Fantasia 2019: SATANIC PANIC Review – Ritualistic Murder with Extra Cheese

Starring Hayley Griffith, Rebecca Romijn, Ruby Modine, Jordan Ladd, AJ Bowen

Written by Grady Hendrix

Directed by Chelsea Stardust


If you’re like most of us proletariats, then you undoubtedly have horror stories from your first day in a service-industry gig. Satanic Panic is the epitome of a bad day at a thankless job. When a pizza delivery driver, Sam (Hayley Griffith), drops off pies at a mansion in the uppity Mill Basin neighborhood, she unwittingly interrupts a satanic ritual in progress. It turns out that Sam just so happens to be the virgin they need to unleash their salaciously epic plans of political and socioeconomic dominion, which are led by the affluent Danica Ross (Rebecca Romijn).

While it takes some leaps of logic to follow the series of choices that lead Sam into the hands of the robed worshipers, the film’s setup is clever and immediately engrossing. It moves at a sharp pace, with a killer aesthetic and soundtrack to keep it bouncing from scene to scene. Director Chelsea Stardust gives us something that is bright, contrasty, and full of energy. The part-rock, part-synth score hits those nostalgic notes of retro without overdoing it. Satanic Panic resembles that gem of a midnight movie you’d discover in the discount VHS bin that somehow has the polish of a theatrical release.

Like any respectable midnight movie, Satanic Panic delivers on the blood and guts, naked peoples, and plenty of what-the-fuck moments that even a soothsayer wouldn’t see coming. Not only are there crude surprises that would make a shock jock blush, but Grady Hendrix’s script also offers fresh (and funny) takes on the ways we are accustomed to seeing ritualistic sacrifice onscreen. One of my favorite scenes involves a gut-wrenching spin on the voodoo doll concept. There are so many weird elements that each viewer is likely to walk away with their own reason to tell their friends why they need to see it.

A frequent complaint about horror comedies is mismanagement of the tone. Satanic Panic transitions between the grotesque and the giggles with ease – a balance that plays effectively thanks to the film’s audio and visual design. Establishing a unique and consistent tonal identity is a major challenge in a mixed genre film and Stardust’s story never feels confused about what it is. The film’s most horrific moments are arguably the most commanding, whereas the comedic highs didn’t always land. At times, jokes and line deliveries felt forced instead of a natural extension of the absurdity. There were missed opportunities to deliver inventive humor through dialogue, especially in proportion to the originality behind the macabre action.  

Satanic Panic doesn’t pull any punches. It’s gory, funny, self-aware, and unique. The comedy doesn’t always work as well as it should, especially in the first act before the craziness ramps up. However, once this movie gets going, you’ll be laughing and squirming through the rest of its speedy runtime. Assemble your coven, order a pizza, and enjoy a delightfully morbid good time. Oh and please, tip your delivery person.

  • Satanic Panic
3.5

Summary

Satanic Panic is a fun, original twist on the occult film. It rejuvenates tired iterations on witchcraft and satanic rituals. The comedy isn’t as consistently effective as the horror, resulting in some flat moments, but it manages to retain the charm of a midnight movie.

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