Whether you loved it or hated it, we can’t deny “True Blood: happened. HBO’s sexy vampire drama was either something you could really bite your hypothetical fangs into (pun intended) or a show you loved to hate watch for its ridiculous array of supernatural critters.
The overwhelming majority of “True Blood” fans seem to unanimously agree on the following: When the show was good, it was good; but when it was bad, it was REALLY BAD.
Yet, we still kept watching just to see how the crazy and often completely ridiculous series would wrap up all the fairy, werewolf, witch, and vampire foolishness.
It’s been a year since “Sookie” (to be read in Bill Compton fashion) and the rest of the lively Bon Temps gang appeared on the small screen. As a eulogy to the greatest vampire porn ever made, in no particular order, here are some of “True Blood’s” greatest moments.
10. Longshadow’s Death
One of the first vampire kills on “True Blood” was one of the show’s best and goriest scenes. In the show’s lore, if a vampire kills another, one must be created in its place, in this case Jessica. While this was strictly enforced in Season 1, later seasons ignored this “rule” and started getting stake-happy.
9. High Vampires/The Karaoke Massacre
In one of the highlights of Season 5, Bill, Eric, our beloved Russell, and the sorely disappointing Authority get high on Lilith’s vampire god blood and crash a wedding party. Bonus: Eric gives Bill a piggyback ride and “You Light Up My Life” karaoke. What a time to have been alive.
8. Nudity
At the request of both my husband (Jessica/Sookie) and my mother (direct quote: “Eric’s naked butt!”), the copious amount of gratuitous nudity on “True Blood” had to be mentioned. There is too much video evidence of said nudity for posting. Enjoy this delightful image instead.
7. Sarah Newlin’s Fate
Sarah Newlin was the “True Blood” villain you loved to hate and hated that you kind of loved. From preacher’s wife to governor’s mistress to the unlikely and unwilling savior of vampire kind, Sarah Newlin’s fate should have been obvious to the start. We should have known that bitch was gonna get it, and she did! For some being locked up in the basement of Fangtasia would be a dream, but for Sarah Newlin it was hell. And exactly what she deserved.
6. Lafayette
Serving as the show’s comic relief for much of the earlier seasons, Lafayette took the stereotypical gay guy troupe and made it even more sassy and fabulous. Although the character’s one-liners and on-point sarcasm started to fizzle out towards the later seasons, Lafayette still holds a special place in the hearts of “True Blood” fans.
5. Pam Turns Tara
Tara sucked until she was turned into a vampire by Pam. Once Tara was turned, she sucked a little less; then she died. Tara being made into a vampire was significant for the character, yet did little for the show. However, this scene was made memorable by Pam’s amazing one-liners. Walmart sweatsuits, anyone?
4. “Now time for the weather, Tiffany.”
This scene by far is one that sticks out in the minds of “True Blood” fans. Fan favorite Russell Edgington, the villain that you loved to love, shows his true evil vampire self and rips out the spine of a news anchor. If only the real news was this exciting.
3. RIP, Mr. Compton
Sookie and Bill were doomed from the start. Whether you were team Bill, Eric, or Alcide, the love between Sookie and Bill was an integral element to the show. After the finale episode aired, it should have been obvious all along that Bill would meet a bloody end. All Sookie wanted was a normal life, and all she had to do was kill her vampire ex-boyfriend to get it.
2. Steve Newlin Is a Gay Vampire
The Season 2 antagonist returned at the end of Season 4, and surprise! He’s a vampire and has left his former hate-mongering church leader life behind to finally come out of the closet. Much like Bill’s death, we should have seen that coming. Steve is eventually killed by Eric Northman in Season 6, but still, it was nice to see a character do a complete 180. During the lacking later seasons, Steve Newlin’s newfound vampy gayness was a much welcomed surprise.
1. Sookie Says What We Were All Thinking
You have to give it to “True Blood” for making fun of itself. Props to the writers for this one. No further explanation needed.