I love haunted houses. Well, haunted attractions. Actual haunted houses can be a real drag, but the fake ones for entertainment purposes are just incredible. We’re in the midst of a kind of renaissance of haunts with the rise of major corporate backing in the form of Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights, Six Flags’ ScareFest, and even movie companies like Warner Bros getting into things with the recent Neibolt House from IT in Hollywood. Extreme haunts are also getting a lot of press as boundaries are crossed and people pay money to be treated like Guantanamo Bay inmates by strangers.
On the exact opposite end of the spectrum from those wacky excursions into torture-for-pay is the story out of Portland, OR. It seems there is a, ahem, “gentleman’s club” up there called Spyce that has created a haunted attraction for the past three years. This year, there’s a theme: the Playboy Mansion, a theme created prior to the passing of Hef.
Dick Hefner’s Haunted Strip Club Mansion is the title of this year’s show and it promises to be exactly what you think it would be. And maybe just a bit more.
Per the Williamette Weekly, local entertainment mogul DJ Dick Hennessy is starring himself as Dick Hefner. “The theme is that I’m Dick Hefner, and I obviously have a mansion and a bunch lovely young ladies in the mansion. I’ve lived a long, fruitful life, and I suffer a heart attack and die unexpectedly during an intercourse session with a young lady.” The playmates freak out, and some attempt a ouija board session to contact Dick’s spirit. “While they do that dance, they inadvertently open a portal to Hell, where demons and things from Hell overrun the mansion and take over. That’s essentially where the haunted house begins.”
We can only assume this trip through the now-possessed mansion will be a trite and serious morality tale similar to the various church-run “hell house” haunts across the country.
Oh who am I kidding, it’s going to be wall-to-wall tits and gore. As God intended.
How much are flights to Portland from Dallas? Anyone know?
A trailer for the show is below. It runs nightly from October 25th-31st. Tickets are $15, $25 for VIP, and are available at the Spyce website.