Starring Lynn Csontos, Daren Matheson, Mackenzie Mowat
Directed by Dan Walton and Dan Zachary
I’ll give credit where credit is due – in the middle of a movie that has me at the brink of plucking my own eyes out in order to save myself from any more ocular trauma, and then to reverse itself to finish off in a respectable fashion isn’t always the easiest task to pull off, but Bind should have an asterisk by its name for this specific reason.
Co-directed by Dan Walton and Dan Zachary, the movie brings the viewer up close to an opening scene that will shock (and possibly offend) some more delicate viewers as the unthinkable happens at a little girl’s birthday party – one little lass in particular is possessed by the evil spirit residing in the home where the party is being thrown, and long story short, she uses the cake knife for more than just serving slices to her young attendees. while the action isn’t shown, it’s what’s implied and the aftermath that’s strewn out that makes it unsettling. Okay, so we’re off to a good start – let’s keep this murder train rolling!
As we distance ourselves from the tragic events that happened a short while ago, we’re introduced to a family that has interest in the home where the heinous crime took place – and this is not just any family…no, no, no. This foursome is staggeringly annoying. So let’s meet the vexatious new homeowners, shall we? We’ve got the (interchangeable) patriarch of the family: Ben (Daren Matheson); his doting (and at times, clueless) wife, Carol (Lynn Csontos); the elder daughter, Zoe (Mackenzie Mowat), who’s married to her cell phone, shellacks her eyes with the darkest of goth makeup, and has an attitude towards EVERYONE within a 5 mile-radius that would make her an excellent candidate for a random shove into traffic; and finally the moppet of the clan, darling little Alyssa (Eliza Faria), who only wants some attention, but when she speaks, the tolerance levels shrink to a cellular tier.
Now that the “fam” has been established, let’s delve into this house of horrors that has them so intrigued. For one, the location is absolutely serene, and the price really couldn’t be beat, but someone forgot to mention the evil, possessive, and murderous revenant that resides in the abandoned orphanage. Did I just say abandoned orphanage? Well, it’s a good thing I did because our family in question has obviously lacked the intelligence to sense that something was wrong with all the noises in the night, the moving furniture, and the fact that the big, cuddly dog that wouldn’t hurt a fly refuses to enter the home. While we’re at it, I’d like to take a moment to offer a brief dose of insight to the future horror movie families that have moved into that big ol’ spooky house – when your youngest child stops you on the FIRST DAY of the move into the new digs and tells you there is an old woman in the house that has been looking out the window at her, please don’t chalk it up to an overactive imagination – cancel the sale, PRONTO. This rule also includes the crazy lady who pleads with you not to move in, as your family faces “grave danger.” A lot of trouble can be alleviated with such an action.
That is all…now back to the review.
Upon ignoring all supposable warnings, our dysfunctional foursome moves in anyway and suffers a fate that could be described loosely as “Amityville-ish.” Dad gets overtaken at times by the vengeful spirit (sporting a look reminiscent to a demon from The Gravedancers), tries to beat the tar out of his wife, and performs emergency veterinary surgery (with an axe) on the big old cuddly family dog. Only after said attack (followed by a brief pursuit by Papa with a reciprocating saw) does Mom think it’s a good time to get herself and the kids out of dodge. It turns out that the slimy best friend of the family had an ace up his sleeve when selling the home, but you’ll have to watch the rest of the movie to see what it is. If not for the end of the presentation, which does offer a nice conclusion, this movie would be brought to its knees by a plot that’s been seen way too many times and horrendous acting on all parts.
In conclusion, Bind is one of those films that will tie you up and beat you about the head and shoulders with reckless abandon for an hour and 15 minutes, and that’s the bad part. The good part is that the movie is around an hour and 25 minutes, so salvation isn’t too far off.