Capps Crossing (2017)
Matt Boiselle
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Starring Brian Cory, Alex Acosta, Parker Alexander
Directed by Mike Stahl
Grab your backpacks and tents, little buckaroos – we’re goin’ camping YET AGAIN, but this time its those damn geo-cachers that are catching the sharp ends in the latest film from Mike Stahl, Capps Crossing.
The premise for this one is as plain as blood splattered on a nice white wall: lonely kook stalks unsuspecting goons in the woods…and get this – he kills them. Now, I don’t want anyone to get blown away by the crushing bout of diversity that we have here in this plot – just sit back and let it take you over – if an alcoholic beverage helps you get through, that’s completely understandable as well.
The name of the slaughtering ground is called Capps Crossing, and its somewhat of a camping hotspot, with even the local ranger offering it up as one of those “secret” locations to select groups. More often, the entire stretch is a haven for those folks known as geo-cachers: pseudo treasure-hunters that scour various locations through internet postings and GPS to reel in hidden goodies…but all they’ll find here is death (sounds pretty ominous, doesn’t it). Mike (Cory) is our killer-a-la-grande, (there’s no spoiler, so don’t get your skivvies in a bunch), and he’s quite the smoothie when it comes to meeting new victims – I mean friends. He’s crude in his techniques, yet they are effective if not a bit boring to set eyes upon.
As the movie drags on (boy does it), there’s an apparent Grand Canyon-like gap in this film’s cohesiveness, with ferociously wide stretches of time in between dialogue and action, and when some of our cast gets their inevitable offing, you probably wouldn’t care much more than I did, as the heap of this character conglomeration is as pedestrian and unlikable as one could fathom. Seriously, readers – this presentation is as paint-by-numbers as you can imagine, and while some of the scenery is pleasing to the eye, it’s not nearly enough to rescue you from the misery that is the 80+ minute runtime. Unless you cannot find anything else on to watch in your hour of summmertime-slashing, then maybe give this one a quick look, but other than that I’d suggest signalling a ranger for assistance…better yet, forget it – I’m sure he’s given up as well.
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Film
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