Event Report: Horror & Hotties Film Festival

Mike Phalin |

Mar 7, 2007

Last Saturday Debi, Uncle Creepy and myself set forth to bring buckets of culture to the USF campus in Tampa, Florida. We were invited to be a part of the Horror & Hotties Film Festival to enjoy and host six and a half hours of horror films, boobs and more boobs with Creepy as the master of ceremonies put on by DVD Empire and Academic Financial Services.

A storm had been over Tampa all day. The fear of a bad turnout was sneaking up the spines of the Dread Central crew. A few minutes after 6PM, and the fans of our genre fought off the bad weather and arrived ready to yell, shout and bare a little skin. Let it never be said that the horror fiends are not the most dedicated.

What were they in store for this evening? First up was the short film Tattoo Love Magic. Perhaps this wasn’t the best way to start out the night as the film had little to no connection to horror. A pretty boy becomes obsessed with his girlfriend’s tattoo and gets one of his own from a strange old man. Soon he realizes that women are magically drawn to him and his … TURTLE TATTOO?! It’s a good thing the crowd was encouraged to yell out during the films to provide much needed entertainment. It’s an even better thing that the follow-up short by the name There’s Something Out There proved to be a healthier entry. Those little garden gnomes are not as innocent and nice as they appear.

Before the next movie kicked off, it was time for Creepy to help find a new “Scream Queen.” The winner of this contest would get the honor of being in the upcoming Film Ranch International production called Carnevil. Check out the video below for our screaming contestants!

Once Uncle Creepy and the crowd narrowed the finalists down, it was time to start the next film. What was being slapped on our plate? Something involving Ken Foree, katanas and demonic strippers sound familiar? If you guessed Devil’s Den, then you are correct. It’s amazing that this direct-to-DVD film was a superior product both in execution and character design to that of the big budget Blade sequels. To check out more, see Creepy’s review.

After a brief intermission and a tribute to Tampa’s late horror host Dr. Paul Bearer, the festivities were back in action with the gross-out flick Flithy. You could almost drown yourself in the tension that the movie filled our audience with. Just talking about the film makes me a little sick, and that is when you know you’ve made a damn good horror flick!

Oh … now it was my time to shine. You see, I was put in charge of soaking down college girls, and one dude, with blood. The participants were given boxers and white t-shirts, but it was unfortunate that most of them kept their bras on. All of them except for one. Each of these babes was lucky enough to be in possession of killer racks. Just look at them! I was in mammary heaven!

A kiddy pool and jugs of red liquid were brought out onto the stage. Creepy could see the pure joy in my face. I was armed with a Super Soaker and had to practice pumping … the toy, you sick, sick bastards! The ladies (and one guy) were paraded in front of our audience. The looks coming towards the stage were that of fantastic lust. How often do you get to see women get soaked down with blood inside a college auditorium? It doesn’t come around frequently, and I was not about to let the fine fans down.

Here is what it was all about people! In my tiny mind this was the holy grail or the meaning of life. Hmmm, sounds a bit sad, doesn’t it? Remember what I was saying about only one of the ladies going braless? This woman here was not that one. Though she was the sexiest of the bunch, the ultimate prize, two Tampa Lightning tickets, went to the one willing to show the most skin. See if you can pick her out from the pictures below.

The evening was starting to wind down, but not before we were privied to one of the funniest splatter films I’ve seen in some time. Pervert! just cannot be beat when it comes to laughs and WTF moments. A killer penis is on the loose, but she takes a backseat to the gratuitous nudity, gross-outs and sex galore. The homicidal phallus does have its moment so shine however. It has detached itself from its host and is killing out of jealousy. A mix of claymation and puppet works bring the little prick to life, and it is hard not to love. The audience sure came to life during this picture; everything from “woos” to “oh my fucking god” rang out every few minutes. I strongly believe you should head over to DVD Empire and get a copy right now.

It was time to close out the show, but not without first finding out who was going to be the next “Scream Queen.” It was down to one of our Bloody T-Shirt girls and the actress Shade. A twist was in store for these two hopefuls. Not only did they have to out-scream each other, but they also had to fake an orgasm. If only there were more people there to see it. The winner was crowned at around midnight, and a lot of folks had left by then. Still the faithful (or horny) stayed around to see the goodies. Check out the second video below to find out who the winner was.

That was it. All the films had been shown and Creepy was well loved by all for being highly entertaining through the whole 6 hours. The fans were pleased, and we were proud to be a part of such an event that we hope to see more of in the future. Please, stay and enjoy a few more pictures! Even more can be found in my Blog.