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Dread Central's Best & Worst of 2008





The Buz's Picks

The Best and Worst of 2008

I unfortunately seem to be the only one on the site who hasn't seen Let the Right One in, so my list will have to do without it. However, I still saw some really good stuff this year.

5. Stuck: As far as movies making you squirm go, Stuck is one of the most unnerving and fucked up movies I've seen in the past decade. Stewart Gordon returns in full fledge awesome with the tale of a homeless man who gets lodged into a windshield by a hapless woman who leaves him there, alive, in her garage ... still stuck in the windshield. Fantastic movie that will make you both cringe and cheer.

Teeth DVD Review4. Teeth: This one may be pushing it for having it on a 2008 list since it screened first at the tail end of 2007, but I saw it this year on DVD so I'm putting it here. There are three things in the world that terrify me; sharks, vaginas with teeth, and spiders. Teeth only has one of these things, but it still managed to frighten me just as bad as the other two would have combined. Teeth is so monumentally fucked up, scary, and hilarious that I watched it a second time right after my first viewing. Not only is it a bleak satire, but also a warning to any guy who's thinking about having his way with a helpless lady. No man wants his dick chomped on, and boy, do a lot of guys get the cut in this flick. It's so fucked up. I will forever be bringing a flashlight and some goggles with me every time I go down south on a woman just to make sure there isn't something waiting for me down there. Teeth rules.

3. Cloverfield: You know what I like? Godzilla movies and roller coasters. You know what Cloverfield was? It was like a Godzilla roller coaster. Very rarely these days do I actually have fun seeing a movie in the theater. It usually smells like piss and shit, there's a kid crying somewhere, and for some reason I can't get the taste of copper out of my mouth. With Cloverfield those things only added to the awesomeness of the movie. Was it the best movie ever? Not by a long shot, but I had fucking fun. And that's why I'm throwing it as number 3 on my best of list.

2. Repo! The Genetic Opera: This movie is pure fried gold on a win stick. There are so many things I want to say about this movie and all of it good. The music is fucking awesome (I'm listening to the soundtrack now as I write this), the acting is top-notch, the cinematography gave me an erection, and it's an all-around amazing movie. Easily the new Rocky Horror, I found myself singing the songs when I didn't even know all the words! The best rock opera I've ever seen. Some of the most fun I've had at the theater in a long time, and I loved every second of it. If you get the chance to see this movie, go see it. The Graverobber is worth the price the admission alone.

1. The Signal: I've ranted and raved about this movie since the moment I saw it, and I will continue to do so here. The Signal is the best horror film I've seen in a long, long time. Not only is it a great movie, it's extremely inspirational to any independent filmmaker. It's original and has fantastic cinematography, great acting, and a very peculiar three-act structure that is just all-around awesome. I cannot say enough good things about this movie. Easily the best horror movie of the year, and one of the best horror movies of the past 20 years.

Honorable Mentions:

Paranormal Activity: I'd put it on my list, but it's not out just yet (I also put it on my list last year and will continue to do so until its release).

Midnight Meat Train: Not the best horror movie of the year, but goddammit it was original and I gotta give it credit for doing something unique.

The Dark Knight: Not exactly horror but it's sooooo fucking good.

The Best and Worst of 2008

Back in the day I used to love to watch bad movies and laugh at them and point out how absurd and awful they were. Then of course come on the Internet and trash them to others who love to watch bad movies. However, these days I find myself having less and less patience for bad movies. When I know something is going to be bad, why waste those two hours of my life on it? I can be doing something far better with that time. That's why I didn't waste my time watching movies like One Missed Call, Prom Night, or any of the other horribly atrocious flicks that came out this year. I just didn't care enough. So you won't find those movies on my worst of the year list. However, there were some that slipped through the cracks that I somehow found myself watching that stole roughly 10 hours of my life away. Ten hours I will never get back.

5. Diary of the Dead: You may be asking yourself why Diary of the Dead is on my worst list. Surely there are far worse movies that came out this year! This is true. However, unlike the rest of the movies on this list, I thought Diary of the Dead was going to be good. It's George Romero and zombies dammit! Diary was not just a horrible movie, it was utterly disappointing. I came out of the theater feeling drained, angry, and betrayed. Why, George? Why did you do that to me? The worst part about it? There is a great movie in there somewhere. However, the forced narration, the pretentious forgettable characters, and the tacked on music make it a contrived piece of shit. I really wish I could like it. There is definitely something good there. I just don't have the patience to sift through all of the shit to find the hidden pearl.

4. Saw V: Do I even need to write an explanation as to why this movie sucked? No. I don't. Saw V was terrible, and I hope my eyes are never forced to watch it again. I want my $8.50 back, Lionsgate.

 The Tribe(click for larger image3. Lost Boys: The Tribe: This movie really should have been called “We stopped trying!” From the strange incestuous relationship of the two leads to the Jim Morrison knock-off lead vampire, this straight-to-DVD sequel to the classic Lost Boys is utter trash. All I could do to keep myself from smashing my face into the TV out of despair was to quietly quote Doors songs whenever Angus Sutherland was on screen. Even that wasn't enough to halt my sheer contempt for this pile of garbage.

2. Day of the Dead (2008): I've sat here for five minutes trying to decide how to tell all those reading that this movie is awful. But I can't. This movie killed so many of my brain cells that I honestly cannot think of anything creative to say about how bad this movie sucks. I mean it really fucking blows. From Cirque du Soleil Zombies to Nick “Drop your drumsticks” Cannon's embarrassing performance, this movie is just downright awful and earns the number two spot on my worst of list. Why number two? Because it's a piece of shit.

1. April Fool's Day (2008): Where to begin with this piece of utter shit? It's boring, poorly directed, shot, acted, you name it. Everything about this movie is bad. I kept waiting for the filmmakers to pop out halfway through, yell “Surprise!” and ass rape me all the way to Tiananmen Square. It's profoundly bad, almost in a deep shallow poetic way. If you ever decide to sit down and watch this movie, make a game out of it. Sit down with a bottle of Jack and a hand gun and just see how long you can last. It's like an endurance test. But seriously, don't EVER watch this flick. It pains me to even give it the attention of writing this up. Easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen, as well as the number one worst movie of the year.

Dishonorable Mention:
The Happening -- “Doesn't anyone care about the bees?”

[Andrew Kasch]

[The Foywonder]

[Nomad]

[The Buz]

[Morgan Elektra]

[Debi "The Woman in Black" Moore]

[Johnny Butane]

[Uncle Creepy]


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Iäm just stunned over the fact that almost all of you, if not everyone, have Saw V as one of the worst movies this year. I think it was one of the top horror movies this year, really brilliant. Sure it wasn't as horrifying as the others, but it was still very good!

To [Andrew Kasch]:
Well, looks like I can agree on most parts...
BUT, if you are going to give credit you have to look up some facts.. Let the right one in (or "Låt den rätte komma in") is a SWEDISH movie, not a Norwegian.
And belive me when I say this, we don't want to be compared to norwegians.


Submitted by ekneb on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 8:00am.
Doc Block's picture

I got to see Let The Right One In and Repo! yesterday. Both of them live up to their hype. Out of the two though, I absolutely LOVED Repo!. That is my number one horror flick of the year. Let The Right One In was a deep and emotional film, but I loved it too. Repo! was simply awesome though!


Submitted by Doc Block on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 11:36pm.
Blockbuster's picture

Me thinks that Franco has a thing for tranny porn. Or just trannies...I'm just sayin'. ;-)


Submitted by Blockbuster on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 11:17pm.
Ultimo Franco's picture

Did I miss something? Where is Value's list? Don't tell me he spent another year watching nothing but tranny porn.

Also, while I'm on the topic, why are both Value AND Jon Condit listed as mods in the forums? Is this some kind of split-personality, Dark Half, Raising Cain, tranny porn kind of thing?


Submitted by Ultimo Franco on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 7:53pm.
Ultimo Franco's picture

Was Funny Games really the most divisive film ever discussed at Dread Central? Well let me tell you the story of another divisive film from 2008...

http://www.dreadcentral.com/reviews/shark-swarm-dvd

Yeah, I plugged. Don't cost nuthin.


Submitted by Ultimo Franco on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 7:12pm.
Blockbuster's picture

That's a lotta dirt.


Submitted by Blockbuster on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 1:14am.
Mr. Dark's picture

Oh, and PS: the fact that The Strangers didn't make it onto anyone's 'worst' list is a crying shame. Just sayin'. :)

Mr. Dark
Part-Time Dread Central Gaming Guy
Full-Time Freelance Smartass


Submitted by Mr. Dark on Thu, 01/01/2009 - 3:56am.
Johnny Butane's picture

First of all, speak for yourself; I ain't ugly by any stretch of the imagination. I'd fucke me in a second.

Second, The Strangers was on the first draft of my "Worst" list but was replaced by Seed when that wormed it's way back into my consciousness.


Submitted by Johnny Butane on Thu, 01/01/2009 - 12:17pm.
The Buz's picture

Yeah I'd fuck the sense out of me too.


Submitted by The Buz on Thu, 01/01/2009 - 7:01pm.
Morgan Elektra's picture

Sexiest male horror staff on the interwebs, by far. Why else would I work here?


Submitted by Morgan Elektra on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:52pm.
Johnny Butane's picture

And THAT, folks, is how you keep your job! :D


Submitted by Johnny Butane on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:44pm.
Cash Bailey's picture

Fuck it all... LET THE RIGHT ONE IN is, quite simply, one of the greatest movies of all time.

If you disagree you are wrong.


Submitted by Cash Bailey on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 10:40pm.
Mr. Dark's picture

See, now my confusion is this: have you met the DC crew? With the exception of the very few lovely ladies, this is one seriously motley crew of -fugly- fellas. Dick sucking by any of us would be a minus, not a plus.

It'd be more correct to say that so far, Bousman has not been subjected to the horror of a DC-crew dick sucking due to our enjoyment of his latest project. You should be demanding that we -do- inflict said sucking on the man due to your hatred of his film.

Mr. Dark
Part-Time Dread Central Gaming Guy
Full-Time Freelance Smartass


Submitted by Mr. Dark on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 2:12pm.
RingoJ's picture

How many dicks was that?


Submitted by RingoJ on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:08pm.
The Buz's picture

Like a virgin.


Submitted by The Buz on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 6:29pm.
Nomad's picture

46. approximately. maybe. I'm gonna go brush my teeth.


Submitted by Nomad on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:56pm.

I will make sure my cock stays unwashed... Got a lot of smegma to get me cleaned up down there boy!


Submitted by PelusaMG on Thu, 01/01/2009 - 2:32pm.
Nomad's picture

ug..you had to make this dirty.


Submitted by Nomad on Thu, 01/01/2009 - 11:17pm.

I'm dirtier than a dirt truck full of dirt, trundling up a dirt road with a cabin full of dirtbags!!!


Submitted by PelusaMG on Thu, 01/01/2009 - 11:30pm.

Dead Set was a lot of fun. I feel like it was too long by about a half hour or so (of course, I watched the whole thing in one sitting and it may have worked better episodically), but the first hour and last half hour were phenomenal. I'd love to see it come back for another limited run.


Submitted by G.D. on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 9:19am.
Moonworks's picture

I missed Dead Set the first time, but watching it at the mo on Channel 4.

Seems pretty good.

Joe


Submitted by Moonworks on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 5:07pm.

Cool lists, guys. Makes me wish I saw more horror films this year. I'm still kicking myself for missing "Let the Right One In" when it played by me. I did see a few horror films, but mostly disappointments. The only one I sort of enjoyed was "Cloverfield."


Submitted by What The Cat Dr... on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 12:07am.
shaneg's picture

Sadly I haven't seen much new horror this year, and most of what I did see was just OK. Diary of the Dead while disappointing was still OK to me. I enjoyed Cloverfield. Was it great? Not really, but I was entertained for $4.00 at a 10am showing. The Happening was garbage. I enjoyed The Strangers. I just watched Hellboy II for the first time and I liked that. Hell, what do I know? I enjoyed Zombie Strippers! It sounds like a lot of the better sounding movies weren't even released anywhere near me. Guess I'll have to wait to netflix most of them.


Submitted by shaneg on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 11:41pm.

So when everyone stops sucking Darren Lynn Bousman's dick.. can we get an honest horror review.

I don't believe that so many people on one site would list this utter piece of shit as a top horror movie of the year.

I guess you'll be the only 9 people buying the dvd I see.


Submitted by FataleNoir on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 7:21pm.
moderator Considering just about
Debi Moore's picture

Considering just about everyone also listed Let the Right One In, I suppose that means we're sucking Tomas Alfredson's dick as well. Man, is my mouth tired!


Submitted by Debi Moore on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 12:59pm.
Morgan Elektra's picture

You really should stretch first... You don't want to hurt yourself. ;)

I wish I had remembered to put Let the Right One In on my best list. For some reason, my brain relegated it to 2007. I also meant to include Saw V to my honorable mentions for my worst, but my brain just will NOT remember it. I saw a couple other movies the same night I saw that, and not three hours later when I was talking about what movies I watched, I couldn't remember it for the life of me!!


Submitted by Morgan Elektra on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:58pm.
Sirand's picture

I love the people who piss and moan for an "honest" review when all they really want is to see a movie they didn't like trashed.


Submitted by Sirand on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 10:16pm.
Nomad's picture

Quite a few more than 9 people.


Submitted by Nomad on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 8:39pm.

Hopefully more than the number who actually saw it :)


Submitted by FataleNoir on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 8:52pm.
Nomad's picture

Do you know ANYTHING about this movie???


Submitted by Nomad on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 11:25pm.

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