Friday the 13th – Jason’s Top 13 Horniest Kills
Steve Barton
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7. Keep it up until the end of the song… (Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives)
Even though I was quite young the first time I saw Jason Lives, I realized at a very early age that my life wouldn’t truly be complete until I’d had sex to the song ‘Animal’ by Felony.
Personal fetishes aside, I’m not sure what universe Nikki (Darcy DeMoss) and Court (Tom Fridley) are in where ‘Animal’ runs north of ten minutes (my iPod version clocks in around 3:30), but holding out until the end of the song wasn’t within the realm of possibility for Court. The lovebirds are interrupted when Jason kills the power to the rockin’ camper (prompting Court to, ahem, pop), naturally taking a moment to investigate the disturbance afterwards. They play right into the hands of a diabolic Jason who pulls Nikki into the RV’s bathroom while Court understandably cranks and jams to Alice Cooper.
This whole sequence is wonderfully playful: from Jason’s initial puzzlement over the scene to the way writer/director Tom McLoughlin stages the suspense. Nikki’s impression into the RV wall is a real crowd-pleaser, as is Jason’s slow advance toward an unsuspecting Court. The hunting knife through the skull is just the icing on this slow burn of a horny cake.
6. Mirror, mirror. (Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan)
The death of Tamara (Sharlene Martin) continues the tradition previously established by the The New Blood of getting the audience to root for the death of a merciless bitch of a character. In Part VII it was Melissa, but it’s all about Tamara this time around:
It isn’t enough that this high schooler blows coke, shamelessly manipulates those around her and conspires to lure her teacher into a sex scandal as a means of getting a good grade, but she’s also the mastermind behind the event that finds our heroine spilling overboard.
Classy.
It’s unsurprising, then, that Jason makes a beeline for this mini femme fatale rather early on in the proceedings. As such, she winds up trapped in the bathroom of her cabin, where her robe is torn free and a male stunt double hilariously smashes head-first into the mirror, creating a handful of weapons for our ready and willing killer. Thrown headfirst into her vanity, Tamara’s end is something of a poetic one.
5. Spear gun to the balls. (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter)
Speaking of poetic: the smarmiest, most unlikeable douche in Friday 4 meets his end in the most appropriate way imaginable. In a move that can only be described as incomprehensible, Paul (Alan Hayes) jilts the absolutely stunning Samantha (Judie Aronson) in favor of slow dancing with one of the twin sisters he’d met hours earlier.
Of course, Paul has an 11th hour crisis of conscience and heads out to find poor Samantha, who has already been stabbed to death and left to rot in a raft in the middle of Crystal Lake. Paul finds her, freaks out and frantically heads back to shore where Jason is waiting…
The spear gun kill is unquestionably brutal, but needed in this case. Swift and brutal justice dealt to the guilty head … one doesn’t smite Judie Aronson and get away with it.
Categorized:Lists
