DVD Release List: Best & Worst
Johnny Butane
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You’ll be getting both when the following DVDs hit on May 15th, 2007…
Bleeding Rose (2007)
Directed by Kareem A Bland
Well, the synopsis I found didn’t really make any sense, so I’ll try my best here… A girl is stalked by a demonic serial killer whose only interest is killing the people she loves. To make matters worse, her friends are suspects so she can trust no one. She has to look into her dark past and confront her demons in order to bring this madness to an end, but needless to say said end is not pleasant for pretty much anyone involved. Something relating to a broken heart has something to do with it, too. Buy it here!
Creepshow 3 (2007)
Directed by James Dudelson
This, friends, is the “worst” referred to in the title. You’re really not going to find a worse DVD than this all year, I don’t care how much you may have hated any theatrical release out there. This is not just a bad film; it’s an abomination. It is a slight against the good name of Creepshow that George Romero established with Stephen King many years ago; truly this is one of the worst things ever made. Please do not see it because I wrote that either; there are better things you can do with your life, believe me. Read Creepy’s DVD review of Creepshow 3 if you need more convincing. DON’T buy it here!
Curse of the Zodiac (2007)
Directed by Ulli Lommel
Here’s another one of those films that could and should be piled in the “worst” category: the latest Hollywood rip-off from Boogeyman hack director Ulli Lommel. Though it’s been years since the man did anything, now all of a sudden he’s one of horror’s most prolific filmmakers. God knows why. The story, as it were, is inspired by the real-life case of the Zodiac Killer, but something tells me it takes place in present day with the killer’s spirit taking over new hosts or something equally as cheesy. Buy it here!
Gothic Vampires From Hell (2007)
Directed by Ford Austin
The story of a band called Gothic Vampires From Hell (who said subtlety is dead?) and their run-ins with the bloodsucking freaks in the music business. I’m not being cute either; the two girls from Gotham Records they sign with end up being actual vampires out for some yummy human plasma. If nothing else, the soundtrack sounds like it might be pretty kicking with bands like Electric Hellfire Club and Switchblade Symphony appearing. Buy it here!
The Kovak Box (2007)
Directed by Daniel Monzon
The story of The Kovak Box is simple: A sci-fi writer, played by Timothy Hutton, is invited to an island for a conference only to discover he’s been lured into a trap. A deadly trap, at that. The first thing that should’ve tipped him off that something was amiss was the fact that the conference was on a freakin’ island! Everyone knows writers aren’t allowed on islands, sci-fi or otherwise. They drive down the property value due to their binge drinking. Or is that Native Americans? I can never remember. Buy it here!
Masters of Horror: Right to Die (2006)
Directed by Rob Schmidt
One of the better entries in the second season, at least from what I’ve seen of it so far, “Right to Die” is the story of a husband dealing with the fact that his wife is now covered in burns from head to toe and determining whether she would want to live that way or not. Of course, his choice is complicated by the fact that every time she does shuffle the mortal coil, she ends up killing someone in increasingly nasty ways. Check out our DVD review of “Right to Die” for more! Buy it here!
Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)
Directed by Guillermo del Toro
And this, my fiends, is the “best” I was referring to. You can try all you want, but you won’t likely find a better dark fairy tale than Guillermo del Toro’s masterpiece. The story is of a girl who is forced to live with her Fascist stepfather so her mother can survive in 1944. She retreats into a fantasy world where she meets a faun, who tells her she is actually a long-lost princess and she has to complete three tasks to prove her worthiness before she’s allowed back into her kingdom. Words can’t describe how good this movie is, but I tried anyway in my DVD review of Pan’s Labyrinth, so check it out! Buy it here!
The Perfect Marriage (2007)
Directed by Douglas Jackson
I’m telling you guys, someone over at Lionsgate Home Entertainment really has a thing for images of bound women. Seems like every other week they have a new title hitting shelves with a picture similar to this on it. I really think they need to try something new for once; maybe a nice sunny flower? Or a field of tulips? Might as well, as you rarely see anything resembling their DVD covers in the actual movie anyway, right? Oh, and for those interested, the film is about a woman who creates a new identity for herself so she can escape the one man who knows what happened to her former husband. Buy it here!
The Thirst (2007)
Directed by Jeremy Kasten
The story of a pair of recovering addicts who are recruited into an underworld of sex and gore by a group of vampires, The Thirst is the latest from Attic Expeditions director Jeremy Kasten. I guess every indie director has to do at least one vampire movie, right? At least this one’s got Jeremy Sisto in it! Check out Deb’s DVD review of The Thirst for more! Buy it here!
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