Never let it be said that we don’t willingly take bullets for you guys. Even though we know something is going to be abysmal, we go in open-minded, white-knuckle grab onto our seats, and brace ourselves for whatever may come.
When word broke yesterday that both Hellraiser: Revelations and Children of the Corn: Genesis were playing in a single theatre in California, we knew that we had to have someone there to give a report back. In case you missed it, this morning at 2:00 AM Pacific Time, we put up the first ever Hellraiser: Revelations review.
Since then our writer has been cowering in the corner shaking. As a result your Children of the Corn: Genesis review will be coming a bit later as every time he tries to speak, he breaks out into 25-minute long rants about Faux this and Psuedo that before punching himself repeatedly in the groin.
Why, you ask? Click the image below for our review of Hellraiser: Revelations.