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Wanna See Something REALLY Scary?

Wanna See Something REALLY Scary? Mickey Goes to Hell aka Suicide Mouse

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Wanna See Something REALLY Scary

“Wanna see something REALLY scary?”

To horror fans who came of age in the 1980s, the line above instantly evokes memories of Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks in the opening scene from Twilight Zone: The Movie. Now, on a bi-monthly basis, I’ll be asking, “Wanna see something REALLY scary?” with the goal of shocking you with chilling footage plumbed from the darkest corners of YouTube.

Today’s exploration is an oldy-but-goody, something plucked from the intersection of cursed videos and Disney-related conspiracy theories. “Mickey Goes to Hell” aka “Suicide Mouse” is a years-old internet enigma, but as opposed to most urban legends associated with lost media, this footage actually exists. Whether it’s authentic or created after the legend became popular is, of course, a topic of fierce debate.

Here’s the scoop on Suicide Mouse in its entirety; this original story appeared in 2010 on a now-defunct chat room, but has been saved  and published (typos and all) by Snopes:

So do any of you remember those Mickey Mouse cartoons from the 1930s? The ones that were just put out on DVD a few years ago? Well, I hear there is one that was unreleased to even the most avid classic disney fans. According to sources, it’s nothing special. It’s just a continuous loop (like flinstones) of mickey walking past 6 buildings that goes on for two or three minutes before fading out. Unlike the cutesy tunes put in though, the song on this cartoon was not a song at all, just a constant banging on a piano as if the keys for a minute and a half before going to white noise for the remainder of the film. It wasn’t the jolly old Mickey we’ve come to love either, Mickey wasn’t dancing, not even smiling, just kind of walking as if you or I were walking, with a normal facial expression, but for some reason his head tilted side to side as he kept this dismal look. Up until a year or two ago, everyone believed that after it cut to black and that was it. When Leonard Maltin was reviewing the cartoon to be put in the complete series, he decided it was too junk to be on the DVD, but wanted to have a digital copy due to the fact that it was a creation of Walt. When he had a digitized version up on his computer to look at the file, he noticed something.

The cartoon was 9 minutes and 4 seconds long.

After it cut to black, it stayed like that until the 6th minute, before going back into Mickey walking. The sound was different this time. It was a murmur. It wasn’t a language, but more like a gurgled cry. As the noise got more indistinguishable and loud over the next minute, the picture began to get weird. The sidewalk started to go in directions that seemed impossible based on the physics of Mickeys walking. And the dismal face of the mouse was slowly curling into a smirk. On the 7th minute, the murmur turned into a bloodcurdling scream (the kind of scream painful to hear) and the picture was getting more obscure. Colors were happening that shouldn’t have been possible at the time. Mickey face began to fall apart. his eyes rolled on the bottom of his chin like two marbles in a fishbowl, and his curled smile was pointing upward on the left side of his face. The buildings became rubble floating in midair and the sidewalk was still impossibly navigating in warped directions, a few seeming inconceivable with what we, as humans, know about direction. Mr. Maltin got disturbed and left the room, sending an employee to finish the video and take notes of everything happening up until the last second, and afterward immediately store the disc of the cartoon into the vault. This distorted screaming lasted until 8 minutes and a few seconds in, and then it abruptly cuts to the mickey mouse face at the credits of the end of every video with what sounded like a broken music box playing in the background. This happened for about 30 seconds. From a security guard working under me who was making rounds outside of that room, I was told that after the last frame, the employee stumbled out of the room with pale skin saying “Real suffering is not known” 7 times before speedily taking the guards pistol and offing himself on the spot. The thing I could get out of Leonard Maltin was that the last frame was a piece of russian text that roughly said “the sights of hell bring its viewers back in”. As far as I know, no one else has seen it.

Wanna see something REALLY scary?

You can check out Suicide Mouse in its entirety below. While I haven’t looked at the footage myself (why risk it, am I right?) comments from those who have seen it range from “That’s the scariest thing I’ve ever seen,” to, “It looks like a film school drop-out’s animation project.” If you are truly compelled and dying of curiosity, by all means—explore!

Got an idea for a future installment of “Wanna See Something REALLY Scary?” Hit me up on Twitter @josh_millican!

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Wanna See Something REALLY Scary?

Wanna See Something REALLY Scary? The Brave Little Toaster Dream Scene

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“Wanna see something REALLY scary?”

To horror fans who came of age in the 1980s, the line above instantly evokes memories of Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks in the opening scene from Twilight Zone: The Movie. Now, on a bi-monthly basis, I’ll be asking, “Wanna see something REALLY scary?” with the goal of shocking you with chilling footage plumbed from the darkest corners of YouTube.

Earlier this week, I published an article highlighting terrifying moments from kids’ movies, scenes that haunted those of us who were mere youngsters in the 1980s. One example that wasn’t included, but that Dread Central Head Honcho Uncle Creepy agrees was a real sucker-punch, is the dream scene from the animated film The Brave Little Toaster, Released in 1987.

Before Beauty and the Beast personified teapots and candelabras, and before Toy Story brought us the story of dated action figures looking for their owner, Jerry Rees directed a mostly-benign tale that followed the meanderings of abandoned appliances trying to find their way home; the main character is the titular toaster who is, obviously, brave. Give the trailer a look-see.

Okay, the fact that the appliances refer to their owner as “Master” is definitely weird, but nothing could prepare viewers (especially younger ones) for a terrifying moment that comes completely out of left-field. The brave toaster has a bad dream that proves appliances have worse nightmares than most humans!

Everyone credits the 1990 IT miniseries with creating a generation of coulrophobia sufferers, but The Brave Little Toaster also came out first. Not only are we visually assaulted by a terrifying clown, he’s also a fireman, a fact that might have perplexed and disturbed kids to no end. Luckily, there don’t appear to be any lingering or widespread phobias associated with first responders!

Wanna see something REALLY scary?

Give the dream sequence from The Brave Little Toaster a spin below and just imagine what it might have been like to see it at a tender age!

Got an idea for a future installment of “Wanna See Something REALLY Scary?” Hit me up on Twitter @josh_millican!

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Wanna See Something REALLY Scary? The Rise and Fall of Pete the Meat Puppet

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Wanna See Something REALLY Scary

“Wanna see something REALLY scary?”

To horror fans who came of age in the 1980s, the line above instantly evokes memories of Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks in the opening scene from Twilight Zone: The Movie. Now, on a bi-monthly basis, I’ll be asking, “Wanna see something REALLY scary?” with the goal of shocking you with chilling footage plumbed from the darkest corners of YouTube.

Pete the Meat Puppet is something of a celebrity in certain YouTube subcultures, especially those enamored by macabre and disturbing videos. If you find Chucky unsettling, turn back now, because everything about Pete is more terrifying than the scourge of the Child’s Play franchise!

The Rise and Fall of Pete the Meat Puppet is an unforgettable video—for a few reasons. There’s an overtly comic overtone to the musical ditty, one that recounts Pete’s humble beginnings as lunch scraps and how the breast milk from a barren lunch lady brought him to life. The song is so catchy, it’ll be stuck in your head for days—and probably not in a good way!

But most of what makes Pete legendary, and why he’s the feature of this week’s column, is because he’s disgusting! The jokey presentation and addictive song stand in stark contrast to the grotesque reality of a Pinocchio built out of rotting flesh. Suddenly, Pete’s descent into prostitution and self-cannibalism becomes utterly gut-churning. The vintage presentation makes the entire video even more nightmarish.

Without further ado, meet Pete:

If you’re left thinking, “That was certainly disturbing, but I sure like those jeans Pete was wearing!” then you’re one of the few who got the video’s actual intention. Unbelievably, Pete the Meat Puppet was created as part of a marketing campaign for Diesel. Of course, this is the same company that released a series of “hair bath” videos (which could probably be the subjects of their own feature!).

Wanna see something REALLY scary?

If The Rise and Fall of Pete the Meat Puppet hasn’t left you scarred for life, you can watch the follow-up, Pete the Meat Puppet on the Live Show, below. It’s the same basic story, this time presented in a vintage talk-show format. Though less overtly disgusting than the first video, there’s something about the casual interactions between Pete and “real people” that will cast some of you into the deepest pits of The Uncanny Valley.

Got an idea for a future installment of “Wanna See Something REALLY Scary?” Hit me up on Twitter @josh_millican!

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Wanna See Something REALLY Scary?

Wanna See Something REALLY Scary? Local 58 Contingency Emergency Broadcast

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Wanna See Something REALLY Scary

“Wanna see something REALLY scary?”

To horror fans who came of age in the 1980s, the line above instantly evokes memories of Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks in the opening scene from Twilight Zone: The Movie. Now, on a bi-monthly basis, I’ll be asking, “Wanna see something REALLY scary?” with the goal of shocking you with chilling footage plumbed from the darkest corners of YouTube.

As a child of the Cold War born in the 1970s and traumatized by films like The Day After and Threads, I remember immediately panicking every time an Emergency Broadcast broke into a TV show I was watching. That alarming tone made my stomach drop and in the moments before it was confirmed to be “only a test” I had already imagined a barrage of nuclear warheads bursting overhead.

My heart went out to the residents of Hawaii who, due to a false alarm, believed a missile attack was imminent this weekend. For almost 40 minutes, families scrambled into fallout shelters, bathrooms, and even storm drains, believing war had begun between the United States and North Korea. Even after the all-clear was announced and the warning revealed as a mistake, nerves were severely rattled. I can only imagine the potential long-term damage done to the psyches of Hawaii’s youngest residents.

For a taste of the pandemonium that occurred, check out an excerpt from CNN’s reporting below.

While the shock must have been unprecedented for most, a bizarre alert that accidentally aired in the late 1960s puts the Hawaii debacle to shame. What viewers of a local station saw just before the end of programming at 3 am was a message announcing the fall of the US Government, and included instructions for committing suicide rather than surrendering to enemy forces.

Wanna see something REALLY scary?

The message bore the seal of The U.S. Department for the Preservation of American Dignity, included a statement from President Lyndon B. Johnson, and warned that failure to commit suicide as instructed would have consequences:

“Your local law enforcement has been ordered to ensure your compliance,” the message cautioned. “It is against the law to delay.” The final instructions remind adult viewers to put down their children and pets first while promising “There is nothing to fear.” Though the station later posted a statement ensuring viewers the message was a hoax, the potential loss of life this broadcast could have inspired is staggering. Have a look:

If the Local 58 Contingency, as it’s become known, seems too outlandish to be true, that’s because it isn’t. Though the video doesn’t include an admission of fiction, it’s written and directed by Kris Straub. If that name sounds familiar, that’s because he’s the writer of the popular creepypasta Candle Cove, recently adapted into a TV series on SyFy.

Still, the vintage look of the Local 58 Contingency, not to mention the current climate of heightened tensions between American and a rogue nuclear nation, make this video a truly terrifying viewing experience.

Got an idea for a future installment of “Wanna See Something REALLY Scary?” Hit me up on Twitter @josh_millican!

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