Zombie TV (2014)

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Zombie TV (2014)Starring Maki Mizui, Takashi Nishina, Tomoya Maeno

Directed by Yoshihiro Nishimura

Distributed by Pony Canyon


I think in the grand scheme of everything I can honestly say, without so much as a shred of a doubt, that I have seen it all. As I sifted through a pile of potential reviews, I was immediately drawn to Yoshihiro Nishimura’s gore-infused horror comedy anthology piece Zombie TV and figured, “What the hell?!” It turns out that laying sight upon that mythic “seventh circle of Hades” might have been easier on the eyes than this visual atrocity.

From his previous work on such blood-soaked films as Tokyo Gore Police and Suicide Club, one should not have to call into question Nishimura’s obvious affinity for the crimson showers that permeate any one of his movies, and this one is no exception. As the movie starts off, we bear witness to the “Pink Zombie,” who at times is singing about the praises of being undead and that all of your worries are non-existent. She also has a few scenes where she is seen biting different people who’ve apparently asked for her to chomp down on their bare skin. (Note: These scenes are NOT done with makeup – there are actual severe bite marks shown afterwards.)

Moving on, the film is displayed in an anthology-styled premise with the idea that we’re watching a channel designed exclusively for the undead, complete with soap opera vignettes, infomercials and comedic sketches. Allow me to give you some examples of the things on parade in this optically-challenging 77-minute movie:

We get to see the benefits of working out with a zombie and some equally beneficial evasion techniques in a Zombie Workout, a day in the life of a woman who has been bitten and waits for the inevitable change, which includes an afterlife battle for food for one recently transformed denizen of the dead (who knew foraging for human flesh was equivalent to the Olympic Games?). An idyllic stroll through a crowded city is documented in Grampa Zombie (apparently shot in the same vein as Johnny Knoxville’s Bad Grandpa) – a fight club program between tactically-differing flesh-eaters (with a notable nod to Cannibal Holocaust) and a series of makeup tests with eerily crooned lyrics by vocal artists.

As much as I was painfully glaring at the screen in the middle of this presentation of inanity, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to revel in the amount of gore that Nishimura decided to splash around. The blood at times comes down in waterfall fashion, and the look of skin tears due to biting is visually appealing (to the gorehound, that is). When all was said and done and the film had drawn to a close, I couldn’t see myself necessarily pushing “Play” on this one EVER again, but for the hardcore zombie fan this is one TV channel they might want to keep in their “favorites” list.

1 1/2 out of 5

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