Directed by Anthony Indelicato
Distributed by Echo Bridge Home Entertainment
In The Woods Have Eyes a group of young people come under attack by some backwoods hicks. Low budget acting, gore and nudity follow. That’s all you need to know about the plot. If you didn’t notice … the title lacks originality. So do the plot, characters, and the cop-out twist in the end. Why waste time with a long synopsis?
Echo Bridge Home Entertainment is hitting all the same lows that Lionsgate has this past year with their direct-to-video releases. It seems anyone with $500 and a couple of naked tits can get a DVD released by these companies. Quality is taking a back seat to quantity at an alarming rate. Why would any horror fan pick these up when there are real classics out there?
Let’s look at all the areas where Woods fails.
First there’s the name The Woods Have Eyes, a title that is clearly a rip-off of Craven’s Hills films. Why not use Cappy’s Cabin instead since this is based on a true story and that is the name of one of the picture’s main locations? Sigh.
You know what? Screw the rest of the film’s failings. What is important to note is Woods is a 90-minute eyesore rife with bad acting, plot holes and the shitty “Oh, it was all a dream” ending. Fuck that. Honestly, what else can be said when you’ve seen a steady stream of direct-to-video crap? Each one just starts to gel with the next release. Crap is crap. We’re paying to be entertained, not to raise our eyebrows in amazement that this movie got distribution.
Save yourselves some time and rent the original The Hills Have Eyes or even the remake if you want real action and entertainment. Neither film is perfect, but at least you won’t be subconsciously slitting your wrists while Woods crawls along.
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