Directed by Stacy Title
Paraphrasing Snoop Dogg’s “Ain’t No Fun (If the Homies Can’t Have None)”:
When I saw your movie last night Snoop-y
Before I saw this piece of crap
I had respect for ya Snoop Dogg
But now I take it all back
Cuz you showed me your bad movie
And it even licked big balls
Leave my admission price on the cabinet
Hood of Horror is no good at all
HoH starts off promisingly enough with an anime style intro that depicts the genesis of the Cribkeeper (Snoop Dogg). The live action commences with Snoop introducing the first of the three tales about a young graffiti artist named Posie (Daniella Alonso) who wants revenge on the gangbangers that killed her Mom. A ghetto demon (Danny Trejo) grants Posie her wish by tattooing her tagging arm with demonic runes, giving her the ability to spraypaint her enemies out of existence. The one good gore scene of the entire movie occurs shortly thereafter when a gangbanger victim of Posie’s slips and falls on a forty of beer, impaling his face on the bottle.
The final episode tells the story of Sod (Pooch Hall), an up-and-coming rapper who kills his partner because he wants to go solo. One night after a little too much Cristal, Sod is visited in his champagne-soaked purgatory by Clara (Lin Shaye), the Ghost of Hip-Hop Past. Clara forces Sod to revisit his sordid rise to superstardom and finally face his zombified ex-partner. Notable only for “Seinfeld”’s Jason Alexander doing his best “I’m a badass” impression in yet another futile attempt to break out of his George Costanza typecasting hell.
Is it just me, or are these plot synopses boring as hell? Death by spraypaint, a bunch of old guys with guns, and a zombie rapper back for revenge? Oh, did I mention that the movie ends with a rap video recap to pad the running time? If the thought of a hip-hop horror movie written by a bunch of white guys appeals to you or you just want to see Lando Calrissian on the big screen one more time, then you might find a thing or two to enjoy in Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror. Otherwise, steer clear. It’s like everyone involved with this movie threw their hands up in the air and waved ‘em around like they just didn’t care…
1 out of 5
Discuss Hood of Horror in our forums!