The Best and Worst of 2007

The Buz's Picks

There was a lot of shit this year. I mean a lot of shit. I attempted however to stay away from this shit. I actually missed what many called the worst of the year (or even decade). Movies like The Hitcher and Hills Have Eyes 2 I avoided like the plague. Fuck paying money to see all that crap. A few stinkers did get let in though. But along with all the crap that came out this year, there were also many brilliant films that emerged. Ones that I am happy to say I did not miss. So in that foul year of 2007, I bring you my 5 best and 5 worse horror films of the year.

The Best and Worst of 2007

Blood Car 5. Blood Car - I picked this movie up on a whim thinking it would be low budget fodder that would just make me laugh. I enjoy a straight to DVD shit-fest every now and again. Hell it had the girl from My Girl in it! Had to be somewhat entertaining right? Not only was it hilarious though, it was hilarious for all the RIGHT reasons. I knew as soon as I popped the dvd in and the menu options were "Watch this fucker" and "Some shit about this fucker" I was in for a real treat. The movie is not a bad movie that you laugh at like Troll 2 or House of the Dead, but is generally very funny at times, and is shot beautifully. I have a hard on for cinematography so of course good DP (Director of Photography) work will always please me. A story about a vegan in the future where gas prices are $35 a gallon who creates a car that runs off of human blood and must find fuel and quick just worked so well on so many levels. And because it's not getting a whole lot of Buzz (I just used my name and vain!) I thought I would include it as my number 5 for best of the year.

4. Hatchet - It's not a remake, it's not a sequel and it's not a Japanese one. Hatchet just fucking rocks. A true gem from director Adam Green that made me feel like a horror geek again. It's rare that a throwback movie gets me excited for they usually fall right on their face. However, Hatchet was so much fun, so bloody, and so fucking over the top that I just got giddy and enjoyed the entire experience. It is also probably one of the best movies to watch with a big crowd. I would like to openly thank Adam Green for giving us Hatchet this year, as well as one of the best movie slashers, Victor Crowley. Rock on with yo' bad self, sir.

3. Fido - After Shaun of the Dead, I didn't think a zombie comedy could ever come close to tickling my funny bone the way Shaun did. Not to mention I was getting a big burned out on the zombie genre, especially after watching 10 minutes of Day of the Dead: Contiginumimmnusitous. However, Fido had me in tears. I literally rolled on the floor laughing at one point. The story is basically what you would get if Leave it to Beaver and Shaun of the Dead had a baby. That's Fido all over. The movie takes place in an alternate 50's reality in which zombies have been domesticated into house hold servants and chaos ensues when one zombie breaks free of his restraints. Brilliant film.

2. Grindhouse - It's the movie nobody saw in the theatres but should have. What a glorious, awesome, just fucking fun movie. I don't think I've ever had so much fun in a theatre. Watching both those films together just makes me happy, and the trailers in between are just fucking superb. And I'm still one of the people in the minority that likes Death Proof more than Planet Terror. Admittedly I do get up to use the restroom at the same exact point in DP every time I watch it, so maybe that's why it isn't so boring to me. Who knows, both movies fucking rock, and that's why they are #2 on my list of greatness.

1. Paranormal Activity - The movie you've all heard about, but probably haven't seen. You may be asking yourself why is this number one on my top 5 for the year? Well because this is a list of horror movies, and PA is the only movie that actually scared me this year, I'm putting it at numero uno. I've probably already over hyped the movie so much that no one will really find it as scary as I did, but man the first time I saw this flick I was truly terrified. Hell, the second time I watched it I was just as frightened. The best thing about this movie though is that it is so much fun to watch other people watch it. So hats off to one of the scariest films I've ever seen.

So that is my best of list for the year 2007. Some honorable mentions are needed though. First off, Wrong Turn 2 rocks and would definitely like to give that a shout out for making one kick ass crazy hillbilly movie. Other honorable mentions go to Fincher's Zodiac, 30 Days of Night, 1408, and of course Darabont's awesome Stephen King adaptation, The Mist. And though it hasn't come out yet, The Shark is Still Working is one of the single greatest documentaries on a film I've ever seen. It really needs a release date soon. It's a must see for any Jaws fan.

The Best and Worst of 2007

5. Primeval - Now first, don't get me wrong. For some odd reason I was tickled by this movie. And in the good way. There was just something about seeing Orlando Jones run through the African plains at full speed away from a 30 foot crocodile. That's just special. Does that make it a good movie though? No, it fucking sucks. Primeval is nothing more than just another animal run amok film, with a shitty social commentary. The reason I place it at number 5 and not lower is because it had some truly hilarious scenes in it, the two big ones being the one I already mentioned, and the fate of the crocodile hunter character. And no he does not get killed by a sting ray. Though, sadly, that would make me laugh too. I'm a bad man.

4. I Know Who Killed Me - You have to love a movie that has Lindsay Lohan doing a pole dance strip tease and then fucking some guy while her mom is down stairs. Right? As Lex Luthor would say: "WRONG!" If it wasn't for the multiple unintentional comedic moments and some of the surprisingly well shot scenes, I would have just shoved my head up my own ass in fear of seeing any more. Really what I wanted to do with this one was just write: WTF. That would be my entire reasoning for why it is number 4 on my worst list. Fuck it, I don't need any more reasoning. There you go. I Know Who Killed Me sucks.

3. Ghost Rider - Again I found some extreme humor in this Nic Cage cheese fest. Some might argue it's not horror, but the comic sure as hell is so I'm including it. Plus it was just plain bad, well for a horror film anyways. As a comedy, I'd put it at number one on the best list. What's up with Nic Cage and in being in some of the best comedies of the past years? Wicker Man, Next, and Ghost Rider. The man is a comedic genius! And let's give it up for Eva Mendez for literally sucking all life and substance out of any scene she is in. Not to mention the main villain that just walked out of Hot Topic and decided he wanted to kill shit. Good job at sucking guys, really. My thoughts and prayers go out to Sam Elliot. Sorry you went through that, man. What a complete waste of film.

2. The Messengers - I almost feel as if this little piece of cinematic poop has been forgotten. Not surprising really since it is one of the most utterly forgettable, and mediocre films ever made. This year was full of bad twist ending films, but for me The Messengers takes the prize home for having the worst. The dude from My Big Fat Greek Wedding did it? That deserves a big what the fuck. The acting is bad, the writing is atrocious, and just everything sucks all around. This movie was full of fail and should be voted off the island.

1. Rob Zombie's Halloween - If you were to look up "Bucket of Fail" on Urban Dictionary you would find the definition of a bucket of fail, which this movie is. I know probably half of the other horror journalists out there probably put this as their number one worst as well, and while I try to be different and unique, this movie is just so fucking terrible that it deserves its universal recognition as being a pile of crap. No other movie this year has pissed me off, made me physically inept, and made me want to punch babies more than Rob Zombie's Halloween. I didn't even see the theatrical cut of it either. I only saw the work print, and it was still the worst movie I saw this year. I don't know at what point it hit me that I was watching a shit-fest, but I'm pretty sure it was ALH (After Love Hurts). So far, Zombie is 1 and 2 for me. Devil's Rejects is amazing, but I would love to see the guy branch out of his white trash bullshit. This movie just blows. A big steaming turd that is worse to watch than read IMDB forum comments. That is why it is my number 1 worst movie of 2007.

Now admittedly I didn't see uber shit (at least I'm told is uber shit) like The Hitcher, Dead Silence, and Hills Have Eyes 2 so maybe my list is a little off. I'll deal with it though since I didn't melt my brain with that other shit. I do have a few dishonorable mentions though. First off, Alien vs Hunter deserves a mention. It was terrible. But I knew it was going to be terrible, and I felt nothing for it. No spite or venom to throw at it so I left it off the list. Then there is Spider-Man 3. Is it horror? Well using the transitive property it sure is. See, Ghostbusters is a horror comedy, and since Spider-Man 3's ending is essentially the ending of Ghostbusters' (Stay Puft Marshmallow Sandman, Venom the Destructor, etc), that makes Spider-Man 3 a horror comedy action movie. And it fucking sucks.

That's it for me. This year has been full of win and fail. I'm just glad I was able to catch most of the win and dodge most of the fail. See you all next year. This is The Buz, signing off.



Tristan Sinns's picture

I totally forgot about Tooth and Nail until late last night, that horrible piece of crap. I think it was a repressed memory. Please consider it the sixth worst film of the year. Or the first. It deserves both. Ugh!

Submitted by Tristan Sinns on Sat, 01/05/2008 - 1:03pm.
DW Bostaph Jr's picture

Let me know what you think when u see them. Completely different films, but both as cerebral as you can get.

Submitted by DW Bostaph Jr on Sat, 01/05/2008 - 1:00pm.

DWBJr, based on how similar our lists were (i hadn't seen AVPR when i wrote my list, and i didn't think to include the brilliant Sweeney Todd) i'm going to be checking out Cthuhlu and Death Note first chance I get.

Submitted by plagiarize on Sat, 01/05/2008 - 9:48am.
admin moderator Cinematic Socialism? You
Jon Condit's picture

Cinematic Socialism? You can be a film commie if you want to, leave me out.

Submitted by Jon Condit on Sat, 01/05/2008 - 12:25am.

There's no mistery about it Terminal... Johnny was mistified at to why people keep talking about The Mist, because he mist the start of the mist-cussion where people were mist-cussing their favourite mist-vies from last mist, and it seems mist people here had mist-ues with The Fog... err... sorry... The Mist!

Submitted by PelusaMG on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 7:33pm.
Terminal's picture

I mist was Johnny was talking about, I was very mistifyed by his misterious anger toward miscussing the mist.

Submitted by Terminal on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 7:15pm.
Terminal's picture

Have either of your schmucks seen the "Death Note" series? If you think the movies rocked, wait till you get a load of the series. Wow.

Submitted by Terminal on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 7:13pm.
Melissa Bostaph's picture

WOW...I'm in trouble and didn't even know it... haha!

Honestly I could have filled a dozen WORST lists with the crap that I get from Foy, Kryten, and even Steve! Hello! He's the one that pawned Microwave Massacre off on me! LOL!

One reason I didn't include that and other titles like it are because they were not actually released in 2007.

Another reason is because I wanted to let people know that there are those of us out there who don't like every film that Hollywood puts out even if everyone else seems to.

I'd rather just talk up films that deserve it...and not give free press to those that don't.

Submitted by Melissa Bostaph on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 3:54pm.
DW Bostaph Jr's picture

There is SO much shit out thee, and being involved with the Horror Fest and judging and all, it gets old. I could compile a list of shit a mile long, but what is the point of bashing something like Microwave Massacre? No body cares about that type of crap, and going into the film I was not expecting anything but a shitfest.

Movies like 30 Days of Night, Halloween lead us to believe that they are going to be good. We got promises and sneak peeks and jerked off all day long, but in the end thy are just shit. And people need to know that they are so, IT IS OUR responsibility to do so. Why? Because these are the films on eveyone's minds. When there is a breakaway such as Cthulhu or Netherbeast or Blood Car then it is our responsibility to tell people about it so THEY see it. It is kind of lopsided that way but we are about quality. When it is promised but not delivered on, we point it out. And when we find a nice goldmine, we scream it to the heavens so all can enjoy...

Call it Cinematic Socialism.

Submitted by DW Bostaph Jr on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 3:49pm.
Morgan Elektra's picture

You hush up, Johnny Butane... or I will call you up and leave you long Mist-related voicemail messages. I can do it too. I am the Queen of long voicemail messages. :-P

Submitted by Morgan Elektra on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 3:33pm.

Mist? Mist, Mist, Mist, Mist, Mistity Mist!

Submitted by Kryten Syxx on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 3:19pm.
Johnny Butane's picture

Oh my God, stop talking about The Mist.

Submitted by Johnny Butane on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 3:05pm.
Morgan Elektra's picture

WIB, lucky for me I didn't see any of those films you mentioned. ;)

Of the films I saw this year, Halloween was definitely one of the worst.... decent production quality doesn't save a bad story in my book.

Submitted by Morgan Elektra on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 1:54pm.

"or any number of other movies people listed in their Bottom 5 as being the ultimate in "bad" movies when there's stuff like Captivity, The Hitcher, Microwave Massacre (Melissa, I'm talking to you!), and other real garbage to choose from."

simply put, i didn't see those movies. not being a movie reviewer around this parts, i'm only subjected to the bad movies i choose to watch. if something is slammed by someone i trust like The Hitcher uniformly was, i'm not going to go see it.

Submitted by plagiarize on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 1:45pm.

My problem with The Mist was that, we get the escape, then we get five minutes of crossfades on driving, driving, driving, then bam! (um..literally, I guess) and then he reacts, then BAM! again. To me, the movie needed a good at LEAST five, ten minutes more for the ending to work.

I think it's a terrific idea and I commend Darabont for thinking it up and actually using it, I just don't think it was well executed. I understand that it was not a tacked on thing or a reshoot, but it definitely FELT like that to me.

As for Hatchet, in the 80s it's a shitty, straight-to-video slasher that isn't funny or scary, and has boring, stupid cardboard characters, but somehow 20 years later it's some amazing old-school classic? If it was made in the 80s it would be one of those movies like The Burning that is remembered fondly, mostly for the gore effects, and then when it's finally released on DVD 20 years later, everyone buys it or rents it and when they watch it they realize why it's remembered almost exclusively for the gore effects.

I am a HUGE slasher fan and am absolutely down for a cool, old school slasher flick to come out and kick my ass with suspense, gore and nudity. This movie just sucked. It's possible I saw movies that were worse, but this had all the build up and it's being championed by horror fans, horror websites, horror magazines...and it's just a boring, unfunny, unscary piece of shit. Most disappointing moviegoing experience of the year for me. And to me, when a movie like that turns out to be crap, it's far worse than something like the Hitcher remake, which sucked, but we all KNEW it was going to suck, so who cares?

Submitted by G.D. on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 1:39pm.
moderator For me, just not liking
Debi Moore's picture

For me, just not liking something doesn't make it one of the year's worst. I think you have to take into account the whole picture -- writing, acting, effects, cinematography, etc., etc. I can't stand Swank and didn't much care for The Reaping, but it had enough redeeming qualities to make me realize putting it on my worst list would have meant I was taking it too personally rather than judging it on its overall merits. Which is, again, why I can't understand how anyone could consider The Mist, RZ's Halloween, or any number of other movies people listed in their Bottom 5 as being the ultimate in "bad" movies when there's stuff like Captivity, The Hitcher, Microwave Massacre (Melissa, I'm talking to you!), and other real garbage to choose from.

Can you feel the thirst?

I'll see you on the other side . . .

Submitted by Debi Moore on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 1:28pm.
Blockbuster's picture

I'M going to go on record and say that I liked the Unrated Director's Cut of Halloween and the way IT ended...much better than the original version of that movie that I saw...and Hatchet was fucking awesome. There. I said it.

Submitted by Blockbuster on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 1:05pm.
Morgan Elektra's picture

I saw the end coming too... that 'Promise me you won't let the monsters get me, no matter what' line was a pretty dead give away. But I don't think it was conveyed at all that those characters thought there escape was a last ditch effort. Yes, David expressed doubts with his plan, but the whole point of doing it anyway was that he felt he had to do SOMETHING. That they couldn't just stay there. Amanda even says 'I'd rather die out there trying than in here waiting.' But then they don't. They die out there giving up. After not even going very far. Without any further discussion. And they thought enough ahead to sneak food and pack it, and plan a before dawn departure to avoid Ms. Carmody's people and the monsters, but not what was going to be done when they ran out of gas? It was sloppy writing. THAT'S what made me angry.

Submitted by Morgan Elektra on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 12:55pm.

Here's the thing, if you had taken some of the religious nuts in the store, had them driving off in the jeep and then had that ending, you would have been cheering at the screen... it is only because it were them there descent folks who got stiffed which makes it so controversial.

Submitted by PelusaMG on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 12:38pm.

i guess i just saw the escape from the store as those character's last hopes. heck, even David expressed doubts about his own plan before they left the store. they'd left with the belief that this was their last hope, and they found no hope, no other people, just beasts in the mist. the store became more dangerous than that outside it. so they took their chances, and ultimately ran out of options. i didn't see the decision as one of desperation, or madness. i saw it as a conscious choice under extreme circumstances that i'd seen coming since the kid asked his dad not to let the monsters get him.

Submitted by plagiarize on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 12:32pm.
Morgan Elektra's picture

"in that case it would be a fault of the ending but of him failing to convey well enough the emotional state of the characters to justify his planned ending."

Exactly. Which I feel is poor writing on his part. As someone on the forums said, if he had spent even just five or ten additional minutes chronicalling a downward spiral of despair for those characters once they left the supermarket, then the ending would have contextually made sense. As it stands, however, there is nothing to indicate that these characters have reached their limit and are hopeless... and in fact, several things that argue otherwise. Which is what pissed me, and I know many other people, off so much about that ending.

Submitted by Morgan Elektra on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 12:18pm.
Sirand's picture

I can understand people falling into the hype about Hatchet and being underwhelmed...but WORST OF THE YEAR? C'mon...

Submitted by Sirand on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 12:01pm.

i can't and don't pretend to talk for why it made people angry. i know a lot of people that were angry about how bleak and upsetting it was. at the character for doing what he did. he's angry at himself (as i was with him) though, and it's meant to be bleak and upsetting.

i saw those characters as already starting to lose hope before they left the store. i saw those characters as preferring to take their chances with the monsters outside than stay with the other people.

darabont wanted that ending... he built to it... it wasn't a late idea or a reshoot. i don't know what you think he was building the characters towards, but it obviously isn't what he actually was building them towards. in that case it would be a fault of the ending but of him failing to convey well enough the emotional state of the characters to justify his planned ending.

the message i took away from The Mist was 'in times of crisis people can do inhuman things for what seems like valid reasons at the time, but they have to live with those actions afterwards'. i think that's pretty consistantly threaded all the way through, if being strongest at the end.

Submitted by plagiarize on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 11:58am.
moderator Here's my thing ... I know
Steve Barton's picture

Here's my thing ... I know opinions are opinions but when a year is riddled with so many cinematic abominations how a little flick like Hatchet makes it into the top 5 worst on anyone's list really boggles my mind.

Submitted by Steve Barton on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 11:51am.

And I'd like to say that I really appreciate that a couple people put Hatchet on their worst list. What a fucking disappointment that was. Admittedly, some of the gore was nice, but what a bad movie.

Word to the wise, Mr Green. When you make a splatter comedy (whether the comedy is good or bad...and I personally thought it was pretty bad), please PLEASE don't try to tell me that it's "old school horror" because it most certainly is not.

Submitted by G.D. on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 10:29am.

I'll go on record as someone who liked the ending of The Mist is concept, but not so much in execution.

That said, how can the fact that so many people hated the movie be a testimony to how good it is? I don't understand...

Submitted by G.D. on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 10:09am.
Morgan Elektra's picture

I think you're off on WHY some of us are angry about the ending of The Mist, Ryan. It's not because it was bleak... it's because, like Melissa said, it went against everything Darabont had brilliantly established for those characters up to that point. I'm angry with what I consider a poorly written ending to a well written movie. And I really hope that wasn't done on purpose.

Submitted by Morgan Elektra on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 9:27am.

i have to say i'm surprised so many of you guys didn't like the ending of The Mist. sure it's probably the bleakest ending ever... but the fact that it hurts and angers so many people is a testimony to how good it is, at least in my opinion. i think we're probably so used to only getting angry at bad movies, that when a film legitimately makes us angry we presume that it wasn't trying to.

Submitted by plagiarize on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 7:30am.
Terminal's picture

That's not fair, there's not much here I disagree with. Bastards. Hatchet good but overblown, Disturbia overrated as a mofo, and Halloween sucked, yep there's not much room here to disagree.

Submitted by Terminal on Fri, 01/04/2008 - 1:57am.

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