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Canyon, The (DVD)

The Canyon on DVDReviewed by Uncle Creepy

Starring Yvonne Strahovski, Will Patton, Eion Bailey

Directed by Richard Harrah

Distributed by Magnet Home Entertainment


Americans? We’re stupid. We always do stupid things that get us killed. We never learn. We never listen. Most of all we never employ logic. Such is the case with Richard Harrah’s very formulaic survival thriller The Canyon.

We meet our very likable newlyweds, played to the nines by Yvonne Strahovski and Eion Bailey, just as they’re about to get a permit to take a trip through the Grand Canyon for their honeymoon. There’s just one problem — they didn’t reserve the trip and there’s a huge waiting list. Who knew? While drowning their sorrows at a local watering hole, they run into an experienced Canyon man (Patton) who tells them he knows how to get them a permit and would be happy to guide them himself. Red flag number one — completely ignored.

After a bit of back-and-forth between our couple, of course they end up taking him up on his offer, and before you know it, they’re wading their way through some very dangerous terrain. In the interest of not giving away too much (as if you haven’t already seen this movie a hundred times by now), things go from bad to deadly, and our party ends up lost and fending off really hungry packs of wolves.

The Canyon on DVDTruth be told, everything was moving along nicely for the first half of the film. But then it happened. We go from an intelligent little thriller to a dumbed-down version of Open Water in a dusty hole. Our couple doesn’t just make bad choices at even worse times. No, through the power of bad writing they do some of the most infuriatingly ridiculous stuff you could ever imagine. It’s damned near insulting. Things spiral downward from there until we get to the end, whose exact twist we all saw in another film from early 2008, the only difference being in that film it was shocking. Here it comes off as paper thin and annoying.

The only things that come close to selling this flick are the acting and the locations, both of which are explored through the DVD’s cookie-cutter featurettes and other special features. Yep, there’s really nothing to see here at all, folks. Just move along and pretend you didn’t just spend the last 102 minutes watching this predictable ride through the seas of mediocrity.

Somewhere within The Canyon there’s a good movie. Ironically enough it’s just as lost as the film’s protagonists. Avoid the aggravation. You’ll thank me later.

Special Features

  • Discovering The Canyon featurette
  • Behind-the-scenes montage
  • Yvonne Strahovski casting session
  • Deleted scenes

    Film:

    2 1/2 out of 5

    Special Features:

    2 out of 5

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    • The Woman In Black

      UC really nailed it in his review. The whole time we were watching, we kept going, please don’t do that … please don’t act so stupid … please let this turn out differently than we *knew* it was going to. Alas, the beautiful scenery and terrific acting just couldn’t save this flick from its unimaginative script. A pity, too, because everyone involved, especially Patton and Strahovski, really gave their all. Even so, I definitely am curious to see what director Harrah does next.

    Steve Barton

    You're such an inspiration for the ways that I will never, ever choose to be.