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Paramount Hoping a Movie Based on the CREEPY CRAWLERS Toy Brand Will Give Viewers Goosebumps

In Hollywood’s latest desperate desire to only produce movies based on existing IP, Paramount Players and Fast & Furious super producer Neal H. Moritz have joined forces to manufacture a motion picture based on the Mattel turned JAKKS Pacific toy brand CREEPY CRAWLERS.

I can’t help imagine the conversation that led to them securing the movie rights to this toyline went something like this:

“That Goosebumps movie made a lot of money. What other name-brand kid-friendly horror properties were popular with 90’s kids?

“Uh, I don’t know. There was this one thing called Creepy Crawlers.”

“Never heard of it? What are they?”

“You poured some goop into a plastic mold and put it inside this Easy Bake Oven-like device and made your own gross little rubber insects and other icky things that slither about.”

“I like what I’m hearing. Go on.”

“It was neat but also a bit of a scam. You more or less were paying thirty-plus dollars for a device that makes the same sort of cheap rubber crap you could buy a whole bag of for like a buck or two.”

Sounds like a perfect metaphor for the current state of blockbuster film making. I love it.”

“Creepy Crawlers originally began back in the Sixties as Thingmaker so we might even be able to sell the movie to more than one quadrant.”

“Outstanding! Goosebumps meets Jumanji meets Gremlins – but with bugs! This will make a fortune! And get the rights to that Easy Bake Oven thing while you’re at it!”

Variety reports that Paramount Players and Moritz are keeping the Creepy Crawlers plot details under wraps at the moment. In that case, let me take a stab at pitching the movie:

Pre-teens discover a supernatural “Thingmaker” 3D printer. Fun at first bringing weird things to life, but then it spawns forth swarms of rampaging spiders, centipedes, roaches, snakes, lizards, etc. that threaten their town. Only local exterminator Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson can help turn off the Thingmaker and put an end to these creepy crawlers once and for all.

In other movie news, a screenwriter walked into a major Hollywood studio this morning and pitched an original idea. They shot him.

Written by Foywonder

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