Windmill, The (2016)
Matt Boiselle
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Starring Charlotte Beaumont, Noah Taylor, Patrick Baladi
Directed by Nick Jongerius
Looking out over this desolate stretch of slasher-dom, there’s something in the far-off distance…now my eyesight certainly isn’t what it used to be, but if I clean the fecal matter off of my specs and focus in really hard, I can barely make it out – looks like a windmill.
Okay, yep – there it is, in all its antiquated glory – weathered by the elements, yet it stands and still manages to perform its main function, and in this case, it’s function is simple – restore some hope to the world of slice and dice. After checking out director Nick Jongerius’s Dutch hack-fest, The Windmill, I’d have to surmise that all is okay with the world right now…for a little while, anyhow. Formerly titled The Windmill Massacre (a bit TOO generic), the film centers around a young woman named Jenny (Beaumont) who, after an incident with her employer, goes on the run to escape a bit of jail time. Her answer to this is to hop aboard a tour bus and stick it out until the heat’s off and she’s far enough away to let things cool down – if you think that’s what will happen, allow me to be the FIRST to welcome you to the world of horror, where nothing of the sort works out to be sun-shiny for criminals, drug-riddled thieves, naked, drunk teenagers, or cute little old ladies – I’m sure I’m leaving out a plethora of stereotypes, but I’m sure you all catch my drift. With that being said, Jenny’s plan for hiding out goes awry (you knew it was coming) when the bus carrying a crapload of tourists breaks down along the Dutch countryside, and as fate would have it, the only-too-happy-to-oblige saints in the roadside assistance department have assured our stranded travelers that no help is immediately available due to them being so damn far away from anyone or anything. Only thing within walking distance is that damn windmill…oh, shit.
Our killer here is quite the sight: he’s called The Miller, and he’s as imposing as he is savage, and lucky for those of us who like our cinematic experiences soaked in blood, well there’s gonna be plenty of that to go around. Since Jenny is the only poor soul right off the bat that’s witnessed this force impose such brutality upon others, the remainder of the passengers simply write her rants off as just that: frantic ravings from some kook who stormed the bus at the last moment, and now they’re all stuck with her – big mistake. While the reinforcement of The Miller’s angle is a bit hokey and blueprinted, the film’s saving graces are the gore and scenery, and while many a slasher flick can rest on these bonuses, there’s something about this one that just looks so damn good, and makes this film one to definitely engage in this Halloween season. Jongerius keeps the template simplistic, ferocious, and absorbing to those who like a lot of slaughter with their tour-information videos – recommended.
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Film
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