14 Films that Prove Revenge is a Dish Best Served Awesome
Ted Hentschke
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10) Unfriended (2014):
Here’s a promise: if you film me shitting my pants and upload it to YouTube, I will come back and haunt the fuck out of you. If you want to talk about minimalist narrative structures, you can’t do much better than Unfriended. Sure, it’s a gimmick. That doesn’t mean the gimmick doesn’t work. Six friends are forced to watch each other die as a malevolent spirit slowly needles the truth from them. If you’re put off by Skype being the medium, just imagine they’re all tied to chairs.
9) Darkman (1990):
I’m always so sad when I keep hearing that people haven’t seen Darkman. If you haven’t seen it, let me tell you what you’re missing. In a time before superhero movies were guaranteed hits, Sam Raimi brought his own to life. His name is Darkman, and he’s out to get the guys who turned his face into swiss cheese. Once a promising scientist, Dr. Peyton Westlake was attacked in his lab by a group of thugs looking for his girlfriend. Burning his hands, dipping him in acid, and blowing up his lab, they left him for dead. Disfigured but still alive, Westlake undergoes a surgery that renders him unable to feel any physical sensation, painful or pleasurable. Rebuilding his lab in secret, he resumes his work: a realistic synthetic skin that can last only 99 minutes in light. He learns how to talk and act like anyone, and with the power of the skin can blend in for a limited time. There’s just one problem… the experience has driven him insane. Now come on, can you honestly tell me that isn’t a guy you’d love to see kick some ass?!?!
8) Friday the 13th (1980):
In the modern zeitgeist, Jason Voorhees has taught us not to fuck at any summer camp ever. And rightly so. He’s been slashing his way through horny teens for 11 movies. But remember, it was his mother who started it all. Back in 1980, it was Pamela Voorhees who started all of this teen-slaying. Angered by her son’s death due to the neglect of horny camp counselors, she vowed that no one would get their dick wet at Camp Crystal Lake on her watch. The series became a cultural icon, and rightly so. If any killer deserves his spot at the top, it’s Jason. Let’s not forget his darling mother, who started this all with her misguided quest for justice for her homicidal son.
7) Altered (2006):
Wow, did this little film ever take me by surprise. This was one of those, “been on my Netflix queue forever” films. I watched it one day more out of boredom than anything, and holy shit was I surprised. This has to go up there with Afflicted and They’re Watching on a future list of movies I did not expect to love. This is one of those you just have to watch, but here’s the premise. After being abducted and tortured by aliens as kids, a group of friends decide to get revenge. By abducting and torturing an alien. Yes. You read that right. They abduct and experiment on an alien. This is one of those simple yet genius ideas that for some reason no one else ever thought of. The premise alone is enough to warrant a watch.
6) The Skin I Live In (2011):
God this is where the list really starts getting hard to order. This is a film I’d love to rate higher, if not for all of the great competition. Including the five films above this one, I do not think you will ever find a story more fucked up. This film will disturb you. You will not see the twist coming, and it will disgust you. I’ve been told by some contemporaries that this isn’t horror, and I firmly disagree. I do not see how anyone could watch this film and not be horrified.
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