in ,

New CHILD’S PLAY Video Teases Impending Trailer

A new video from the folks behind Child’s Play has dropped a confirmed date for the first trailer: February 8 (this Friday).

The video shows Kaslan Corp CEO Henry Kaslan talking about the Buddi doll and how it’s a revolutionary new toy for all the boys and girls. The press release we were sent even has a full list of features that this toy is going to have.

Let’s list them below and then break each one down for how it can be used as a tool of carnage and destruction:

●     Highly intricate cloud-backed voice recognition engine capable of identifying speech and comprehension of inflection, tonality and subtle variations in the human voice
– So it’s going to be able to tell when someone is afraid just by hearing them talk. Cool.

●     Ability to learn from human interaction and via 20 sensors and cameras that provide real-time information about its environment
– It’s going to know how and where to move and will know all the best hiding spots.

●     State-of-the-art sensor design providing high resolution image recognition and grip sensitivity
It’s gonna grab tight and never let go.

●     Preloaded with the ability to comprehend and converse in both English and Spanish, with the option for language expansion via the Kaslan Language Acquisition App
Buddi is gonna curse in multiple languages, just to be a dick.

●     Connectivity to the latest Kaslan products including the Kaslan HUB home controller, Kaslan VAC robotic vacuum, Kaslan Speakers, Kaslan Drone, the self-driving Kaslan Kar, and other smart home devices
It’s going to use your own home appliances to kill you.

●     And so much more!
I think that’s honestly enough.

Great job, Kaslan Corp, ya bunch o’ jerks…

Directed by Lars Klevberg and based on a script by Tyler Burton Smith, Child’s Play stars Aubrey Plaza, Brian Tyree Henry, and Gabriel Bateman.

Child’s Play comes to theaters on June 21, 2019.

Written by Jonathan Barkan

Lifelong horror fan with a love of music on the side.

Predator 1 150x150 - Early Draft of Shane Black & Fred Dekker’s THE PREDATOR Surfaces Online

Early Draft of Shane Black & Fred Dekker’s THE PREDATOR Surfaces Online

askformercyissue6banner1200x627 150x150 - Exclusive Preview of comiXology Originals' ASK FOR MERCY #60

Exclusive Preview of comiXology Originals’ ASK FOR MERCY #6