Peelers (2016)

PeelersStarring Wren Walker, Caz Odin Darko, Madison J. Loos

Directed by Seve Schelenz


In the annals of zombie history, you’ve gotta admit, those rotting flesh-chewers have literally infested and overrun every conceivable landscape, business, or seedy corner of the planet. There’s no escape from them, and while the idea of zombies raising hell inside a strip club isn’t exactly the freshest idea to come down the pipeline, Seve Schelenz’s Peelers is a pretty damn fun trip. So get your butts to the ATM, change those bills over to dollars and grab a stool by the stage, cause it’s time to make it rain.

First off, the fact that I’m not going to overwhelm you all with details should give you a little lay of the land when it comes to this movie – as I said, there’s nothing groundbreaking here, but it’s the fun in the visuals that makes this watch a good time. Blue Jean Douglas (Walker) is the proprietor of a grubby titty bar on the outskirts of town, and aside from her past (successes?) as a former ballplayer, THIS is now her bread and butter…and needless to say, the condiment tray has run dry. With an impending closing looming, Blue Jean decides it’s best for business to sell it off to a sucker and blow out of town. Now, if things went that easily, we wouldn’t have ourselves much of a grungy little flick, now would we? So here we are, the last night of operation…the bar is open, the beer is stale, the air smoky, and the boobs are…well, bountiful to say the least. In through the doors come a small band of sooty, soiled and ultimately disease-spreading coal miners that act as the catalyst for a full-blown undead infiltration in this tiny lap-dance nirvana.

So there ya have it – as much as I’m going to give off, so watch and take it all in. Plenty of blood, guts, bodily fluids, humor, and nuditorious actions to go around (just made that last one up, if ya couldn’t tell). Schelenz throws tons of gross-out actions on display for the audience, and aside from the normal nonsensical hokeyness that usually resides within one of these films, I’ve got to admit, I was entertained from start to finish. With screenings currently scheduled in Florida, Iowa, Texas and Oregon, there will be plenty of intestinal extractions to go around, but please, stay out of the restroom and for god’s sake, wash your hands after touching ANYTHING in this place.

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Matt Boiselle

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