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Some Stocking Stuffer Ideas for a Horrifying Holiday

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I know our favorite holiday has passed, and now it’s all commercialism and Christmas carols unless you want to pull a Tobe Hooper at Sears, but there are a few gift ideas that might be really appreciated if found in those black stockings hanging by the fireplace Christmas morning.

1. First is the trilogy of Zombie Haiku, Werewolf Haiku and Vampire Haiku, all written by Ryan Mecum and published by HOW Books. The werewolf book tells the tale of a postman after he has been bitten by a “rabid” dog and his both frightening and hilarious degeneration into a werewolf. A couple of examples:

“If you think tacos
are hard for you to digest,
try passing chipmunks.”

Or

“In conversation,
burping up a severed toe
can make things awkward.”

The vampire haiku book tells the tale of one William Butten, who was “changed” by a mysterious woman on board a ship in 1620, and his adventures through the following centuries:

“Woodstock fields at night.
Peace, love and passed out bodies:
a vampire buffet.”

And the zombie tome comes from poet Chris Lynch, who is hiding in the bathroom of an airport after all hell has broken loose and, when he tries to make his escape, is bitten. What follows are increasingly disjointed and frightening three-line poems as Chris records the events he sees through his zombie eyes:

“His finger digs deep
down the hole where his nose was
and pulls out a toe.”

Or

“Blood is really warm.
It’s like drinking hot chocolate
but with more screaming.”

Zombie HaikuWerewolf HaikuVampire Haiku

2. Every Zombie Eats Somebody Sometime is a funny, kitschy little follow-up to 2009’s zombie Christmas carolsIt’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies, but this time the book is made up of love songs which have had their lyrics rewritten for zombie “lovers” everywhere. It’s written by Michael P. Spradlin with illustrations by Jeff Weigel. Several Beatles songs have been “reinterpreted” such as “I Want to Eat Your Hand”, and there’s a new version of “You’re the One That I Want”, redone as “You’re the One That I Chomp”. And, of course, Paul Simon’s classic “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” has been hilariously reworked into “50 Ways to Eat Your Lover”. Other “covers” include “That’ll Be the Day (That I Make You Die)” and “Tears of a Zombie Clown”. Something to take to your next zombie walk so that everyone can SING ALONG!

3. Tropes, by former Dread Central scribe Ryan Acheson, is an amazing collection of 37 short stories running the gamut from vampires working in a mortuary to a blind date with a zombie, a “Choose Your Own Destiny” book with a nasty side to a Lovecraft scholar who has a horrifying encounter with both a nightmarish book and a frightening woman. Many of Acheson’s stories reminded me of Stephen King in their “homeliness”: small towns, McDonald’s, diners, everyday people in extraordinary circumstances. A highly recommended gift for the reader in your life.

4. Dark Matter by Michelle Paver is a ghost story with a twist. Set in 1937, it follows 28-year-old Brit Jack Miller as he embarks on what he thinks will be the adventure of a lifetime: working as the communications officer on an Arctic expedition. But as with most horror/ghost stories, things just do not go as planned, and pretty soon Jack finds himself alone at the Arctic outpost. And something is walking outside in the darkness.

Every Zombie Eats Somebody SometimeTropesDark Matter

5. While a bit large to stuff a stocking, the fourth edition of Alain Silver and James Ursini’s The Vampire Film: From Nosferatu to Twilight is a must-have for every vampire lover. With over 800 photos, this new edition covers the recent surge in vampire media, including “True Blood”, the Twilight films, I am Legend and Let the Right One In. The book also deals with the sources of vampire lore in film, male vampires, female vampires, Dracula, the vampire at the millennium, stylistic variations in vampire films and more. A great addition to any horror lover’s library.

6. The Countess: A Novel by Rebecca Johns tells the story of Countess Erszebet Bathory through the Countess’ own eyes from her loving childhood through her internment in her own castle once her crimes had been discovered. Another version of Bathory’s tale to chill you to the bone.

7. Finally, Shadows over New England by David and Scott Goudsward is a horror lover’s must-have as it is “a guide to geographical locations in New England made popular by historical and contemporary horror (print, television and movies)”. There are also entries that include the burial sites of horror-related persons, filming locations and notorious places used as inspiration. Stuff that stocking with a copy of this, and your autumn travel plans are set.

The Vampire Film: From Nosferatu to TwilightThe Countess: A NovelShadows over New England

Elaine Lamkin

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Here’s Pancho Moler from Rob Zombie’s 3 FROM HELL

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This entire week we’ve shared some killer updates from Rob Zombie’s upcoming The Devil’s Rejects sequel 3 From Hell. First, we got our first looks at Bill Moseley’s Otis, Sheri Moon Zombie’s Baby, and Sid Haig’s Captain Spaulding. Then we learned the film will be hitting in early 2019.

And today we have your first look at Pancho Moler’s character Sebastian from the film. Moler is an actor you may recognize as the Nazi midget from Zombie’s previous film 31.

Like all of the other first look images, this one comes to us from writer-director Rob Zombie’s Instagram account and you can check out the post below where he writes: “Another Three From Hell exclusive! It’s time to meet a new character. This is Sebastian played by @pmoler. How does he figure into the madness? Only time will tell. As they say “Free The Three”!

Again, you can check out the post below and then make sure to hit us up and let us know what you think in the comments below or on Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram!

3 From Hell is written and directed by Rob Zombie and stars Bill Moseley, Sheri Moon Zombie, Sid Haig, Austin Stoker, Jeff Daniel Phillips, Daniel Roebuck, Emilio Rivera, Clint Howard, Bill Oberst Jr., David Ury, Tom Papa, Danny Trejo, Dot-Marie Jones, Richard Riehle, Richard Edson, Pancho Moler, Sean Whalen, Kevin Jackson, and Dee Wallace.

The film is tentatively due in early 2019.

Related: What the Hell Happens in 3 From Hell? Let’s Speculate!

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NIGHTMARE CINEMA Snags Hard R Rating

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Later this year we will see the release of the new horror anthology Nightmare Cinema. The film comes ot us from directors Mick Garris, Joe Dante, David Slade, Ryuhei Kitamura, and Alejandro Brugues and stars Mickey Rourke as The Projectionist.

Today we have word via the MPAA that the horror anthology has been given an R rating for “horror violence/gore, grisly images, language, some sexuality, and brief nude images.” And all of that sounds like good times to me!

Are you excited about this new horror anthology? Make sure to hit us up and let us know what you think in the comments below or on Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram!

Nightmare Cinema will premiere at this year’s Fantasia International Film Festival.

Synopsis:

A series of down-on-their-luck individuals enter the decrepit and spine-chilling Rialto theater, only to have their deepest and darkest fears brought to life on the silver screen by The Projectionist – a mysterious, ghostly figure who holds the nightmarish futures of all who attend his screenings. By the time our patrons realize the truth, escape is no longer an option. For once the ticket is torn, their fate is sealed at Nightmare Cinema.

Mick Garris, Joe Dante, David Slade, Ryuhei Kitamura, and Alejandro Brugues

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Blumhouse’s HALLOWEEN Official Site Live Now

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Like many of you out there, I’m really looking forward to Blumhouse’s upcoming direct sequel to John Carpenter’s Halloween. That’s why I wanted to make sure you guys were aware that the film’s official website is now up and running.

At this time, the site doesn’t have much going for it. But it does have a “save to calendar” feature and I’m sure it’s a site we will be keeping track of over the next few months as some cool stuff is bound to pop up before the film’s release.

You can visit the official site right HERE.

After looking through it make sure to hit us up and let us know what you think in the comments below or on Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram!

Halloween is directed by David Gordon Green based on a script he wrote with Danny McBride. Jamie Lee Curtis returns as Laurie Strode as does Nick Castle as Michael “The Shape” Myers. They are joined by Will Patton, Andi Matichak, and Judy Greer. Halloween creator John Carpenter is on board as executive producer and composer.

The anticipated release date is October 19, 2018.

Synopsis:

Jamie Lee Curtis returns to her iconic role as Laurie Strode, who comes to her final confrontation with Michael Myers, the masked figure who has haunted her since she narrowly escaped his killing spree on Halloween night four decades ago.

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