Gremlin (2017)
Matt Boiselle
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Starring Adam Hampton, Kristy K. Boone, Catcher Stair
Directed by Ryan Bellgardt
I might not know too much, but one thing I DO know – that’s the ironclad fact that director Ryan Bellgardt’s Gremlin is a far cry from those cute little furballs that got wet and terrorized a town back in 1984, and that’s where the pseudo-similarities come to a complete stop.
The film actually has a sort of replicated premise, although without the initial cuteness: an ornate box containing a very dangerous varmint inside of it will surely wreak havoc and destroy anyone who is in possession of it, and the only way to rid yourself is to pass it on to someone that you love – now how’s that for the ultimate gift-giving opportunity? We then focus on a man who currently is in the unlucky position of holding the cursed box, so he figures that his elderly mother (who’s in very poor health) would be the ultimate recipient of this fantastic present, but he tells her to pawn the thing off as soon as humanly possible…but here’s the rub: ol’ Grandma has a few family members getting ready to move in with her, so now the propensity for a group slaughter just went through the roof – way to go, junior! I think all of you can sniff this plot down the road of ruin – as the little creepy crawler escapes from his confines and begins slicing and dicing, the authorities are hot (or luke-warm) on the trail of whodunit, and all fingers are pointing towards the original giver of this offering of calamity.
Now kiddies, we move to the part of the program where I begin to take a huge dump on what’s wrong with this production: first off – the never-ending amounts of “who’s going to get this package – you take it! No, you take it!” This is something that quickly loses its luster and starts to drag on one’s nerves after a short spell, also the movie relies far too heavily on dialogue, especially for those who just want to see some innocent family members get their comeuppance over time. Pluses are the kills (when they occur), and the overall look of the film itself – this could be presented as a schlocky midnight-flick and it would definitely gain attention from fans who want a little creature-feature in their weekend mix, but this one just didn’t hit the mark for a guy who had a certain affinity towards a little mass of fur named Gizmo back in the day.
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Film
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