‘Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered’ Panic Fest 2024 Review: A Character Study That Dreams Big
Chad Collins
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Nick Funess’ Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered certainly has an eye-catching title going for it. While it might seem conspicuously meta, an interrogation of the 1960s and 1970s, the slashers that, in key beats, amounted to just that title, Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered is less Blood and Black Lace, more Mulholland Drive. Funess and lead Samantha Carroll opt instead to probe the psychology of success and the lengths to which the average dreamer might go.
Hollywood-set horror that centers on stardom is nothing new. There’s David Cronenberg’s unclassifiable Maps to the Stars and the gore-heavy Starry Eyes, a personal favorite. If horror is meant to elucidate upon common fears, there are few quite as existential as the fear of failure, of setting out to achieve an impossible dream and falling short. It’s why so many horror protagonists are actors or writers, after all.
Carroll’s Stacy wants to act, ping-ponging between auditions and reads with tactical precision. Some go fine, others less so, though she at least has an ostensibly supportive cabal of friends willing to pass along roles or insights into open auditions. It’s not a life I know, but I’ve seen it depicted regularly enough in media to grasp the general gist, even as Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered opts for contextual broadness in lieu of something more personal to Stacy.
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What personality there is—and where Funess makes his mark—is the peripheral slaying of the titular blondes. A serial killer is knocking off aspiring actresses, though only once is such a death depicted on-screen. Instead, the murders are introduced in whispers and hushed tones, casual remarks shared between two friends outside Erewhon. Did you hear about that actress stabbed to death on the beach? Apparently, her face was cut off.
Stacy’s fixation on the killer yields a kind of pride. If she were stalked—maybe even killed—it might mean she’d made it. The killer, posing as a casting director, might himself have a kind of sixth sense into the women who will or will not find success in the industry.
Slight at just over an hour long, Carroll does good work. Carrying much of Young Blondes’ discordant narrative on her own, the enigmatic nature of her obsession becomes part and parcel with the point of it all, convincingly portrayed with a simple frown or bedtime ritual. While Funess’ feature doesn’t break new ground, organic casting and natural sets augment tension. Young Blondes is a small character study that dreams big. It gets very close to achieving those dreams.
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Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered
Summary
Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered is a small character study that dreams big.
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