Sorority Sisters Slaughter (2008)
Reviewed by The Foywonder
Starring Maia Campbell, Kam, YB, Erica Ringer, Terry Bookhart, Tafne Ellington, Randall Brooks
Directed by Susan Hippen
I just recently signed up for Netflix. My very first Netflix selection was a recent release entitled Sorority Sister Slaughter. I strongly suspect I am the first person who ever put Sorority Sister Slaughter at the top of their queue. And so I christened my Netflix subscription in much the same way that iceberg christened the Titanic.
I do not blame anyone responsible for the making of Sorority Sister Slaughter. A no-budget amateur movie like this never should have gotten a proper DVD release to start with. This should've been chalked up to being a practice movie; the film the makers cut their teeth on before moving on to make a real movie meant for public consumption. Even a two-bit DVD company like York Entertainment (AKA the company so cheap their DVD menu screens are just blue screens with the date the DVD was recorded and if you're lucky the name of the film! For real!) should have higher standards than this. York Entertainment is whom I blame here; they're the ones who gave this film the light of day.
Speaking of lighting, bathing nearly every scene in blue or red lighting does not generate spooky atmosphere; it only goes to make your movie appear that much cheaper and uglier and this is one of the ugliest movies I've ever had the misfortune of watching.
It opens with grainy, nighttime, handheld footage of a house - a very bad start to say the least. Then we get a graphic informing us this is "BASED ON A TRUE STORY". I highly doubt this to be the case. Filmmakers, listen to me, you're not the Coen Brothers - stop doing that.
We begin with a black & white flashback scene showing us a picked-on sorority girl committing suicide in a manner that looked more like a bathtub abortion gone bad. Maybe it was and I missed the explanation; some of the audio was so low and muffled I couldn't understand what was being said. Even though the film is but a scant 70-minutes in length the director still shows us this entire scene again 20-minutes later. I can understand why since almost nothing happens for about the first 35-minutes.
Things that do eventually happen: a guy getting paddled, a game of strip basketball, body paint go-go dancing, spontaneous vaginal bleeding, and a girl puking up blood and plastic bugs ... Please don't let any of this sound tantalizing because I assure you it is anything but. The sexy stuff is devoid of nudity or sex appeal and the gore moments are few, far between, and not worth the wait. Unless you're scared by a zombie girl with bad skin slowly walking around candlelit hallways over and over again then there is absolutely nothing here for anyone to see. The only creeps stem from how slowly the pacing creeps along. Comparisons between this movie and a lead balloon would be most fitting.
Though I must admit I've never seen a horror movie where a person was killed by being hit hard in the forehead with a basketball over and over while down on the ground. That's right, folks. Someone actually gets dribbled to death in this movie. Again, don't let it sound more interesting than it actually is.
This is one of those horror movies about the new girls moving into the sorority house where someone once died and allegedly spooky things still occur; then the immature boyfriends get in and soon the wrathful spirit of that long dead sorority girl begins to, well, you know the drill. I'd say there really isn't much more to the plot except there's never really much of a plot in the first place. Or characters, for that matter. There are people in this movie but they are not what I'd call characters, nor are these people what I'd call actors. The whole enterprise is barely one step up from a home movie made on a lark.
The moment a room full of sorority girls broke out a Ouija board I was thinking it was time to break out the hard liquor. Then I remembered I don't drink and thus I was going to have to get through this ordeal stone cold sober. That's when I began to feel sad. Then I remembered the fast forward button and became less sad.
Come to think of it, I'm really the one to blame here. I shouldn't have even bothered watching Sorority Sister Slaughter in the first place. Nobody should. There's no movie here, certainly not one that's worth watching unless you were actually involved in its making.
0 out of 5
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