Germany Issues a Crocodile Alert!

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How do you say “I can’t believe it’s not a Syfy original movie” in German? The Germans certainly love their nature run amok movies, and the latest Deutschland creature feature is the horror-comedy Crocodile Alert. As you may have already guessed, the movie is about a killer crocodile being hunted by a trio of zany Germans. Something tells me a “crocodile alert” won’t be as memorable as the “shark alarm“.

Synopsis:
Ann Berg, in her late twenties, is an ambitious intern in the Forensic Medicine department. While investigating a crime scene, she is shocked to find evidence of a crocodile attack. Judging by the unbelievably terrible damage it inflicted, it must really be a monster. The vicious beast must be in the river, but where? And when will it strike again?

Ann turns to the expert Mitch “Croc” McDearie for help. Mitch has hunted the huge and dangerous reptiles throughout the world. Once he was even the proud owner of a crocodile farm in the Everglades, but hard times have left him cleaning the snake cages at the local zoo. For a man used to living such an adventurous life, it’s far from being a dream job…

Mitch and Ann’s first encounter is hardly love at first sight. Now the difficult nature of the job naturally brings them closer together. Anyway, with the search for the deadly crocodile taking top priority, there’s very little time, if any, for romance. In the midst of their hunt they are attacked by an enormous crocodile. Barely able to escape the vicious beast, which completely destroys Ann’s car, the two vow to finally put an end to the reptile’s deadly rampage.

They soon discover that the wild crocodile is not their worst foe. It is instead the croc’s owner, Killiak, a disreputable and devious animal dealer who wants his valuable reptile back at all costs. When he learns that Mitch and Ann are dead-set on killing his crocodile, he sets out on his own deadly hunt. The situation takes on an even tougher dimension when Killiak kidnaps Mitch’s daughter. His demand: the girl in exchange for his captured crocodile, or else…

Crocodile Alert was directed by Simon X. Rost and stars Christian Tramitz, Doreen Jacobi, Dirk Bach, Oliver Masucci, Adele Neuhauser, and Alfonso Losa-Eßers. If you recognize any of those names, then you probably live in Germany.

Two things you should be aware of before you watch the trailer for Crocodile Alert. First, it’s in its native language and there are no subtitles. Even in that format you can probably deduce the fat comic relief sidekick is going to be extra annoying. More importantly, it sure as heck looks like they’ve included the end of the movie at the end of the trailer (unless there’s more than one killer croc in the flick).

Will we ever see Crocodile Alert in the United States? Possibly. These German b-movies keep trickling over to our shores at a fairly slow rate. Don’t be surprised to see it on DVD shelves in a year or two.

The Foywonder

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