Guillermo del Toro Says The Shape of Water Sex Toy is Not Accurate - Dread Central
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Guillermo del Toro Says The Shape of Water Sex Toy is Not Accurate

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As you’ve probably heard by now, XenoCat Artifacts have released an unofficial sex toy modeled after the aquatic creature played by Doug Jones in Guillermo del Toro’s masterpiece The Shape of Water. The product, which has been dubbed ‘The Jewel of the Amazon’, was clearly a huge success, as it sold out in less than twenty minutes, and I don’t want to think about what the buyers must be doing with them. Anyway, you can learn more about the, um, dildo in an interview with the creators here.

However, del Toro has made it clear that he’s not a fan of the rather naughty piece of merchandise. Speaking to The Wrap, he said that the toy, which depicts the creature’s manhood, was not an accurate depiction of how its genitalia would actually look. He was quoted as saying the following:

“I don’t think it’s an accurate representation. It’s some form of fan art… I guess.”

Seeing as del Toro designed the creature, he has the final say over how its manly parts look. So if he says the dildo’s incorrect, it’s incorrect.

Jones was also not particularly fond of the sex toy, saying:

“After pouring my heart, soul, blood, sweat, and tears into this romantic, beautiful, magical role, the last thing I want to be remembered for is a silicone appendage that comes in two sizes.”

We hear you, Doug. And don’t worry, people will be praising your performance in The Shape of Water for years to come.

So I guess the moral of this story is that you shouldn’t create a sex toy modeled after an amphibious creature’s private parts without first consulting an expert.

Anyway, The Shape of Water also stars Sally Hawkins, Michael Shannon, Richard Jenkins, Michael Stuhlbarg, and Octavia Spencer. We loved the film in our review, and it’s also picked up thirteen Oscar nominations in addition to earning a current worldwide total of $75 million. Despite all its success, we’ll probably never truly know what the creature’s penis really looks like. And maybe that’s a good thing.

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Amy Adams and HBO’s SHARP OBJECTS Poster Welcomes You Home

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A few weeks back I asked the question Is HBO’s Sharp Objects Mini-Series With Amy Adams Horror?” I got some interesting responses but needless to say, at the end of the day, the question is still up the air. But regardless of all that, I still plan on checking out the series one it begins airing this summer.

And if you’re on this boat with me, then you’ll be interested to check out the new poster for the series, which you can see in high-res by clicking on the thumbnail to the right.

Are you looking forward to this series as much as I am? Make sure to hit us up and let us know in the comments below or on FacebookTwitter, and/or Instagram!

The eight-episode series is directed by Jean-Marc Vallee, scripted by Marti Noxon from the book by Gillian Flynn, and stars Amy Adams, Patricia Clarkson, Chris Messina, Eliza Scanlon, Elizabeth Perkins and Matt Craven. It hits HBO in July 2018.

Synopsis:

Based on the book by The New York Times bestselling author Gillian Flynn (Gone Girl, Dark Places), this eight-episode series tells the story of reporter Camille Preaker (Adams) who returns to her small hometown to cover the murders of two preteen girls. Trying to put together a psychological puzzle from her past, she finds herself identifying with the young victims a bit too closely.

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Wrestling Horror Film PARTS UNKNOWN Gets A Grindhouse Trailer

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If you’re not bothered by the sight of maggot-infested corpses, you might be interested in checking out the trailer for Parts Unknown, the new grindhouse-style horror movie from writer and director Richard Chandler (Legless, Scrooge in the Hood, Witch Hunt). As you’ll notice, the trailer is heavy on three things: wrestling, horror, and neon.

In the film, a family of professional wrestlers grow tired of putting their bodies on the line, and decide to seek out a new way to satisfy their bloodlust. It stars Jake Roberts, James Balsamo, Jack Caron, Ken Holmes, James Balsamo, Georgia Rose Matlack, Gary Lee Vincent, and William DeCoff.

Parts Unknown will have its world premiere on June 9 at the Capitol Theater Building in Arlington, Massachusetts. If you’re in the area, you can get your tickets here. There will be two screenings on the day, one at 7pm and the other at 9:30pm, so make sure you book accordingly.

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WE HAPPY FEW Banned In Australia

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We Happy Few is the latest game to have fallen victim to the Australian ratings board, as it’s been refused classification in the country. Kotaku got hold of the Classification Board’s report on the game, which states that the ban was due to a drug named Joy, which the player needs to take in order to progress. The rating was refused in accordance with section 1A of the National Classification Code, Computer Games Table, which categories games which are said to do the following:

“Depict, express or otherwise deal with matters of sex, drug misuse or addiction, crime, cruelty, violence or revolting or abhorrent phenomena in such a way that they offend against the standards of morality, decency and propriety generally accepted by reasonable adults to the extent that they should not be classified.”

The Australian Classification Board are particularity touchy when it comes to drugs, as the originally banned Fallout 3 for the same reason, so we’re not too surprised that they lost their shit over We Happy Few. Either way, we can expect Gearbox to appeal the decision in the coming weeks, so watch this space.

Developed by Compulsion Games, We Happy Few is a dystopian survival horror set an alternate version of 1964. It will feature three playable character, one of who, ironically, censors newspapers for a living. From what we’ve seen so far, it looks like one of the most unique major releases in a long time, so we’ll just have to wait until it releases later this year to see if it lives up to the hype. Unless if you live in Australia, in which case you’ll just have to make do with FIFA 18.

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