What the Hell Happens in 3 From Hell? Let’s Speculate!

As all of us here are more than aware of at this point, writer-director Rob Zombie has just finished shooting his much-anticipated follow-up to House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects titled 3 From Hell. But what else do we know about the film and is it enough to speculate what might be in store for us once the movie hits theaters (or more likely VOD)? I’m not sure if we do… but it’ll be fun to try!

Let’s start off with what we DO know. So far we know the film will feature the return of the remaining Rejects with Bill Moseley as Otis Firefly, Sheri Moon Zombie as Baby Firefly, and Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding. We also know that Danny Trejo will be returning as Rondo from The Devil’s Rejects and Daniel Roebuck will be back in the lime-green saddle once again as Morris Green.

But then we have a seemingly endless cast of new characters Zombie has introduced over the course of shooting on Instagram. Some of these actors have (rumored) character names and some don’t. The actors that currently come with unconfirmed characters names include Clint Howard as Mr. Baggy Britches (another clown), Sylvia Jefferies as Heather Starship Galen, Lucinda Jenney as Nebraska, Bill Oberst Jr.as Tony Commando, Steven Michael Quezada as Diego, Kevin Jackson as Gerard James, Christopher B. Duncan as Glassy Wolf, Tomas Boykin as Derek Zoom, Stacie Greenwell as Janice, Jan Hoag as Betty Lou, and Rob Welsh as Luke.

The actors currently without a name to their game are Dee Wallace, Richard Brake, Dot-Marie Jones, Emilio Rivera, Sean Whalen, Jeff Daniel Phillips, Tom Papa, Austin Stoker, Pancho Moler, David Ury, and Richard Riehle. Most of these names I recognize and some I don’t. Either way, as mentioned above, all of them evidently have no use for a name at the moment. I got all this info from IMDb, by the way. Take that for what you will.

With all of that info out of the way, how’s about we speculate on just what in the Hell (natch) will go down in this new Rob Zombie joint. First off, I think we can all just go ahead and assume that Zombie isn’t making a supernatural film here, so we’ll all just have to buy into the idea that Baby, Otis, and Spaulding survived that hail of gunfire from the finale of The Devil’s Rejects. If that’s how you’re going to play it Rob, whatever, I can deal. Supernatural sequel out of the way, this new film will no doubt begin with our lovable lunatics behind bars. Deep behind bars, I’m guessing.

But they’ll have to break out quick fast and in a hurry, so how does this happen? Well, Zombie does like himself some Charles Manson, so it only makes sense that he may try out a plot that involves a cult of Firefly Family followers. If this is the case then it makes a bit of sense that this Cult of Firefly would break out the Rejects one-by-one. I’m thinking the cult members will be Sylvia Jefferies as Heather Starship Galen, Lucinda Jenney as Nebraska, and Bill Oberst Jr. as Tony Commando. Hell, maybe even Clint Howard’s Mr. Baggy Britches is a super fan of Captain Spaulding. That could make for good times!

Now that we have at least a theory about who Sylvia Jefferies, Lucinda Jenney, Bill Oberst Jr., and Clint Howard might be playing in the film, let’s move on to some other peeps with names. I hate to come across as stereotyping or anything, but let’s assume that Steven Michael Quezada’s Diego is helping out Danny Trejo’s Rondo now that it seems Diamond Dallas Page isn’t onboard this new entry (or is he?). And in keeping with pairing new cast members up with the old let’s say that Kevin Jackson’s Gerard James plays the son of Ken Foree’s Charlie Altamont from The Devil’s Rejects. Jackson’s Gerard James is looking for revenge and lets also say that he has a group of fellow vigilantes in tow played by Christopher B. Duncan as Glassy Wolf, Tomas Boykin as Derek Zoom, Stacie Greenwell as Janice, and Rob Welsh as Luke.

That takes care of the characters with names. Now let’s move onto the ones without names. To continue the thought process above, Emilio Rivera may be a fellow cohort of Trejo’s Rondo and we know that Austin Stoker plays a newscaster. So that’s two down. Jan Hoag’s Betty Lou is probably a lover of Captain Spaulding’s at some point so let’s just go with that and move on. Richard Riehle and Dot-Marie Jones probably play the owners of some business (or RV) that befall the Rejects and/or their cult and Sean Whalen probably plays their dim-witted son. Something tells me that Zombie will then group Tom Papa, Pancho Moler, and David Ury together, and considering Ury and Moler both played crazy killers in Zombie’s 31, I’m betting he switches it up and makes them sweet buffoons this time around. Digging a bit deeper, Zombie always loves a good bit of social commentary in his film via an on-going media fire-storm so expect Papa, Moler, and Ury to be Morris Green’s on-set team. That’s of course if Moler isn’t Clint Howard’s cohort. But I hope it doesn’t go there.

This leaves us without roles for classic scream queen Dee Wallace, Zombie mainstay Jeff Daniel Phillips, and of course Doom-Head himself, Mr. Richard Brake. We’ve already established that a cult will break out the remaining Rejects, but now we need to figure out what happens after that. And this brings me to what the PLOT of 3 From Hell might be… Being that House of 1000 Corpses was about a group of victims trying to elude the Firefly Family, and The Devil’s Rejects was about the Firefly Family eluding the family of their victims, I’m thinking the only fresh place to take 3 From Hell is to pit the Firefly Family against another family of maniacs.

Enter Brake, Wallace, and Phillips.

This will be our new family of notorious killers that have risen up in the decade the Rejects have been behind bars. And neither family likes the other invading their turf. War ensues. But let’s have a bit of fun now with just what kind of killers this new family will be. I’m thinking since Zombie loves to keep religion in his films, and Brake is at his best spitting sinister monologue after sinister monologue, this new family will be super religious a la Kevin Smith’s Red State. Heaven’s Gate vs The Devil’s Rejects you could say. I’m thinking Brake will play a psycho Preacher. Thus giving the man the chance to go on and deliciously on about fire and brimstone and the end of days. Phillips will play his brother. And Wallace will play Mother.

Not to be overly cute, but the irony here is that with Baby, Otis, and Spaulding facing off against Brake, Wallace, and Phillips, the movie will be putting forth the question: “Which group are the REAL 3 From Hell?” Boom. Goodnight. Drops the mic.

Now I don’t know about you, but this sounds like a fucking blast to me. Whether or not Zombie goes this route is, of course, completely up in the air at this point. But, boy, it’s fun to speculate. What do you think of these 3 From Hell theories? Make sure to let us know what you think in the comments below or on Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram!

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