Huntsman: Winter’s War, The (2016)
David Gelmini
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Starring Chris Hemsworth, Emily Blunt, Charlize Theron, Jessica Chastain
Directed by Cedric Nicolas-Troyan
2012’s Snow White and The Huntsman was certainly no masterpiece, but a worldwide gross of $396 million was just about enough to ensure a sequel a few years down the line. Enter 2016, and we have The Huntsman: Winter’s War, which focuses on the Huntsman, played by Chris Hemsworth, and how he rebels against the Ice Queen, Freya, played by Emily Blunt.
By the way, wherever Freya goes, everything turns to ice. Because what kind of evil fantasy villain would she be otherwise? I dread to think what happens when she farts.
Anyway, our movie begins with an endless prologue in which a narrator who sounds suspiciously like Liam Neeson recounts how a bunch of stuff happened that resulted in the Huntsman wanting revenge on Freya because she killed his love, Jessica Chastain, or something. Because as evil Freya delivers in a monologue, love and compassion are outlawed in her kingdom because they represent weakness. Is she trying to win an award for most evil villain or something?
Oh, before I forget, Charlize Theron also shows up for a few scenes because I guess they needed her star bankability so they begged her to come back briefly. But (three-year-old spoiler) didn’t her character die in the last film? Well, at least here she doesn’t scream most of her lines at the top of her lungs like she did before. That’s a positive I guess.
One huge thing that comes to your attention when watching The Huntsman: Winter’s War is just how damn scaled back and cheap the whole thing looks and feels. The original film may have cost a whopping $170 million, but this seems as though it wasn’t even made for a fifth of that. It’s almost as if they were afraid that it wouldn’t be a hit and just churned it out as hurriedly and cheaply as they could, which more than likely is what actually happened.
No big battle sequences, only a few watered down fights from time to time. No huge fantastical monsters, few epic setpieces. All we had was basically 114 minutes of a small group of characters walking through the woods, like a low-quality made-for-TV movie. Sure, the scenery looked nice, but there was so damn little going on.
By the time we get towards the end, it seems like they suddenly realized that they finally needed to inject some plot, with the third act being so damn convoluted and hard to follow that my brain was hurting. The clueless script is clearly testament to the fact that this was purely made for profit, not passion.
And as for Hemsworth, well, minus his, shall we say, imperfect Scottish accent, he actually does quite well in a role that doesn’t really require him to do more than look grumpy and occasionally swing an axe. With what little he had to work with, he managed in inject humor, wit, and sympathy into what would otherwise probably be a lifeless character. The fact that the two films that he headlined last year, Blackhat and In the Heart of the Sea, both massively underperformed does not bode well for his future career as a Hollywood leading man; however, here he was pretty much the main thing that prevented the film from being a total dud.
Ultimately, what we have with The Huntsman: Winter’s War is a follow-up film that nobody really wanted in a desperate, last-ditch attempt to establish a franchise. But now we can put those fears to rest because unless it performs spectacularly at the global box office, a third film seems unlikely. So the way that (spoiler) right before the credits roll, the narrator literally says that there is more to the story that has yet to be told, shamelessly paving the way for a future installment, seems like a huge slap in the face. They may as well have just said “Fuck you; go and see our film. Pretty please? We even got Charlize Theron back.”
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Film
Categorized:Reviews
