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Dread Central's Best & Worst of 2008





Uncle Creepy's Picks

What a year. Thankfully we managed to get by without another solid month of bad like February 2007's 28 Days of Suck! So what hit and missed for Old Creepy? Let's take a look-see!

The Best and Worst of 2008

Hellboy II: The Golden Army: Know what I like? I like monster movies! Hellboy II: The Golden Army gave me legions of beasties in every shape, size, and color. With this film del Toro once again proves why he is one of the baddest motherfuckers working in the film industry today! Whatever he directs next, I don't even care if it's a live action adaptation of the McDonald's menu -- I am so there! Bravo!

Inside DVD (click for larger image)Inside: I watched Inside while my significant other lay quietly sleeping beside me. By the time it was over I felt like waking her up and scolding her for being so insensitive! I mean, shit dude, didn't she have any idea what I was just put through? This movie not only kicked my ass, it left me beaten, battered, scarred, and completely exhausted. I loved every minute!

Repo! The Genetic Opera: What happens when the old EC Comics horror rags crash headlong into The Rocky Horror Picture Show? You get Darren Lynn Bousman's exercise in the insane -- Repo! The Genetic Opera! It really doesn't get much better than this, folks. The screen is soaked deep red thanks to the gallons of gore that are gleefully splashed about with reckless abandon all while you rock along with a soundtrack that instantly embeds itself into your memory. How could you not have a good time? This is the movie that will become the cult hit that others have only promised. Simply put -- it's one of the most visually stimulating slices of sheer anarchic brilliance you will ever see.

The Signal: Yep. I have the crazy and I'm damned proud of it! The Signal is like horror's Pulp Fiction. Filled to the brim with stand-out performances, amazing camera work, and rock-solid direction, this is a sterling example of everything that independent horror should be.

Cloverfield: Now this ... this is what it's all about, man! A giant monster fucking up New York City. I bought into every ounce of Cloverfield's hype and felt that it lived up to it and then some. It left me slack-jawed and wanting more. Seriously, I'm hard pressed to find a single negative thing to say about it. I know there are many of you out there that will completely disagree with me, but you know what? This is my list so screw you! Cloverfield really did it for me, dude. It was the perfect trip down memory lane for this old Godzilla loving fool!

I will also (like Buz) offer a special mention to Paranormal Activity, which is the scariest film I've seen in years. Hopefully the idea of a remake has been put to bed and Dreamworks will finally unleash this movie by giving it the release it so richly deserves.

Honorable Mentions:

Diary of the Dead, Spiral, Let the Right One In, Splinter, The Cottage, Midnight Meat Train, Zombie Strippers

The Best and Worst of 2008

The Eye: "Being blind is so much fun! Being blind! Being bliiiind!" Of all the remakes of Asian horror I've had to sit through over the years, this is absolutely the worst of the crop. It completely missed the mark. Maybe the director was the blind one!

April Fool's Day 2008 DVD (click for larger imageApril Fool's Day (2008): So much anger ... hatred ... spite. Cannot write ... so ... much ... bullshit. Please ... shoot me know ... How? Why? It ... it hurts ... it burns ... This movie will make you question your love of film ... take it away! If you see it in a store ... do your part ... hide it ... shun it ... so ... very ... bad ...

Saw V: Mandylor. Mandylor. Costas MANDYLOR! Sing that along with the Saw theme. They are the perfect lyrics. Pretty amusing, no? Too bad that's the only thing that's even slightly enjoyable about this over-written, over-produced, franchise-halting shitfest. Please, Lionsgate ... We know you like cash. Who doesn't? But please stop making these. We're all done. There was a time when Halloween belonged to Saw but that time is at an end. Take what little dignity this series has left, pick up its bat and ball, and then go the fuck home.

The Happening: Don't let it happen to you.

Lost Boys: The Tribe: Twenty years. That's how long we've waited for a sequel to the much beloved film The Lost Boys. How I wish we could have kept waiting. Everything about this movie sucks from top to bottom. Surfing vampires? Why even fight these guys? Have a priest bless the ocean, and we're done. If only it were that quick and painless. There's a special place in hell waiting for the buffoon who cast The Sutherland™ in this movie. Sleep with one eye open, asswipe!

Dishonorable Mentions:

Mother of Tears, Funny Games, Prom Night, The Haunting of Molly Hartley, Mirrors, and a special heartfelt fuck you to Max Payne for being the worst thing I've seen in a theatre in ages. I snuck in and still felt cheated!

[Andrew Kasch]

[The Foywonder]

[Nomad]

[The Buz]

[Morgan Elektra]

[Debi "The Woman in Black" Moore]

[Johnny Butane]

[Uncle Creepy]

HERE'S TO A BIGGER & BETTER 2009!

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Iäm just stunned over the fact that almost all of you, if not everyone, have Saw V as one of the worst movies this year. I think it was one of the top horror movies this year, really brilliant. Sure it wasn't as horrifying as the others, but it was still very good!

To [Andrew Kasch]:
Well, looks like I can agree on most parts...
BUT, if you are going to give credit you have to look up some facts.. Let the right one in (or "Låt den rätte komma in") is a SWEDISH movie, not a Norwegian.
And belive me when I say this, we don't want to be compared to norwegians.


Submitted by ekneb on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 8:00am.
Doc Block's picture

I got to see Let The Right One In and Repo! yesterday. Both of them live up to their hype. Out of the two though, I absolutely LOVED Repo!. That is my number one horror flick of the year. Let The Right One In was a deep and emotional film, but I loved it too. Repo! was simply awesome though!


Submitted by Doc Block on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 11:36pm.
Blockbuster's picture

Me thinks that Franco has a thing for tranny porn. Or just trannies...I'm just sayin'. ;-)


Submitted by Blockbuster on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 11:17pm.
Ultimo Franco's picture

Did I miss something? Where is Value's list? Don't tell me he spent another year watching nothing but tranny porn.

Also, while I'm on the topic, why are both Value AND Jon Condit listed as mods in the forums? Is this some kind of split-personality, Dark Half, Raising Cain, tranny porn kind of thing?


Submitted by Ultimo Franco on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 7:53pm.
Ultimo Franco's picture

Was Funny Games really the most divisive film ever discussed at Dread Central? Well let me tell you the story of another divisive film from 2008...

http://www.dreadcentral.com/reviews/shark-swarm-dvd

Yeah, I plugged. Don't cost nuthin.


Submitted by Ultimo Franco on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 7:12pm.
Blockbuster's picture

That's a lotta dirt.


Submitted by Blockbuster on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 1:14am.
Mr. Dark's picture

Oh, and PS: the fact that The Strangers didn't make it onto anyone's 'worst' list is a crying shame. Just sayin'. :)

Mr. Dark
Part-Time Dread Central Gaming Guy
Full-Time Freelance Smartass


Submitted by Mr. Dark on Thu, 01/01/2009 - 3:56am.
Johnny Butane's picture

First of all, speak for yourself; I ain't ugly by any stretch of the imagination. I'd fucke me in a second.

Second, The Strangers was on the first draft of my "Worst" list but was replaced by Seed when that wormed it's way back into my consciousness.


Submitted by Johnny Butane on Thu, 01/01/2009 - 12:17pm.
The Buz's picture

Yeah I'd fuck the sense out of me too.


Submitted by The Buz on Thu, 01/01/2009 - 7:01pm.
Morgan Elektra's picture

Sexiest male horror staff on the interwebs, by far. Why else would I work here?


Submitted by Morgan Elektra on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:52pm.
Johnny Butane's picture

And THAT, folks, is how you keep your job! :D


Submitted by Johnny Butane on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:44pm.
Cash Bailey's picture

Fuck it all... LET THE RIGHT ONE IN is, quite simply, one of the greatest movies of all time.

If you disagree you are wrong.


Submitted by Cash Bailey on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 10:40pm.
Mr. Dark's picture

See, now my confusion is this: have you met the DC crew? With the exception of the very few lovely ladies, this is one seriously motley crew of -fugly- fellas. Dick sucking by any of us would be a minus, not a plus.

It'd be more correct to say that so far, Bousman has not been subjected to the horror of a DC-crew dick sucking due to our enjoyment of his latest project. You should be demanding that we -do- inflict said sucking on the man due to your hatred of his film.

Mr. Dark
Part-Time Dread Central Gaming Guy
Full-Time Freelance Smartass


Submitted by Mr. Dark on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 2:12pm.
RingoJ's picture

How many dicks was that?


Submitted by RingoJ on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:08pm.
The Buz's picture

Like a virgin.


Submitted by The Buz on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 6:29pm.
Nomad's picture

46. approximately. maybe. I'm gonna go brush my teeth.


Submitted by Nomad on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:56pm.

I will make sure my cock stays unwashed... Got a lot of smegma to get me cleaned up down there boy!


Submitted by PelusaMG on Thu, 01/01/2009 - 2:32pm.
Nomad's picture

ug..you had to make this dirty.


Submitted by Nomad on Thu, 01/01/2009 - 11:17pm.

I'm dirtier than a dirt truck full of dirt, trundling up a dirt road with a cabin full of dirtbags!!!


Submitted by PelusaMG on Thu, 01/01/2009 - 11:30pm.

Dead Set was a lot of fun. I feel like it was too long by about a half hour or so (of course, I watched the whole thing in one sitting and it may have worked better episodically), but the first hour and last half hour were phenomenal. I'd love to see it come back for another limited run.


Submitted by G.D. on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 9:19am.
Moonworks's picture

I missed Dead Set the first time, but watching it at the mo on Channel 4.

Seems pretty good.

Joe


Submitted by Moonworks on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 5:07pm.

Cool lists, guys. Makes me wish I saw more horror films this year. I'm still kicking myself for missing "Let the Right One In" when it played by me. I did see a few horror films, but mostly disappointments. The only one I sort of enjoyed was "Cloverfield."


Submitted by What The Cat Dr... on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 12:07am.
shaneg's picture

Sadly I haven't seen much new horror this year, and most of what I did see was just OK. Diary of the Dead while disappointing was still OK to me. I enjoyed Cloverfield. Was it great? Not really, but I was entertained for $4.00 at a 10am showing. The Happening was garbage. I enjoyed The Strangers. I just watched Hellboy II for the first time and I liked that. Hell, what do I know? I enjoyed Zombie Strippers! It sounds like a lot of the better sounding movies weren't even released anywhere near me. Guess I'll have to wait to netflix most of them.


Submitted by shaneg on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 11:41pm.

So when everyone stops sucking Darren Lynn Bousman's dick.. can we get an honest horror review.

I don't believe that so many people on one site would list this utter piece of shit as a top horror movie of the year.

I guess you'll be the only 9 people buying the dvd I see.


Submitted by FataleNoir on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 7:21pm.
moderator Considering just about
Debi Moore's picture

Considering just about everyone also listed Let the Right One In, I suppose that means we're sucking Tomas Alfredson's dick as well. Man, is my mouth tired!


Submitted by Debi Moore on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 12:59pm.
Morgan Elektra's picture

You really should stretch first... You don't want to hurt yourself. ;)

I wish I had remembered to put Let the Right One In on my best list. For some reason, my brain relegated it to 2007. I also meant to include Saw V to my honorable mentions for my worst, but my brain just will NOT remember it. I saw a couple other movies the same night I saw that, and not three hours later when I was talking about what movies I watched, I couldn't remember it for the life of me!!


Submitted by Morgan Elektra on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:58pm.
Sirand's picture

I love the people who piss and moan for an "honest" review when all they really want is to see a movie they didn't like trashed.


Submitted by Sirand on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 10:16pm.
Nomad's picture

Quite a few more than 9 people.


Submitted by Nomad on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 8:39pm.

Hopefully more than the number who actually saw it :)


Submitted by FataleNoir on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 8:52pm.
Nomad's picture

Do you know ANYTHING about this movie???


Submitted by Nomad on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 11:25pm.

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