‘Here for Blood’ Review: Campy, Brutal, and F**king Awesome

Here for Blood

John Carpenter’s Halloween popularized the babysitter in peril trope and it has since been imitated countless times, with varying degrees of success. Daniel Turres’ Here for Blood has managed to execute on that very premise in a way that feels fresh and exciting. Here for Blood is hilarious, bloody as hell, and benefits from a pitch-perfect showing from leading man Shawn Roberts. 

Here for Blood sees struggling pro wrestler, Tom (Roberts) stepping in for his partner, Phoebe (Joelle Farrow), when she doesn’t have time to study for exams and babysit young Grace (Maya Misaljevic). The evening begins uneventfully enough but Tom’s childminding skills are put to the test when a band of otherwordly metalheads stage a home invasion and attempt to kidnap Tom’s young charge.   

Here for Blood is the rock-and-roll horror film I wanted Destroy All Neighbors to be. It has a similar energy and touches on some of the same thematic elements, but the execution is much slicker here. This film succeeds where Destroy All Neighbors struggled, thanks to a strong script from first-time screenwriter James Roberts. 

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The screenplay is effective for several reasons. One standout aspect is the comedic dialogue. Tom has so many brilliant lines and he delivers them with stone-cold sincerity. With dialogue like “We are under attack by a gang of sex perverts,” that’s no small feat. Roberts maintains his composure throughout and the film is better for it.  

In addition to gifting him with some great lines, Roberts also succeeds in scripting Tom as quite the endearing character. It’s hard not to immediately fall in love with him when one sees how seriously he takes this babysitting gig. I fully expected him to act like a Neanderthal for the first two acts and finally come around to see that children are people too after the third-act showdown. But I was pleasantly surprised that matters don’t play out like that. There aren’t a bunch of stupid gags relating to Tom being a fish out of water. The premise is introduced, we get a couple of good laughs, and the narrative moves along. A lot of screenwriters would have tried to mine the outlandish nature of the premise for maximum mileage but I’m glad Roberts didn’t go for the most obvious option here.   

After Here For Blood moves on from the outlandish nature of the premise, there are several moments where we get to see a softer side to Tom’s personality and a sweet dynamic emerges. When Grace mentions she watched her father pass away in the hospital, Tom instinctively asks her if she wants to talk about it. That’s unexpected and endearing; establishing him as a good dude and more than just a muscley snack. 

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Speaking of the dynamic between Tom and Grace, there’s a terrific exchange between them where Tom uses a swear word, and Grace recoils and scolds him. Taken aback that she’s so shocked by a curse word, Tom looks at Grace, stunned, and asks if she’s homeschooled. It’s a perfect response. He’s not being mean-spirited, he’s just genuinely surprised. That exchange sets up a series of callbacks where Grace begins swearing and justifies her language because Tom swore previously. Grace’s swearing continues to escalate throughout the film. And as someone who thinks children and the elderly using curse words is hilarious, I got a kick out of it each and every time. Especially considering that Grace has some particularly memorable one-liners. 

Another sweet but comical exchange sees Tom stomping the head of one of the home invaders to prove to Grace that the burglar is still alive. The film is filled with subtle flourishes like that which escalate the proceedings above the lowest common denominator humor. Here for Blood is continuously funny and the humor is continuously high quality. 

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Comedic aspects aside, I really dug the goopy practical effects. The arterial spray is introduced early and persists throughout. There’s a campy gleefulness to the gore that reminds me of The Evil Dead or maybe Dead Alive. Don’t get me wrong, this is a fairly different film from either of those aforementioned efforts. But the shameless display of unrealistic amounts of carnage juxtaposed alongside physical comedy certainly calls them to mind.  

If I have any critique, it’s that I found a particular third-act narrative development to be somewhat predictable. But I watch movies trying to predict the outcome. So, it’s not as if anything is painfully obvious. And that certainly didn’t lessen my enjoyment of the film as a whole. 

All things considered, I loved Here for Blood. You definitely don’t have to be a wrestling fan to appreciate this flick. It is a hilarious, gory romp with a strong performance from a lovable leading man. If you’re curious to check the flick out, you can do just that. Here for Blood is now streaming on Screambox!

  • ‘Here for Blood'
4.0

Summary

This oddball horror comedy is as charming as it is brutal.

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