Day of the Dumb?
I think that I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
You know, I am gettin' ridiculously tired of watching people cash in on the work of George A. Romero. It all kind of started with John (I just bought a vowel for my biz name) A. Russo and his abysmal Night of the Living Dead: The 30th Anniversary Edition, a film so foul I don't even want to discuss it further. From there we've seen Night of the Living Dead 3D (review here), which was bad but at least good for a few completely unintentional laughs; the double shot of shit from Taurus Entertainment known as Day of the Dead 2: Contagium (review here) and Creepshow 3 (review here); and others that have begged, borrowed, and stolen.
Don't get me wrong; it hasn't all been bad. Shaun of the Dead was a masterpiece homage done right, and even Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead was way better than anyone could have imagined. Yet, maybe, just maybe, Dawn was too good. It's because of its success that we are where we are right now: Waiting for the remake of Day of the Dead.
Aint it Cool News scored an early look at the new film, and according to their review all of our worst fears have been confirmed. Let's take a look at a few excerpts, shall we?
"Again this is more of a warning than anything else. They are going to try and trick you into seeing this flaming turd. The ads are going to try and make you think this is another Dawn of the Dead. It's not."
"But these aren't regular zombies. These zombies are fast! They run, they climb up walls and crawl across the ceiling. They even drive cars. When there's no more room in Hell, the dead will drive the earth. These zombies even dive out of the way when you try to hit them with a car. I'm pretty sure several were having a book club meeting. And in an inspiring bit of fancy, they burst into ash like cheap CGI vampires when they're set on fire."
"Bud turns into a full blown zombie but doesn't want to eat his friends because he's a vegetarian. I shit you not. He won't eat people because he's a fucking vegetarian. At least I now know I'll be safe in LA when the zombies come because everyone here is a vegan."
"The whole time I was watching Day of the Dead I kept thinking this is a lot like one of those unwatchable Sci-Fi Channel tv-movies"
Click the link above for their full review if you can stomach any more. Another one bites the dust.
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