CORBIN NASH Review – Vampire-Hunting With The Strong Arm Of The Law
Matt Boiselle
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Starring Corey Feldman, Dean Jagger, Fernanda Romero
Directed by Ben Jagger
Director Ben Jagger’s vampire-hunting presentation Corbin Nash is one of those films that you watch, then wonder what you’ve watched…perhaps watch again, then wonder why you donated all that time to something that was as subtle as a train wreck, and as stimulating as a kick in the yambag – let’s swap out plasma bags and see if we can make sense of this rolling fiasco, shall we?
Jagger’s brother Dean leads the fray here as vampire slayer/cop-with-an-attitude Corbin Nash, and a recent string of bloodsucker-motivated murders leads him directly into the pathway of one of the more (ahem) “disturbing” performances that I’ve seen in some time: Corey Feldman dons heavy in drag-attire to play Queeny, a vampire with a serious love for the crimson, as well as pairing his makeup and hair for a night on the town – believe me when I tell you, cringe-worthy is probably one of the more understated declarations I could ever make about a character, but fitting indeed. Anyhoo, turns out that Queeny and his lovebird Vince (Richard Wagner) have been on the prowl, hunting down and “recruiting” locals for their ever-increasing horde. Industry bad-ass Rutger Hauer makes an appearance as a mysterious soul who approaches Nash one evening and proceeds to rattle off a story about demons and angels, and the fact that he knew Nash’s long-deceased parents – oddly enough, this mumbo-jumbo is just the ammo Nash needs to zip on over to the West Coast and do a little ass-kicking, all in the name of protecting the human race…how knightly.
Throw in Malcolm McDowell as ANOTHER mysterious fellow whose visual impairment is no match for his cryptic babblings – he acts as a narrator of sorts, and while I love the guy in generally all that he’s done, this performance borders on straight-out corny…cob and all. The action comes in ebbs and flows, but it’s the downtime that acts as the killer here – some hyped-up bare-knuckled beatdowns are followed by lulls that would aid any fussy infant in drifting off to slumber-land. Not a damning factor as you’d more than likely need to break things up here and there, but in the grand scheme of things the mixture of hot and cold tempo just doesn’t fit the bill for this framework.
This is like a poor-man’s Blade, and if you can forgive all of that (plus some of the performances), you very well might dig this flick…but for this cat, this creature of the night needs to take a longer-than-long dirt nap and skip the next sun-down to refresh itself.
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Film
Summary
Vampires, cops and Corey in drag – if this doesn’t hit you in the gills as a frightening concoction, boy are you in for a shock.
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