When Aliens Attack Each Other
There was a time when it was always a unfortunate human fighting for their life against an unfriendly alien lifeform. Oh, how times have changed. Now all of a sudden it's the aliens that can't seem to get along with one another and we humans have to worry about getting caught in their crossfire. Now doubt this is fault of Alien vs. Predator, the film that clearly started all manner of extraterrestrial pissing contests.
Take for example the movie the Sci-Fi Channel is premiering on December 15th tentatively titled Showdown at Area 51. First of all, with a title like that I can't help but envision some Jackie Chan-type running around Area 51 beating the crap out of evil aliens with kung fu before they can get a chance to anal probe him. But no, it's just more alien-on-alien blood feuding. This one pits two rival aliens arriving on Earth in search of an all-powerful weapon that somehow ended up on our world. Jason London (Dracula II: Ascension, Dracula III: Legacy) and Christa Campbell (2001 Maniacs' "Milk Maiden") are amongst the human beings caught between the warring xenomorphs seeking the ultimate intergalactic weapon of mass destruction which they may or may not use on us once one of them gets it.
Now I described the title as tentative because the film's original title was Alien vs. Alien and Showdown at Area 51 is reportedly not firmly locked down as the broadcast title. Sci-Fi's changed a title after already scheduling a film before so we'll just to have to wait and see. Seems to me with it airing so closely to the opening of Alien vs. Predator: Requiem that going back to the original Alien vs. Alien titling, shameless as it may be, would be a smarter way to go. Again, we’ll see.
Know what else we'll see? A trailer for The Asylum's mockbuster AVH: Alien vs. Hunter set to hit DVD shelves on December 18th also designed to coincide with the release of a certain Alien vs. Predator sequel. You see there's this alien (that really does look like a rather rubbery carbon copy of the Alien alien) loose on our planet and this alien hunter (that from what little we see of it in the trailer looks like Master Chief from Halo) has beamed down to hunt it down. Toss in some random soldiers running around the woods, the staring prowess of Deedee Pfeiffer and William Kat (and his Gabe Kaplan-quality mustache), and you got yourself a recipe for more low rent alien in-fighting.
By all means, I encourage you to revel in the positively craptacular trailer for AVH, though I hesitate to call it a trailer since it really seems to be more of a collection of random shots strung together without any sense of purpose. That might also be because multiple inside sources have told me the film is an absolute catastrophe, not just the worst Asylum production ever, but quite possibly one of the worst movies of all time, thanks to an incompetent director who apparently gives the word "hack" a bad name. Maybe I'll pass along a few of those stories when I, no doubt, review Alien vs. Hunter in a few weeks. They're whoppers alright.
In the meantime, my alien brethren, can't we all just get along?
Heed the call for peace in the Dread Central forums!