One Eyed Monster (DVD)
Reviewed by Morgan Elektra
Starring Ron Jeremy, Amber Benson, Veronica Hart, Jason Graham
Directed by Adam Fields
Distributed by Liberation Entertainment
Let’s be honest – as soon as you see a horror movie called One Eyed Monster starring Ron Jeremy, you’re making an assumption about it. I know I did. Here’s what I figured: The production values would be fairly low, the acting would be pretty wooden, the premise would be completely ludicrous, and the movie would be over-the-top … most likely laugh out loud funny and probably ridiculously gory as well. Oh, and there would be a big hard cock in it.
A big hard cock there is, but you might as well check the rest of your preconceived notions at the door. One Eyed Monster is the story of an adult film crew that heads into the mountains of California to shoot a skin flick. They get trapped on the mountain during a snowstorm and are menaced by Ron Jeremy’s disembodied cock, which has been taken over by an alien life form in a plan to impregnate the world’s women with its ET seed. Jeremy plays himself, as does porn star Veronica Hart, and porn starlet Carmen Hart plays a small role as Angel, the killer cock’s first victim. While both Ron and Veronica are at times slightly awkward, they both turn in decent (and at times amazingly touching) performances. Carmen’s role is brief, but memorable, her most notable scene being one where she practices her “lines” and has to check the script because she can’t remember what comes after “Fuck me!” (It’s “harder”, of course. Silly porn star!) We also get treated to “Buffy” alum Amber Benson playing make-up girl Laura, who’s infatuated with Ron. Benson is at her shy and sweet best in this somewhat unexpected role.
The decent production values and the above par acting on all parts isn’t really the big surprise, however. The big surprise is that a film about a rampaging killer dick wiping out the cast and crew of a hardcore fuck film by pummeling them in various orifices is played sort of … dare I say it … seriously. Don’t get me wrong; the laughs are pretty plentiful. But is clear director Adam Fields and his writing partner brothers, Jordan and Scott, wanted to do more than just throw out some eye-rolling gross-out, lowbrow horror comedy. These guys put thought into it and share an obvious love for the genre, and the result is highly entertaining.
One Eyed Monster delivers multiple gooey, love filled homages to horror. I recognized riffs on Alien, Aliens, Jaws, and The Thing to name a few. And unlike some recent horror comedy spoofs which shall remain nameless (*cough* Scary Movie franchise *cough*), they don’t just snatch scenes directly from those films out of context of their own story for cheap laughs. For instance, there’s a scene that looks nearly identical to the scene in Jaws when Quint gives his famous monologue, but the story told by mountain recluse Mohtz (Charles Napier) is nearly as epic, and the entire scene is played with a straight face despite the fact his story climaxes with a spent alien member being blown to bits. (Sorry, but I can’t seem to avoid the double entendres even if I try.)
Neither the gore nor the sex is over-the-top. In fact, there’s fairly little gore at all so don’t go into this expecting a blood bath. And, much like the xenomorphs in the first Alien, you only get a few brief glimpses of the menacing member. Like I said before, Fields isn’t playing just for the gross-out gags or dumb laughs. And while it may seem like making a horror comedy about an alien penis that takes itself kind of seriously is the epitome of an oxymoronic idea, it plays really well.
And there really isn’t much more to say about it … except that if you give One Eyed Monster a chance, it’ll show you a good time.
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