Blood Forest (2010)
Reviewed by The Foywonder
Starring John Paul Gates, Stephen P. Sides, John “Arkansas” Davis, Matt Rivera, Michael Brabender
Directed by Bill Barton
Many similar films back in the Seventies successfully integrated Sasquatch shenanigans with small town Southern slice of life flavoring, but Blood Forest is not Legend of Boggy Creek or Creature from Black Lake. Blood Forest is not even as entertainingly bad as the astounding awful Curse of Bigfoot. Blood Forest is simply an uninteresting film shot with the look of a competent amateur movie. Unless you’re a big fan of tranquil Arkansas woodland scenery, there is nothing to see here – not even a Bigfoot.
Not even a Bigfoot. People get mauled by something we never see that we are told is a Bigfoot creature. An artistic decision on the part of the filmmakers or a necessity due to the complete lack of budget that did not allow for a Bigfoot costume? Whatever the reason, it only further diminishes the entertainment value of a film already sorely lacking in that department. Zero suspense as to when this unseen assailant is going to strike due to the director announcing every kill with the sound of a pounding heartbeat. Maybe the killer was actually David DeCoteau.
Bigfoot talk.
Native American legend talk.
More Bigfoot talk.
More Native American legend talk.
Even more Bigfoot talk.
A hard luck British journalist investigating Arkansas Sasquatch sightings.
Awkwardly acted testimonials from townspeople recalling their boring Bigfoot anecdotes.
A shady land deal.
A less-than-friendly sheriff.
An uncooperative Native American.
Husky rednecks stomping about the woods in search of Sasquatch.
Plenty of accents but no characterizations.
A number of scenes of the Brit lounging about in his motel room not doing anything whatsoever or engaging in a telephone conversations that is not always clearly audible to the viewer.
Not much of a movie here.
I conclude this review with a quote from one of the local citizens explaining why he believes in the existence of Bigfoot:
“I mean, if our government can spend the billions of dollars they have looking for Osama Bin Laden and not find him, what makes us think we can find something that does exist out in the woods that doesn’t want to be found?”
Good sound reasoned logic there. That quote alone has already helped me decide whom I will vote for in the next Presidential election. The first candidate to vow to spend billions of federal dollars scouring the American wilderness for Sasquatch gets the Foy vote, and the first Tea Party protester that complains about it being a waste of taxpayer money gets a Foy fist upside their melon.
1 out of 5
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