Wanna know something? Horror remakes are here to stay. I know, I know; not exactly earth-shattering news. The horror remake has been a mainstay in Hollywood for a long time now with no end in sight. I find it funny that people still get angry when a new horror remake is announced. That’s like getting angry because there’s a Monday in every week.
I’m not completely against horror remakes. There’s been more than a few that have been just as good as, if not better than, the original. There are also some horror films that – for many different reasons – should be remade.
Below is my list of horror films that need to be remade. Remaking the following films won’t just introduce them to a new audience, but remaking them may result in an overall stronger film.
The Hidden (1987)
Here’s one with a solid story: A cop and an FBI agent team up to hunt down a serial killer who isn’t exactly what he/she seems. The performances are great and the F/X are damn good for 1987, but The Hidden suffers from being hopelessly outdated. It just reeks of the 1980s, and this actually hurts the overall film. The killer goes into a record store; all the cops are using typewriters; the police station’s cutting edge computer lab consists of a few Commodore 64’s. All these elements really takes away from the experience of the movie. Plus, I think there could be more horror elements in this flick. This would be an easy one to update. The skeleton of the film is solid; it just needs a cosmetic facelift to update the technology and overall feel.
Night of the Creeps (1986)
This classic needs a remake for the same reasons as The Hidden. It has an outdated 1980’s feel to it that really pulls you out of the movie. And let’s face it; Night of the Creeps could also benefit from some better F/X work.
Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. With a title like that, how could this flick fail? Well, it does. The titular creatures barely get any screen time. C.H.U.D. is begging to be updated into a fantastic creature flick!!
Stan Winston’s directorial debut is an overall fantastic movie. Winston gives us one of the scariest creatures in modern horror, but I feel like Pumpkinhead underachieves and we never really get to see him in all his demonic glory.
There’s no doubt that this one has a lot going for it. It’s got a fantastic horror villain (The Tall Man), silver spheres that are flying Cuisinarts, and it has one of the creepiest atmospheres and tones around. But Phantasm suffers from a dated 1970s feel and from a wonky plot. Get someone in there who could make a more linear storyline (the mythology in this film is terrific), and you’ve got yourself a winner!
The Stuff (1985)
Another classic that suffers from the era in which it is made. The Stuff is a yogurt-like substance that is actually a living thing that eats people from the inside out. The film pokes fun at dieting fads, consumerism, and advertising. With today’s controversy of GMOs, what better time is there for a remake of The Stuff?