10 Horror Movies That Really Do Deserve a Remake
Matt Molgaard
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There are a massive amount of genre fanatics who simply cannot stand remakes. I get it – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, as they say. We should leave all the treasures of old just as they’ve always been, respected and frequently returned. Honored but never smothered. One-offs.
No remakes, no random prequels, no re-imaginings, no reboots – that’s how a classic film should be honored, not by attempting to remake it with a shitload of CGI and pretty faces. It takes more than that to put together a sublime piece of film.
Throughout history, however, we’ve clearly seen a barrage of pictures that fell just short of “special.” A number of these films didn’t necessarily have to come up short of elite status. Some adjustments and crew rearrangements could have certainly saved more than one picture.
Today we bring you a look at 10 horror films that failed to wow viewers upon arrival… but they sure didn’t have to fail. They could have been excellent. And now that the record books are all in place, those films won’t see any sort of adjustments. But they could see remakes done the right way.
The Mangler: Okay, so the idea of a murderous folding machine seems like a tough sell, but you know what? Stephen King sold the shit out of this story! If King can make it work on page, it’s hard to imagine a top-notch filmmaker failing to do the same on screen. Tobe Hooper is great and all, but he always felt like a strange fit for this flick, which, for the record, never even begins to work.
I’m a big Robert Englund fan, but he was terribly miscast in the role of Bill Gartley. I see someone like Gene Hackman slaughtering this role, and someone like James Wan working magic behind the camera. It’s a long shot, but I do dare say that I believe a remake of The Mangler could be a decidedly creepy and successful film.
Shocker: Oh, Wes, you were an amazing, amazing filmmaker who delivered some of the sharpest horror we’ve ever seen. You did your fans proud, and you built a loyal fan base that likely would have jumped to their death in your honor. But none of that can rewind time and save Craven’s sketchy Shocker. What’s wild about this particular piece is that it functioned on a terrific premise.
The idea of a murderous lunatic being able to transport through electronics to continue on in his homicidal ways was fascinating (especially in 1989), but the execution was all wrong. Shocker was designed to successfully inject humor in the script, and I wouldn’t want to see that changed in the least bit; however, the film just wasn’t dark enough, and there are far too many characters throwing around laughably bad dialogue. Shocker, with a stronger screenwriter, a savvy, contemporary director, and a number of established supporting performers, could see this piece elevated to a mind-boggling degree. Shocker in 2016 could potentially be a smash hit.
Dreamcatcher: Stephen King’s novel of the same name was excellent. Some may say it’s one of the last truly great novels the man has written. That’s a debate for another day, but it is relevant when you sit back and take a look at the film itself. Lawrence Kasdan did a decent job with the film, but between the absurd CGI aliens and a few questionable casting calls, the movie underwhelmed in a major way. The thing is, that story could easily give way to a brilliant film, loaded with visceral shocks and compelling performances. But something – other than the already discussed issues – was definitely missing. That something was something special, and as a result, without that magical “it” factor, the final product was viewed as a decent – at best – film that according to fans – unanimously – failed to do King’s novel justice. This one isn’t very old, and a remake may be a bit premature, but I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t like to see this one done right. Where’s Frank Darabont when you need him?
