among them. Most of us would’ve been upset that this alien invasion is ruining our business and our high. I know I would’ve left town personally. However, Zeke rises to the occasion to be the hero the movie deserves. 

Halloween (1978)

Laurie Strode Played By Jamie Lee Curtis

Where You Can Watch: The Roku Channel and Shudder

No matter which timeline you look at, our beloved Laurie Strode was a stoner. A stoner that said “Not today” the first time Michael came home. I think Laurie and the girls were smoking a nice indica because they were all so mellow when Michael showed up to ruin everyone’s night. Who can blame them for getting high for this night’s festivities? The only thing worse than having to babysit on Halloween is having to do it sober. This also makes Halloween II make sense because she was still high when the doctors gave her the sedative. This poor woman will probably say no to all drugs for the rest of her life. Because of this one long night in Haddonfield, she will never get high again. Laurie taking a couple of hits on her way to her gig make her a more endearing final girl than we’re used to. It makes all of the timelines more interesting to know that that woman we see in Resurrection, H20, or the new trilogy started out as a teen that just wanted to get high and make a couple of dollars. This makes Jamie Lee Curtis a scream queen that also warned us of the horrors of the gig economy. 

Idle Hands

Anton Played By Devon Sawa

Where You Can Watch: Pluto TV

If you’re like me, then you had a crush on Devon Sawa and wandered into this chaos. As a child, I didn’t understand that Anton isn’t your typical dude living in his mother’s basement. He’s an iconic dude living in his mother’s basement. Watching him use an asthma inhaler as a bong before strutting through the neighborhood in his boxers is a mood. He doesn’t let his murder hand stop him from pursuing his crush as he walks through life wearing bloody clothes. May we all learn to be as unbothered as Anton is as he buries the loved ones his hand killed. When his hand develops a mind of its own, he does damage control. He soon realizes that cutting it off might be for the best. When it shows up at the school dance he knows he has to finish this. He immediately puts his life and other limbs on the line to shut it down. We have to acknowledge that he’s one of the many forgotten stoner heroes out here in these streaming streets. Give the boy a hand!

Scooby-Doo (2002)

Shaggy Played By Matthew Lillard 

Where You Can Watch: Hulu

All of the other stoners ran because Shaggy crawled. This beloved stoner has been around forever. However, the very tall drink of water known as Matthew “Liver Alone” Lillard brought him to the live-action world. The movie? Questionable at best. The character? Forever stoned and sincere as usual. Not only does he manage to stay high, but he also has to get Mystery Inc. back together. He comes through time and time again. He succeeds in reuniting the others with their bodies and then saves his best buddy. The movie also plays up Shaggy’s extracurricular activities by naming his love interest Mary Jane. We also get to hear him and Scoob come up with the food combinations of the perpetually high. Shaggy is not only the epitome of a stoner on a mission. He’z Lzo the reason these characters remain a staple in the genre.

Bonus Picks

Antibirth (2016)

Lou Played By Natasha Lyonne

Where You Can Watch: VOD

I couldn’t find this one streaming for free but I’m here for almost anything Natasha Lyonne is into. Also, this is the only pregnant stoner that might also be a hero in the canon. I feel like this is going to be a good time and can’t wait to see it!

The Cabin In The Woods (2011)

Marty Played By Fran Kranz

Where You Can Watch: VOD

Clearly, Marty is the reason for this list. A lot of stoners on the list stopped some sinister plans. However, Marty saved the world from Sigourney Weaver and science. His sacrifice doesn’t go unnoticed. Plus his to-go coffee mug bong is iconic.

The Loved Ones (2009)

Brent Played By Xavier Samuel

Where You Can Watch: VOD

Because this movie is bonkers, we often forget that Brent was trying to get high and listen to music. When Princess ruined his day he was minding his own blazed business. He went through a night of torture, sobered up quickly, and then put an end to this shit. Other stoners in Australia are safe because he never gave up.

Let me know what you’re watching this 4/20 at @misssharai!

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