Event Report: Dark Hour – Love Is Blind
Mr. Dark
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As evidenced by my October 2014 write-up, I’ve got no shortage of love for Plano, Texas’ Dark Hour Haunted House. Founded and operated by a group of all-star haunt vets, Dark Hour represents the pinnacle of modern haunt design and technology.
Like many haunts who own their locations, Dark Hour does multiple shows a year, not limited to the Halloween season. Eight shows throughout the year, almost monthly, all with a dramatically different themes and shows. The conceit of Dark Hour is that Coven Manor, the focal point of the house, is home to several witches. In October the gang’s all here for the big party, but individual off-season shows have different witches running things.
February’s show is “Love Is Blind” and is run by Gisele Scuro, jilted and alone. Gisele, one of the younger witches, fell in love with a mortal who was unaware of her true nature. After some time, she decided to come out with the truth to her lover, but one of the other witches in the coven betrayed her, jealous of her happiness. Hearing of her evil nature, her beloved hung himself before she could arrive to tell him the truth herself. Anguished, Gisele cast a curse of darkness across the surrounding land. If her heart was to dwell in darkness alone, so would everyone else.
And that’s the major difference between the “Love Is Blind” show and other Dark Hour events: Lights out, baby.
Yep, it’s dark. And I mean DARK. Other than a few spare moments, the entire path is blacked out. You’re given a small, red glowstick. As Vegas vampire singer Buddy Blood says from on stage, that really doesn’t help you see, but it certainly helps the creeps and ghouls find you.
At the beginning of the trip, the gravedigger, Bonesy, tells you the tale I told you above, with much more detail and dramatic flair. He’s absolutely made of win, just a fantastic performance. Having this introductory narrator greatly enhances the experience, as everyone knows the story being told. It’s not just a bunch of random people shouting “boo” in your face.
Once inside, you don’t see much. This is kind of a shame, as Dark Hour is a gorgeous house with incredible details and hand-made FX and sets. But this is “Love Is Blind” and Gisele is merciless in her vengeance.
On Saturday, February 14th, I went through with some friends, and we were grouped with a very… lively set of teenage girls. Folks, if you can go through a haunted attraction, try to get paired with a group of teenage girls. I’m just sayin’. Endless entertainment.
One of my friends was a little tipsy, so of course we put her in front. Having the blind leading the blind is one thing, but the drunk and blind leading the blind, now that’s a hoot. With the teens pulling up the rear of our group, the shouts and screams almost never stopped.
One thing I absolutely adored about this show was the use of music. Since you don’t have your eyes, the only way to tell the tale and set the tone is through audio. The spooks inside the house provide part of that in what they say to you in the dark, but the music really sets the mood.
First thing you hear, in the graveyard section, is Tom Waits. Instant cool points. Melancholy love songs are the mood, and Tom’s gravelly wails start things off perfectly. As things progress, we hear Johnny Cash singing “You Are My Sunshine” in a very mournful way, recorded after his wife, June, had passed. Alone, in the dark, surrounded by things clearly not wishing you well… it’s a pretty hardcore feeling. Emotions in a haunted house? You betcha.
Other musical highlights are Nine Inch Nails’ “Something I Can Never Have” and a haunting, female rendition of “Love Hurts” that echoes perfectly through the end of the trip.
Those things roving in the dark add to the pall of grief. One crouching in the dark during the Cash section, repeating “please don’t take my sunshine…please don’t take my sunshine”… gave me shivers. Just chills up and down my arms. Sometimes “boo” isn’t nearly as scary as something that resonates emotionally like that.
The folks at Dark Hour understand that drenching you in depression isn’t much fun, so the spooks get up to mischief as well. One took to whispering sweet nothings in your ear. Literally. “Sweet nothings! Sweet nothings!” A witch in the manor kept trying to make the clapper work (clapping right in your face, when you didn’t know she was there) before commenting, “Eh, stupid thing must be busted.”
Sunday night I returned for more, for an experiment of sorts. For the first time ever, Dark Hour was open on a Sunday for “Singled Out.” Singles have a very hard time on Valentine’s Day, and Dark Hour decided to do something special for them and make the weekend even harder. It’s “Love Is Blind”… one at a time. Taking a cue from events like Alone in LA, you go through all by yourself.
Going through alone provided a much, much more intense experience. The maze is already designed to blind you. When your eyes are almost adjusted to the dark, they’ll throw in bursts of strobes, which work like flash-bang grenades. You’re completely snowblind, reliant upon the flashes to get a still photo of your surroundings to find your way through.
With no one to follow, no one to help… you are lost. I mean, lost. Even jaded old haunt vets like myself and Mitch the Viking (who went through before I did) were downright spooked by this. The lack of a group also guarantees one-on-one attention from each and every denizen of the maze. One kept calling me his valentine, leading me through, reminding me I was following the voice of a stranger in the dark.
It’s not for the faint of heart. I don’t know if they’ll repeat this experiment next year, but if you want to give it a shot, be ready. You’ll be lost. You’ll bump into things. There won’t be help. People will torment you while songs of loss and loneliness echo overhead. At one point, they pull a trick that makes you unsure of your feet, which are your one connection to anything. Gravity is now your enemy, good luck. You exit on shaking legs, truly relieved to be back in the light and on solid ground. I was bumped and bruised, my hands a little sore from feeling my way around. My legs hurt from walking half-crouched and unsure for the last half of the journey. I realized I’d been breathing shallow so I was winded. It’s a physical and emotional ride.
As usual, Dark Hour provided excellent pre-show entertainment while you waited in the lengthy queue. This time, there was a dance troupe of zombies performing to a medley of Michael Jackson songs, resident crooner Buddy Blood did a short set, and amusing videos of scares from past haunts and comedy clips from their YouTube account played on the screens above the stage.
It’s good that entertainment was provided because the wait time on Saturday was extremely long. If there’s one criticism I have of the show, it’s this: It’s too dark. A few moments of light to provide dynamics would be welcome. It would also speed up the queue dramatically. The wait was long because, as Buddy said on stage, people don’t run in the dark. To give groups enough time to move slowly through the house, they were given extra time in the gaps between them. That’s a good idea, but there needs to be a better balance between that time and the amount of time in line. While it’s worth it, be prepared if you attend this show next year.
That being said, it was still a huge amount of fun. Much more intense than Dark Hour‘s usual blend of hardcore haunt and amusing entertainment. “Singled Out,” in particular, is a huge step away from the standard haunt experience, providing a seriously intense experience for those hardened vets who laugh off most scares.
Next up, Shannon MacKenna, the faerie witch, takes over for St Patrick’s Slay Weekend, followed by Spring Fever in April when Vera Blight has the undead swarming the manor. Then, in May, the one I’m really waiting for: Walpurgisnacht, when Maedina, the party witch, takes over and presents… a musical. Yes, a musical haunt. That, I have to see.
For more info on Dark Hour, check out their homepage and their YouTube page for frequently updated content including previews of shows, behind-the-scenes stuff, and comedy bits featuring the creeps from the house.
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