Jason Lives represents the sixth chapter of the Camp Crystal Lake saga, so we felt it fitting to offer six reasons why it’s the highlight of the Friday the 13th canon. Though the horror version of a defibrillator, James Bond open, and hairy turns were all amazing, they didn’t bring enough to the table to make the cut.
And to further illustrate the strength of Jason Lives, we’re not even going to utilize Thom Mathews or C.J. Graham for our argument. For those who don’t know, they just happened to play the two key roles in the film — Mathews as protagonist Tommy Jarvis and Graham as antagonist Jason Voorhees.
So “Take a seat, Junior,” and allow Dread Central to make the case for Jason Lives as the finest of Friday fare.
Related Story: Friday the 13th Part VI: 30 Years On and Why Jason Still Lives
6 — DON’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT
So Tony Goldwyn had a pea-shooter in the glove compartment and decided that he was going to warn Jason out of the road. Silly rabbit. Voorhees speared and flung him like a bale of hay in what we can only assume was preemptive punishment for what Goldwyn would go on to do to Swayze in Ghost.
However, that was just the appetizer for the entree to come. Nancy McLoughlin (now wife of Jason Lives director Tom McLouglin) crawled out of the VW Bug in a panic and reached for her wallet to pay off the masked maniac after settling into a puddle. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, right?
About the time McLouglin felt she was in the clear, Jason leaped down and plunged said spear straight through her cranium. The bounty with which she’d planned to purchase safe passage began floating away, including an American Express card. The shot focused on the power of the plastic and was held just long enough for an audience member to inevitably bellow out… well, you know the rest.
5 — HOCKEY FOR IDIOTS
Everyone’s favorite momma’s boy discovered his beloved goaltender’s mask at the expense of Shelly and celebrated by harpooning Vera before embarking on an eight-picture splat-fest. That was until Derek Mears set the fashion world on its ear by proclaiming that burlap was back.
That said, one need not be Canadian to understand that there’s more to the Great White North’s national pastime than hocks. Enter a trio of office executives fully immersed in a game of paintball at a team-building retreat for a lesson in Hockey 101. Scoring three goals in a single game is referred to as a hat trick at the rink. Dropping from a tree and relieving three heads from their respective shoulders like Daniel LaRusso hulking his way through blocks of ice was just awesome. And so Jason Voorhees.
4 — “TEENAGE FRANKENSTEIN”
One would think it impossible to improve on a Harry Manfredini score, but that proved incorrect as a result of three Alice Cooper selections on the Jason Lives soundtrack.
Cooper rocked “He’s Back (The Man Behind the Mask)” for the end credits, and we dare you to find a better combination of original song and action sequence than Cooper’s “Teenage Frankenstein” and RV flip.
And not for nothin’, but Cooper collaborated on Part VI’s trio of tunes with Kane Roberts, who also worked on the Shocker soundtrack. And is named Kane. It doesn’t get more Friday than that.
3 — FOREST GREEN’S FINEST
The Friday franchise hadn’t offered a memorable cop since Ron Millkie’s unforgettable two minutes as Officer Dorf in the original, but damned if it wasn’t worth the four-sequel wait to get Sheriff Garris and Deputy Rick Cologne.
For all the bluster and deadpan machismo of Dorf, David Kagen and Vinny Guastaferro took it even further, begging the question: “Are you in show business, kid? You sure know how to make an entrance.” The tandem were simply incapable of using general police lingo; instead they ran with slang at every opportunity, and it was gloriously over-the-top.
In the mid-Eighties, the boys in blue couldn’t just say things like “Lock him up” or “Hit the lights.” Nay, it was necessary to put out the vibe, not to mention much “cooler” to drop “Iron this punk” and “Hit the noise and the cherries!”
To say nothing of backbreaking work and “Wherever the red dot goes.”
Ya-Bang.
2 — “SOME FOLKS GOT A STRANGE IDEA OF ENTERTAINMENT”
Let’s rewind the clocks back to Friday the 13th Part II. Remember when Walt Gorney decided to spend an evening devoted to voyeurism directed at Amy Steel and strangulation, but not the kind with a happy ending?
Yeah, all doom. No boom.
After the prophet of death checked out, the Friday franchise lacked any semblance of Crazy Ralph-level lunacy for several pictures, and we all missed it. The cracked-out, road-napper from Part III certainly gave it a go with the plucked orb, but the cut was clearly not being met.
Until Martin emerged three installments later.
The “high school grad-you-eight” was clearly overqualified for his caretaker position, a fact confirmed when Martin refused to be led astray by Tommy Jarvis’ demands to dig up Jason’s grave. Though Kathleen later proved a horrible navigator, the man’s mettle had been tested, and he staggered through it in a booze-fueled haze.
“But what a way to go.”
1 — “I AM HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME”
Still need convincing that Jason Lives rules? Then you’ve come to the right place. Sitting atop the mountainous heap of corpses created by the Camp Crystal Lake marauder is Cort, otherwise known as the finest Friday character not named Voorhees.
Let’s be clear… Tom Fridley is related to John Travolta, but this was one case where bloodline had nothing to do with rocking.
Cort had zero clue about being a camp counselor but didn’t let such petty details serve as an obstacle as he assumed the role of wise woodsman and offered lessons on the intricacies of rock formations and throwing squaws off one’s scent.
Fridley channeled his inner Ashley Williams with nonsensical declarations about Native American culture and believed he played the role of knowledgeable authority figure to perfection, while the children peered at a supreme dolt and noted, “If this is as exciting as it gets, we’re in big trouble, dude.”
Later, when Cort ventured out in search of things that go “bump in the night” and the power went out (along with his load), the feed me Seymour “I didn’t mean it” card was once again played with “Wasn’t that the end of the song?”
Fridley was legitimately funny and, unlike many who graced the Friday screen, didn’t overplay his character. For that, Cort dons the crown as King of Camp Crystal Lake counselors.
So there you have it. The top six reasons why Jason Lives is the best film in the Friday family. Unless you’re back there takin’ a dump, we’re sure you agree.
In the unlikely event that you don’t, however, let us know all about it in the comments section below.