Tales from the Crypt: Season 7 (DVD)

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Tales from the Crypt Season 7 DVD (click for larger image)Reviewed by Uncle Creepy

Starring Bob Hoskins, Ewan McGregor, Daniel Craig, Eddie Izzard

Produced by Richard Donner, David Giler, Walter Hill, Joel Silver, and Robert Zemeckis

Distributed by Warner Home Video


How hard the mighty have fallen. HBO’s Tales from the Crypt in its heyday was one of the hottest horror go-to properties out there. The muscle of its producers, coupled with some big name stars and directors, helped to carve out one hell of a niche for Tales both in the industry and amongst fans. Then it happened. The Crypt Keeper donned Bermuda shorts, a brown leather jacket, and a set of water skis. Season 7 is the perfect example of a show jumping the shark.

I didn’t notice how badly this series started sucking back in the day. I was young and stupid. Now all these years later it’s pretty apparent. Speaking of apparent, another thing I didn’t notice was that for its seventh season Tales was farmed out to the Brits. While this isn’t exactly a bad thing in and of itself, it does show how little confidence HBO had left in its once flagship show. Gone are the big name stars. Gone are the big name directors. In their places are upstarts, the ill-prepared, and a final animated episode that is so absolutely ludicrous that it screams, “Why are we even trying?”

Tales from the Crypt Season 7 DVD (click for larger image)If it sounds like I am being hard on this season, I am. Season 7 is a near abomination. A black eye on the face that once cast a ghastly bit of beauty. There are a few okay episodes like “Fatal Caper,” which tells the story of a noblewoman’s will that sparks all manner of evil shenanigans, and “Horror in the Night,” which has some really great gore, but other than that? We get eleven more episodes of uninspired crap. We’re talking real stinkers here, folks.

I’m pretty sure the powers that be knew this, too, because the only extra to be found in this set is a virtual comic for “The Fatal Caper”. I don’t blame them one bit. Lord knows this season isn’t worth a look back.

Looking for some great Tales from the Crypt action? Look elsewhere! Some of the episodes contained here make the abysmal Bordello of Blood flick look like a vintage Carpenter film. Recently there’s been a bit of chatter regarding a new version of Tales. Let’s hope that happens because it sucks seeing anyone or anything go out like this.

Shark jumped.

Special Features

  • “Fatal Caper” virtual comic

    Season:

    2 out of 5

    Special Features:

    1 out of 5

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