Reviewed by Uncle Creepy
Starring Lisa Schrage, Vincent Gale, Michael Ironside, Justin Louis, Wendy Lyon
Directed by Bruce Pittman
Distributed by MGM/Fox Home Entertainment
Sometimes a movie is so painfully bad, so cheesy, so ludicrous, you just have to love it. Such is the case with Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II. Even the title is horrendous! Yet, something about it is strangely intriguing. Those looking for a true sequel to 1980’s Jamie Lee Curtis vehicle will be sorely disappointed. This here’s a sequel in name only, and dare I say it … it’s actually better than the original in just about every conceivable way!
The movie opens with a steamer trunk popping open to tell us a fiery tale. Yep, this furniture can spin quite the yarn! The year is 1957 and school whore and all-around nogoodnik Mary Lou Maloney (Schrage) is about to be crowned Prom Queen of Hamilton High. Too bad for her she decided to jilt her boyfriend that night in favor of a more macho drunkard. The poor guy was heartbroken. What could he do? Simple! Hide in the rafters and as Mary Lou accepts her reign drop a flaming stink-bomb on her! Of course she goes up like a torch and the prom is ruined. The aforementioned trunk then closes, and we find ourselves back at Hamilton High about thirty years later. Mary Lou’s ex (Ironside) is now the school principal and her fling has become a priest. Seeing your babe burned to death can make you seek religion.
From there we’re introduced to Vicki (Lyon) and her boyfriend and son of the former deadly stink-bomb wielding principle, Craig (Louis). Everything’s peachy for our twosome until Mary Lou’s vengeful spirit escapes from that pesky trunk to possess Vicki so that she can take her ultimate revenge on prom night. What ensues is a cornucopia of silly cheese that comes in the form of living chalkboards, giant spider webs, and horny rocking horses! I shit you not.
How can you not dig on the absurdity of it all? This movie is good (and bad) on levels rarely seen. Riddled with awful dialogue, laughable F/X, and Michael Ironside’s perma-scowl, this is an enigma of entertaining stupidity that’s perfect for calling friends over to kill time on a Friday night while armed with the appropriate mountain of booze and other party favors of your choice!
There are no DVD features to be found here at all, and while that’s a bit of a disappointment, at least the film is finally available! That’s right, kids, you can throw away your old VHS tapes, bootlegs, and even the horrid full screen Canadian DVD. Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II is presented here in widescreen and with a new two-channel surround (you expected 5.1?) stereo mix so that you’re guaranteed not to miss a single groan, squeal, or scream!
Nevermind the original. Just fast forward that one to Curtis’ mind numbing laugh-out-loud disco dance routine! And screw the jump-scare-a-thon Prom Night remake (review here); you won’t be getting any real action out of that. For a good time call Mary Lou! She’s a really hot babe that doesn’t disappoint!
3 out of 5
0 out of 5
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