Sharai Bohannon’s Cute And Creepy Horror Gift Guide
Receiving gifts is one of the few things I’m good at. Looking at things I shouldn’t spend money on is another. So, of course, an article where I can combine windowshopping and telling people what I need to feel alive again in 2023 is right up my alley. I don’t know most of you well enough for you to feel obligated to get me anything. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t help you shop for your weird little horror nerd friend that reminds you of me. That’s right! By telling the masses what I want for the holiday season, I am giving some of you the greatest gift of all. That’s called growth.
A Good Guy Doll (Chucky)
I have wanted my own Good Guy Doll since I was a small child. If I get one, I will carry my friend to the end with me everywhere. We’ll pull up to brunch together. We will run all my errands together. Chucky will be my one carry-on when I travel. I will eventually find his Tiffany and G.G. to have family dinners. Needless to say, this is the gift that would also become my personality.
Fan Expo New Orleans
One of my goals next year is to find a way to make it to more cons and festivals. What better way than to start that off in New Orleans in January? Picture me in my TARDIS cardigan crying at my favs who have the misfortune of being in attendance. Also, New Orleans is a good time, even if I only do princess spins near the booths where I cannot afford to get things signed. Some guests I’m immediately freaking out about are Giancarlo Esposito, Christina Ricci, Eduardo Franco, and Joseph Quinn.
Freddy Krueger’s Sweater
Petty Freddy is the reason I am the way I am. I have always wanted this sweater and will continue to ask for it. It is a warm and comfy nod to one of the franchises that made me. Freddy was one of my imaginary friends as a kid, so I feel like I need it. I also feel like I would live in it though. This might also make it harder to get Robert Englund to sign it if I see him at a con next year.
Get Out: The Complete Annotated Screenplay
I’m a Monkeypaw stan account, but I don’t own any merch. While I wouldn’t turn down anything in their store, I have my eye on the Get Out screenplay. Not just because I’m a writer! I loved this movie, and we all want eyes on Jordan Peele’s scripts. It’s also on this list because THE Tananarive Due wrote the introduction, and I know I need every word of that for my life. While we’re talking about Ms. Due, I also need her latest graphic novel The Keeper.
Halloween Blanket
I am a comfort bitch, and I am also an original Halloween bitch. So, letting me get comfortable under this blanket as I watch the OG Michael Myers terrorize Haddonfield is possibly the most thoughtful gift there is for me. I love the cover art, and it hits my nostalgia buttons in the right ways. I’m instantly transported to when I was a baby ghoul, and Mikey was my imaginary friend.
Horror Noire
I have watched the Shudder documentary multiple times but still haven’t read the book. A copy of Horror Noire feels mandatory for any horror nerd who is an aspiring horror historian. Plus it’ll give me a little more insight into the severely underrated Blaxploitation horror movies that are usually hard to find. I need it.
Horror Tarot Deck and Guidebook
I started pulling my own cards this year and am wearing out my True Heart deck. I’ve been searching for a second deck, and sadly the Buffy The Vampire Slayer one will not drop until March. However, this gorgeous deck exists and is waiting to find a home with me. Because I’m still a beginner, the guidebook will come in handy, too. Plus it’s just always cool to merge some of my interests in fun ways.
Men, Women, And Chainsaws
This book has been on my radar for years! I have three podcasts that are about looking at horror through intersectional lenses. So this book dissecting gender in the genre seems made for me. I can almost hear myself quoting it on my shows. Pulling quotes for some of the articles I write. Carrying it around and finally owning that I am a student of horror. I will be my most obnoxious and well-read self.
A Shudder Subscription
My subscription is set to auto-renew in March. That doesn’t mean I would look a gift subscription in the mouth though. Shudder is that girl, and the best gift you can give a horror fan. She puts out a new movie almost weekly. She has obscure deep cuts merged with classics. She also has gifted us with Horror Noire and Queer For Fear. She’s truly the only app one hundred percent about catering to all horror fans. She is a queen among peasants.
Stranger Things Funko Pop Figures
There is nothing cuter than Funko Pop Figures. While I still need to grow my entire collection, I have my eye on the Stranger Things collection specifically. While Erica and Eddie are my favorite characters, I have been on this adventure since season one and want EVERYONE. I’m going to need them to comfort me as I watch the last season under my weighted blanket. All of them are cute and affordable, and they seem to have one for every main character. Which is a lot of main characters…
Tatum’s Iconic Outfit
Poltergeists and Paramours have a lot of stuff I have talked myself into thinking I could pull off. However, the Tatum Riley death outfit from the original Scream is a mood. My chubby ass would feel too cute to care that I’m not going through the pet door. Nothing about this outfit is in my color palette, and I don’t care. While we’re here, I also want this Overlook Skater Dress and nine other looks from this site.
Wonderfalls Complete Series
I am a Bryan Fuller girl living in a Bryan Fuller world. Which is why I NEED this series. I discovered it after I fell in love with Pushing Daisies, and it has been my life goal to study them side by side for easter eggs. While I will take any Bryan Fuller series, I think this is the one I want him to sign if I ever see him in the real world. It’s not just because my Pushing Daisies DVDs look like they were attacked by a cocaine bear after years of use either. I want it signed because it’s one of the two first entries into the Fullerverse, but it is the one that will fit into my purse the easiest. Because Dead Like Me had two seasons and Wonderfalls only had one. TV didn’t deserve her, but I did!
Let me know if any of these items are on your wishlist, too, at @misssharai.
