Best Kills: The PREDATOR Films (Including the AvP Ones)
Mike Sprague
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Later this year we will see the release of Shane Black and Fred Dekker’s much-anticipated take on The Predator with their new reboot. The film promises to be a return to the epic alien-hunter action that delighted all of us as kids when we grooved to the carnage presented in director John McTiernan’s original classic starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I’m excited as hell to check out Black and Dekker’s new film and I’m sure you are too. So it is with this in mind all of us here at Dread Central thought this would be nothing short of the perfect time to revisit the other films in the series and pay homage to the best kills.
This list will cover not only the original Predator films, such as Predator and Predator 2, but also the newer installment Predators, and let’s not forget the (mostly deplorable) mash-up flicks AVP: Alien vs Predator and AVP:R Aliens vs Predator.
Personally, I’m glad I got saddled with this list. Looking back on this particular sci-fi action-horror franchise is something I always welcome the chance to do. Most of the films are pretty great, some are downright terrible. But all of them (for the most part) feature some knock-out kills and, in the end, what more could we ask for?
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Aliens vs Predator: Requiem – Kidburster
Let’s start at the very end, shall we? The last time we saw the Predator kick ass and take names on screen was The Strause Brothers’ horrible follow-up to the (somehow) even worse AVP: Alien vs Predator. This second try at getting the formula right was an utter waste of time in most regards. But that said, the film does boast a ton of cool kills. The top in my eyes is the rather surprising death of a kid right off the bat with a chest burster ending his short life in spectacularly gory fashion. Too bad this set the film up to be infinitely better than it was. Urgh, what a waste.
AVP: Alien vs Predator
I was just going to skip past this crapfest. True story. But then I thought of one kill from the film that did delight the horror fanboy in me. The kill comes when one of the faceless, useless human characters in the film has a chestburster, you know, burst out of his chest. Like all of the other over-the-top choices director, Paul W.S. Anderson made with this film, the baby-Alien in question comes shooting out of said chest and through the air like a godddamn missile (thank God THAT didn’t happen in the Nostromo). But all is good as there is a Predator there to catch the little sumbitch in mid-air. And here the movie dares to answer one of the major questions all of Predator fans have had for decades now: Will the Predator kill a baby – even if it’s an Alien? I’m intrigu– Oh, yep, he did. And without hesitation. Good to know.
Predators – Goggins Gets It
Nimrod Antal’s third entry in the Predator series, appropriately title Predators, is yet another misstep in the franchise. Not a huge one, by any means, but overall it was just not my cup-o-lime green blood. But that said, like the above-mentioned Aliens vs Predator: Requiem, this film boasts some top-notch kills. My favorite of the bunch goes to the death of Walton Goggins. Here we finally see in full detail a famous Predator kill that has only been hinted at in previous entries: the spinal cord rip out. Sure we saw Billy get the same treatment in the original film, but this time the filmmakers choose to show us all the goods in close-up. The Billy kill may still be a better cinematic kill overall, but this new take on the infamous slaughter is a great moment from an admittedly mediocre film.
Predator 2 – Net Kill
I don’t know about you, but I have a big spot of love for Stephen Hopkins’ Predator 2 deep in my bones. It was one of the first horror-sci-fi flicks I ever saw (along with the original film and John Carpenter’s The Thing) and as little as the film holds up nowadays, I still love it for all it’s bad early-90’s CG and all. And let’s not forget, the film features some of the best kills in the franchise. For instance, this classic kill contained in the city-set sequel where the Predator throws an all-new weapon at a gangster invading a Penthouse. This new weapon of mini-destruction opens up into a net that pins the poor dreadlocked soul to the wall… before slowly slicing through him. Pieces fall to the floor and 10-year-old Mike cheered like it was one of those sports games the other kids were playing back then. Hell yeah, Predator 2.
Predator 2 – Screaming Head
On top of the Net-Kill detailed above, Predator 2 also boasts one of the funniest (at least to my dark sensibilities) kills in the entire series. Here a dual samurai sword-wielding voodoo priest feels the need to go toe-to-toe with the dreaded alien hunter himself. The stage is set, the swords come out, and then we… cut to the man’s face screaming? What a rip-off! Oh, wait, the camera then pulls back and reveals that the Predator has ALREADY dispatched of the man – quick fast and in a hurry – and is now pimp-walking away into the city-smoke like Jason at the end of Freddy vs Jason. Predator didn’t even give the man time to finish his scream before he removed his overly-confident head. Classic.
Predator 2 – BvB: Busey vs Boomerang
Poor crazy Gary Busey. Before the man took a wrong turn on his motorcycle back in the day, he was a welcomed addition to many classic 80’s/90’s action movies such as Point Break and, of course, Predator 2. And the man at least was given one hell of a send-off with this film as Predator’s boomerang of meat-cutting doom is a sight to behold. To set the scene, Big Busey has trapped the Predator in a meat locker and is all ready to blow the alien asshole back into space when the Predator reveals his space-o-rang. Predator throws the meat-o-rang in Busey’s waist’s direction and it travels (in early 90’s CG slow motion) through a series of beef racks, cutting them in half as it goes, before finally finding Busey’s ass on the other end and splattering it to kingdom come. This is one of the coolest deaths ever in a Predator film. And that’s saying something.
Predator – I Ain’t Got Time to Bleed
Go figure that the original film has the most entries in our best kills list. John McTiernan’s Predator is an utter classic and started it all. Not only that, but the film is a genuine thrill-ride on its own, regardless of the legacy it created in the process. And one of the best kills contained within… is actually kind of a cheat on my part. Let me explain. This is actually a prelude to a kill. But it is one of the most classic moments from one of the best sci-fi action movies of all time, so all’s fair in love and Jesse the Body Ventura if you ask me. And speaking of Governor Ventura, this entry is all about his most famous line. To set the scene, a full-on war is going down out in the jungles, and Ventura stands, uncaring in the middle of it. Then Poncho rushes up to The Body and tells him, “You’re bleeding!” To which Ventura says, “I ain’t got time to bleed.” I’m pretty sure when I first heard that line my eardrums grew beards. Thanks, Predator.
Predator – Blain’s Heart
And while we’re on the subject of Jesse The Body Ventura, let’s take a moment to reflect on his own classic kill at the hands – or more specifically, the ass-blasting laser cannon – Predator has strapped to his shoulder. The kill got me as a kid and it still delights me in a morbid way to this day. Is it the man’s heart exploding out of his chest, the sight of such a worthy opponent so easily dispatched by the Predator, or just the sheer swiftness of the kill that makes it so great? I’m not sure. But something tells me the answer is all of the above.
Predator – Stick Around
For those who might not know the first thing about me, let me begin with the most important aspect of my personality: I hate puns. Hate ’em. Unless of course, they come from one of the Nightmare on Elm Street sequels, or an 80’s action movie. In that case, I giggle like a toddler in a highchair time and time again. And one of my favorite 80’s action movie puns comes to us courtesy of Mr. Schwarzenegger himself in the original Predator. Dutch throws a huge-gantic knife all willy-nilly over his shoulder, pinning a Guerilla to a post like Blam! He then turns, smirks, and tells the dead dude to “Sick around.” Moo-Hahahahaha.
Predator – Dillon’s arm
Dillon, you son of a bitch. Poor Happy Gilmore’s mentor. Poor Apollo Creed. In John McTiernan’s original Predator film, Carl Weathers (arguably) gets it the worst. Not only does he have his arm shot off by the main alien assassin but he then gets a gut full of alien steel right up the belly button. I can remember this being my favorite Predator kill growing up as it took me by surprise how prolonged the sequence was. Especially considering Predator was all about pulling off his carnage in a swift and timely manner, like in the above-mentioned entry. But Dillon wasn’t as easy to kill. And that should be the only credit Carl Weathers needs on his IMDb page.
Predator – Predator laugh
This creepy shit haunted my nightmares for a while as a kid. Once the Predator realizes that it’s “Game over, man” for him, he sents into motion a wrist-bomb that will blow up a good square block of the jungle. To make matters worse for sole-survivor Schwarzenegger, the alien has picked up the ability to mimic human voices. And in classic asshole-alien fashion, Predator chooses this exact moment as the perfect time to showcase his ability to do a killer impression of Billy… or more specifically Billy’s laugh. So as Arnold runs for his life through the dark jungle after a night of exhausting alien-ass beating, he is only accompanied by the maniacal laugh of a fallen (psychotic) comrade. This Predator suicide-kill is the single scariest moment in the entire series. Fitting.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KU1aCT3sbxc
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