The industry site Tracking B has confirmed a rumor going ‘round the net that the one and only Natalie Portman is set to topline David (Pineapple Express) Gordon’s remake of Suspiria.
The details are scarce, but it seems agency Creative Artists is out shopping the film around with Portman’s name on it, more than likely in the role filled by Jessica Harper in the 1977 original, that of a young dancer who attends a remote ballet school and is soon aware of some nefarious things going on behind the scenes.
How this remake will turn out is anybody’s guess, but chances are Gordon will, smartly, take a more linear approach to the story rather than try to duplicate Argento’s Technicolor nightmare. More as we learn it!
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Submitted by Johnny Butane on Wed, 08/06/2008 - 1:18pm.
I think Portman is a great actress, gorgeous too...And thank you UC for that laugh...That was comedic brilliance.
Submitted by Didn't See It Coming on Sun, 08/10/2008 - 5:26pm.
"I think Portman is a great actress, gorgeous too..."
Yes, yes, I agree with you totally - but she could still do with having slightly bigger breasts!
Submitted by PelusaMG on Sun, 08/10/2008 - 11:16pm.
I'll only see it if Portman is attached. Otherwise, fuck this.
Submitted by Terminal on Sun, 08/10/2008 - 3:03am.
Wooooooooo!! MOTORBOAT!!!!
I need a cold shower.
Submitted by Blockbuster on Fri, 08/08/2008 - 3:24pm.
Portman is only ever as good as her director pushes her to be.
She can alternately be dazzling (V FOR VENDETTA) or crap (STAR WARS).
Although I'll go to my grave thinking that Angela Bettis should have been cast in this movie. Surely no other modern actress has that bird-like fragility that Jessica Harper had.
Submitted by Cash Bailey on Fri, 08/08/2008 - 2:52am.
I'd say that the ONLY films she hasn't been impressive in were the STAR WARS films, and that blame falls squarely on Lucas' shoulders. That's what happens when you have actors perform alone in front of green screens, then paste their heads from one take onto bodies from another. For pete's sake, he made Sam Jackson boring - that really takes some doing.
She's great in everything else she's done.
Extra props to Portman for actually being trained in ballet.
Oh, and Bettis is just too old now.
Submitted by Messiahman on Fri, 08/08/2008 - 2:58am.
She evokes no emotion in me whatsoever when I see her on screen. At least with Jessica Alba I can get pissed that she's giving a shitty performance, with Portman ... it's nothing. I couldn't careless who her character is or what she's doing. I'd like to blame that on Lucas-taint, but I don't think that's it.
And Pineapple Express wasn't a bad movie in the least. It was entertainingly uncomfortable.
Submitted by Kryten Syxx on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 7:15am.
I'm still not clear on something - have you seen her in anything aside from the prequels? Have you seen any of the films I mentioned?
Submitted by Messiahman on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 2:04pm.
I think Portman is cute as a button, but like you, she evokes nothing in me. She strikes me as utterly vapid and vacuous.
And yes, I know what I just said will probably get me slammed as being uneducated, ill informed and probably gay. But I gots to call it as I sees it.
Submitted by DavidFullam on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 10:33am.
I won't slam you, only question you a bit. Vapid and vacuous? Really?
From interviews alone, she comes off smart as a whip. She's very serious, not at all some Hollywood party girl - in fact, she graduated from Harvard with a 4.0. average, and she's even published in several scientific journals.
Vapid and vacuous? I'd say that she's actually smarter than about 90 percent of the members of this board.
Submitted by Messiahman on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 1:52pm.
I stand by what I said. I will say this, she is not on the vapid level of say Wynona Ryder.
Submitted by DavidFullam on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 8:01pm.
Stand by it all you want -- I just completely disproved what you said.
Did Winona Ryder graduate from Harvard with a 4.0? Did she serve as an assistant to Alan friggin' Dershowitz? Did she publish in multiple scientific journals? Did she contribute to a revolutionary frontal lobe activation study? Did she appear on PBS to participate in an in-depth examination of microfinance?
Portman did all of this. Because she's one damned intelligent, serious, thoughtful lady. Smarter than most of her audience, it seems.
Name me another actress with this many intellectual accomplishments. For that matter, do YOU have this many intellectual accomplishments?
Sorry, dude, you're wrong. There's nothing at all vapid about her. She's the perfect package -- heavy on brains, talent and beauty.
Submitted by Messiahman on Fri, 08/08/2008 - 2:14am.
I wasn't saying she wasn't smart, I was saying I don't find her appealing as an actress. Like Kryten said, it's an opinion. They are like assholes, everybody has one. If you think she's the greatest thing since sliced bred, I can live with that. It's just not something I happen to agree with.
Submitted by DavidFullam on Fri, 08/08/2008 - 9:45am.
Well, "vapid and vacuous" generally refer to one's intelligence. Vacuous means lacking intelligence, in fact. So yeah, you kinda were saying she isn't smart.
Submitted by G.D. on Fri, 08/08/2008 - 12:00pm.
It's not that she's just smart and beautiful. She's also magic! I hear if you rub her left tit (counterclockwise) she'll grant you three wishes.
Submitted by Gus Bjork on Fri, 08/08/2008 - 10:03am.
I think rubbing her left tit would be one of my three wishes...with the remaining two being rubbing the right one, capped off with a big motorboat finish.
Submitted by Sam Hell on Fri, 08/08/2008 - 11:24am.
Talk about her education and discuss if she's smart and talented or just a hack, I really don't care. But talk about nipple swirling and motorboating and I'll come in pumping my fists in the air. Yeah boobies!!
Personally I like her in almost anything she does. Like I said before, a remake might be good. Maybe it would make a little more sense this time around.
Submitted by frank_dracman on Fri, 08/08/2008 - 1:04pm.
"in fact, she graduated from Harvard with a 4.0. average, and she's even published in several scientific journals."
Yes, she covered all this in her Gangsta rap!
Submitted by Uncle Creepy on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 2:18pm.
That Gangsta rap only serves to make her hotter!
Submitted by Messiahman on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 2:28pm.
Indeed!
Submitted by Uncle Creepy on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 2:40pm.
The remake trend has almost killed all my good will for this subgenre, but this one interests me. Anytime a real director like Green gets attached to a film like this, I'm at least willing to see the outcome.
I really like the original (probably not as much as most, but it's still pretty great), but I don't have a problem with any of the decisions they've made so far. "George Washington" is easily one of the best films of the decade, so this is great. I haven't seen "Pineapple Express" quite yet.
Submitted by What The Cat Dr... on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 1:44am.
Actually MM, it is called an opinion.
Submitted by Kryten Syxx on Wed, 08/06/2008 - 10:03pm.
Opinions only count when they have some sort of factual basis. You made a bland, baseless assertion, not a calculated opinion. Have you seen any of the films I referenced? Maybe you should, y'know, base an opinion on her actual body of work. You just wrote her off as talentless - I stated specific examples that prove otherwise.
Hell, CLOSER alone proves my point, as she gives a shaded, multi-layered performance in it. She was rightfully nominated for an Oscar for it, in fact.
Portman's someone who primarily picks challenging character roles, as opposed to Jessica Alba schlockers. Roles that she can sink her teeth into, that require actual skill. She's widely considered to be one of the best actors of her generation. The only films she didn't register in were Lucas' prequels, but NO ONE registered in those, thanks to poor writing and Lucas digitally cutting and pasting performances. Even Sam Jackson was dull in those.
Regardless, Green casting Portman goes a LONG way toward getting my good will. It shows that he's actually looking to cast REAL ACTORS.
Submitted by Messiahman on Wed, 08/06/2008 - 11:45pm.
I gotta agree with MM here -- Portman is definitely one of the most talented actresses of her generation. Closer and Garden State both prove the point ... as does V for Vendetta. I don't know how anyone can see her in those 3 drastically diverse roles and say she's not truly gifted and working her craft to the utmost.
Submitted by The Woman In Black on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 12:14pm.
Plus ... she's a gangsta rapper!
Click here to see Nattie P bring it!
Submitted by Uncle Creepy on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 1:11pm.
Can someone PLEASE explain to me what the big damn deal is about Suspiria? I've seen it and didn't get it at all...seriously.
Submitted by Blockbuster on Wed, 08/06/2008 - 8:42pm.
im gonna say its an atmosphere thing...the psychedelic colors and the awesome music contribute heavily to an admitedly thin story. but the story's thinness kind of adds to the trippy experience, since stuff happens that isn't really explained or rational. The whole thing is kind of like a fever-dream. I'm not saying its the greatest movie ever or anything, but my appreciation of it increases each time I see it.
Still not as good as Deep Red though.
Submitted by syd13 on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 10:18am.
It had really pretty colors.
Submitted by Spaceshark on Wed, 08/06/2008 - 9:15pm.
Yep. That's about what I got out of it too.
Submitted by Uncle Creepy on Wed, 08/06/2008 - 11:54pm.
I want Emmy Rossum in this. (Since there's really no point in bitching about its existence...)
Submitted by Spaceshark on Wed, 08/06/2008 - 8:29pm.