Ten podcasts and audio dramas to excite your incus, stimulate your stapes, and massage your malleus.
So I downloaded and listened to all the old Dinner for Fiends episodes and dug the hell out of them (of course)… but then they were done and I had nothing new to listen to. So, after some none too subtle urging from my darling husband, I started checking out this serialized podcast drama he’d been talking about. And it was FREE! So, great, it was cool, but I caught up; and once again I was waiting for the next episode to come out and had nothing to listen to AGAIN. So I started exploring the iTunes podcast section, which led me to podiobooks.com, and I started downloading and experimenting. I could tell after a few episodes that some weren’t my cup of tea at ALL… the thing with podcasts is that anyone with a computer can make one… which is great, except when it’s not.
And then I found one I didn’t just like, I loved. It was sexy and funny and exciting and touched me in all the right places. And that one led me to another one that did the same… and that one led me to another… and now I’m hooked. And while I haven’t listened to a ton of them yet, until recently I had no idea these wonderful things existed, so I thought I’d share with you my Top Ten Favorite Podcast Novels and/or Audio Dramas (in no particular order) so that you can begin your own experimental journey!
Don’t worry… it only hurts a little at first:
1. Chris Lester’s Metamor City
Genre: Horror/sci-fi/fantasy
Features: Supernatural creatures, sex, magic, violence
Download – “Huntress” (Episode 2) and “Troubled Minds” (a two-parter, Episodes 7 & 8), and if you’re not sold on Metamor City… well, then you have no taste and I’m not sure I want to be friends with you. Aside from two great visual and emotionally touching stories, there’s something else you’ve got to look forward to: Leanne Mabry as coroner Morgan Drauling in Huntress is totally captivating, and a vixen by the name of Cunning Minx is Jenna the succubus in Troubled Minds. Both ladies have voices that are sex… Mabry’s is more over the clothes heavy petting, while Minx’s voice is wet, sticky erotic abandon.
Where to find Metamor: Metamorcity.com or search for Metamor City podcast on iTunes, and catch up with author Chris Lester on Twitter under @etherius
Genre: Crime/fantasy
Features: Supernatural creatures, time travel, and violence
Here’s another that falls under “hard to classify”. The description on iTunes says it’s part noir, part fantasy, part “East Ender gangster tale”. And it is all of those things. However, I’m going to put this one under the “totally amazing” category as well. How to Disappear Completely is breakneck, convoluted and sometimes confusing but always entertaining. Unlike Metamor City, which is more an audio drama, author Myke Bartlett reads his novel (currently looking for a publisher) in the style of a podiobook. Bartlett’s got a great voice, with a smooth and sexy British accent that makes the story all that more palatable. He doesn’t try too hard to feminize his voice when reading the role of main character Theo, which serves to distinguish her as a separate entity without making her sound comical. Along with Theo is the real star of the story, Kilbey Salmon… who is a fabulous literary character and will hopefully have many more adventures with his sidekick, perpetual downer Nero Dusk. While I have to admit that there were definitely parts that aggravated me slightly while listening, by the time I made it to the end of the story everything clicked so mightily well. And the ending is something to behold… I was left with actual goose bumps!! While there are no real sound effects or different voice actors here, it should be noted that the audio quality of How to Disappear Completely is also top notch.
Download – the first four episodes: “The Grey Men”, “Pale Ghosts”, “The Last Train” and “The Grieving Girlfriend”… If you’re not intrigued by then, you might be dead.
Where to find How to Disappear Completely: MykeBartlett.com or search for Myke (with a Y) Bartlett on iTunes (if you don’t want to type out How to Disappear Completely, which will also find it for you!)
Genre: Fantasy
Features: Supernatural creatures, parallel worlds, magic, violence, sex
Morevi is another podiobook, each episode being a chapter (or part of one if it’s a long chapter). To be honest, I had to listen to the first episode, the prologue “Leap of Faith”, twice before it really gripped me. We’re introduced to swashbuckling Rafe Rafton, an English privateer (the nice way of saying pirate) on board a ship running from the Spanish armada. Morris does a great job narrating and voicing all the characters in the first episode, but despite the battle between Rafton’s ship and the Spanish, it wasn’t until very near the end that I began to be intrigued. Once Rafe and the rest of the crew enter the Graveyard of Lost Ships and pass through the maelstrom we later learn is the Rift, things really get going though! In Chapter 1, “Meeting of the Minds”, we’re introduced to the novel’s other lead, Askana Moldarin, first Queen of Morevi, voiced by the velvet throated Kiwi Philippa Ballantine (more on her below). By the end of Chapter 2, “Escape from Morevi” (a three-parter!) I was hooked through the nose. The world of Morevi is so rich and interesting that what little information Morris gives you about its history and culture makes you crave more. There’s magic and intrigue and all manner of interesting creatures than are more or less (mostly more) dangerous.
Loving my geeks the way I do, I’ve been surrounded my whole life by family, friends, boyfriends and now a husband who dig RPGs and have tried to no avail to convince me to play. After listening to the entire Morevi novel, I can only wish that there were an official RPG of Morevi and the world beyond the Rift that I could play in all the time. The characters are great, even the ones I couldn’t stand or wanted to hate, and Morevi is another podio drama with great production values; the music, the voices, the effects… all adding to what is just a damn good time. And Morris’ Rafe is definitely swoon-worthy. While I wouldn’t call Morevi a romance, it does have great romantic elements that are a real treat. This is one of those stories that come along infrequently where I actually got MAD that it was over, because I so didn’t want it to end. Thank goodness Legacy of Morevi is out in print… and it’s subtitled “Book One of the Arethellean Wars”, which means I can hold out my hope for more Morevi books!
Download – the prologue and first two chapters… You can thank me later.
Where to find Morevi: TeeMorris.com, “Morevi” on iTunes, or buy a copy of the print edition on Amazon, and follow Morris on Twitter under @TeeMonster
Other podcasts by Tee Morris: Billibub Baddings and the Case of the Singing Sword, KrakensQuest, The Survival Guide to Writing Fantasy, Podcasting for Dummies
4. Decoder Ring Theatre’s Black Jack Justice
Genre: Crime noir/comedy
Features: Guns, dames, snitches, sexual innuendo and violence
DownloadDecoderRingTheatre.com or search for Black Jack Justice on iTunes
Genre: Fantasy
Features: Supernatural creatures, sex, violence and Shakespeare
I love, love, love me some Shakespeare. I’ve read most, though unfortunately not all, of his plays and poetry and I think he’s written some of the most beautiful and stirring words ever put to paper. So when I was exploring my little nether-realm of podcast fiction and heard that Philippa Ballantine’s podcast was a historical fantasy novel about Will Shakespeare and the fairy realm, I was excited enough to download like six or eight episodes right off the bat. I was familiar with the lovely voice of Ms. Ballantine from the Metamor City podcast, where she voiced the sensuous Eva Selindi. She once again pairs with the adorable Tee Morris (Rafe to her Askana in Morevi, and Evan to her Eva in Metamor) as the titular Bard. The story itself is mostly told from the point of view of those in the other realm and does not exactly coincide with any of Shakespeare’s tales, but we do get to see hints of things the bard later wrote about. This makes the fantasy that much more relatable because it seems as if here is the real story that Shakespeare then took and molded to his means. Ballantine has really taken the spirit and style of the bard’s words into her, and the language of Chasing the Bard is beautiful and elegant and lovely to listen to. And this is yet another podcast with great production value from start to finish. Though at this point I would probably wouldn’t mind hearing Philippa Ballantine read her grocery list on air, Chasing the Bard is a must listen. It’s full of lust, love, danger and destruction and is one hell of a good show.
Download – Chapter One is all it takes
Where to find Chasing the Bard: PJBallantine.com, “Chasing the Bard” on iTunes, or pick up the print edition on Amazon and follow Philippa to keep up with her latest projects on Twitter under @PhilippaJane
Other podcasts by Philippa Ballantine: Weaver’s Web, Weather Child, Whispers at the Edge, Erotica a la Carte
Genre: Fantasy
Features: Supernatural creatures, magic, barbarian hordes
Once again, the journey that began down the rabbit hole of Metamor City leads me to another podcast I absolutely love. Christiana Ellis voiced the ultra reserved Fiona hin’Connaill for the Metamor novel Making the Cut, and she did a fantabulous job. But it wasn’t her voice that sent me to look for her other work, it was the challenge Nina Kimberly issued to Lester during one of his outros that sent me scrambling to iTunes. While Ellis’ role in Making the Cut is that of the tight-laced Fiona, it’s merely proof that she’s a talented voice actress… as her turn as Nina Kimberly is silly and savage and utterly delightful. Nina Kimberly is the daughter of the leader of a horde of barbarians, trapped in the last kingdom they overthrew when her father dies. Now she’s a teenage bombshell who has been wielding a blade since she was a child and is bored of the stagnant life she’s living. She goes off on a quest but is saddled with the idiot King Francis by his advisors who want her to help Francis gain some character building life experience. Not such a horrible task, except for the fact that Francis thinks Nina is his girlfriend, which pretty much makes her want to barf. Ellis voices all of the characters (bar one or two guest cameos) in this hilarious adventure tale but manages quite deftly to give each their own separate and recognizable voice. Nina Kimberly the Merciless is pure joy from beginning to end, and I swear if I don’t get to hear more tales of her and her barbarian horde, I’ll destroy something with a double-headed axe!
Download – Episodes 1-3… if you’re not in love by the time Tiernan appears, your ears are full of dragon dung.
Where to find Nina Kimberly the Merciless: ChristianaEllis.com, Nina Kimberly on iTunes, or get the print edition from Amazon
Other podcasts by Christiana Ellis: Space Casey, Christiana’s Shallow Thoughts, Hey Want to Watch a Movie?
7. Mur Lafferty’s Playing For Keeps
Genre: Fantasy
Features: Violence, comedy, superheroes, and fecal humor
Download – The Takeover. With 10 episodes clocking in at 18 minutes or less each, this is a quirky fun ride any zombie fan will enjoy.
Where to find Mur’s work: Murverse.com, “Mur Lafferty” on iTunes, get a print edition of Playing for Keeps from Amazon, and follow Mur on Twitter under @MightyMur
Other podcasts by Mur Lafferty: I Should Be Writing, The Takeover, Heaven Seasons 1-5
8. Scott Sigler’s Ancestor
Genre: Horror
Features: Sex, gore, and lots and lots of violence
Where to find Ancestor: Right now, nowhere. The podcast has been pulled until the book comes out. So check out ScottSigler.comfor some of his other works, or search “Scott Sigler” on iTunes, and follow Scott on Twitter under @ScottSigler
Other podcasts by Scott Sigler: Earthcore, The Crypt, Infected, The Rookie, Nocturnal, Bloodcast Seasons 1 and 2
9. J Daniel Sawyer’s Antithesis
Genre: Sci-fi
Features: Sex, violence, and poker
Download – Episodes 1-3… it starts off a little slow, but the fuse is lit and ready to blow by episode three. See if you don’t dig the twisted knot that is Joss’s world.
Where to find Antithesis: JDSawyer.net, or Antithesis on iTunes. You can also follow Sawyer on Twitter under @Dsawyer
Other podcasts by J Daniel Sawyer: Sculpting God, The Polyschizmatic Reprobates Hour, Apologia, Down From Ten
10. JC Hutchins’ 7th Son Trilogy
Genre: Sci-fi/horror
Features: Clones, assassination, nuclear war and other violence
Download – Episodes 1-4. The first episode should have you hooked, but it takes a few more to really get into the meat of the story. Trust me.
Where you can find 7th Son: JCHutchins.net, 7th Son on iTunes, and coming soon in print (pre-order now) from St. Martin’s… I can’t wait!!! You can also follow JC on Twitter under @JCHutchins
Other podcasts by JC Hutchins: The Ultra Creatives Interview Series, 7th Son: Obsidian (a companion piece to the trilogy)