NOT SAFE FOR WORK: Severed Arms and Legs of Horror Cinema: An Off of Body Experience

On the off chance that you’ve failed to detect my morbid gravitation to dismemberment, I’ve returned to produce a reminder. I’ve discussed the cranium and its strangely glorious separation from the body. It’s time now to move on to the appendages…

…the removal of which oftentimes can prove more repulsive than beheadings.

The progression seemed natural, right?

If you’ve been caught off guard, get used to the idea that I’m keen on the disturbing. The memorable moments of film that force us to cringe and question our own lucidity, all the while a sadistic smile slowly forms on our faces, concealed only by the dim theater lights.

The disconcerting shit really crawls under my skin and in some odd way seems to frequently offer me a look at myself in an alternate mirror, where I see potential character traits I choose to ignore in a bid to to ensure my sanity. So I love writing these pieces, and I’m going to give you, the reader, human body parts galore, plain and simple.

Slow Down, Bitches: Quentin Tarantino has openly expressed disdain for Death Proof. Fans didn’t take too kindly to it either, citing the long, drawn-out dialogue as one of the pic’s major hindrances. But you know what? This is actually one of my favorite Tarantino films. And I think the dialogue is truly, truly genius. Stunt Man Mike’s sensual conversation with Butterfly is one of the greatest exchanges I’ve heard in my 33 years.

“The woods are lovely, dark and deep and I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep. Did you hear me, Butterfly? Miles to go before you sleep.”
“Sorry, Stunt Man Burt,”
“Mike… She already broke off that dance.”
“Is that true? Did I… miss my chance?
“Do I frighten you?
“Is it my scar?”
“It’s your car.”
“Ah, yeah, I know. Sorry… it’s my mom’s car.”

sevslids - NOT SAFE FOR WORK: Severed Arms and Legs of Horror Cinema: An Off of Body Experience
Tell me that isn’t brilliance. But the entertainment of this one stretches so far beyond a few conversations. Zoe Bell is amazing. We get an incredible car chase showcasing some gorgeous, borderline lust-worthy classic cars. Kurt Fucking Russell is the villain! And then there’s this, this absolutely captivating murder sequence in which sees the striking Jungle Julia ripped to shreds. Well, it sure as hell sees her leg come detached from her body in jaw-dropping fashion, that can’t be questioned.

You Can Run But You Can’t… Well, Guess Ya Can’t Run Either: The 2003 redux of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre turned out to be a solid remake. It wasn’t amazing, it wasn’t terrible. I guess in that sense it’s actually fairly similar to Tobe Hooper’s original (let’s face it, as much as we all may love it, that was never a “great flick”), which worked well with audiences. However, the horrendous situation this group of youngsters find themselves in doesn’t work, for them. We all know they’re going to bite the bullet. We all know they’re going to be tortured to unpleasant lengths. But we didn’t all see this absolutely awesome amputation coming, that’s for damn sure. Kick-ass blend of action and terror!

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Written by Steve Barton

You're such an inspiration for the ways that I will never, ever choose to be.

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